18 Ways To Be A Good Liberal

[Electric Sheep]

18 WAYS TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL
(With apologizes to any liberals around here :grin:)


1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on
demand.



2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
create prosperity.



3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are
more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran
or Chinese and North Korean communists.



4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.



5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms
driving SUV's.



6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being
homosexual is natural.



7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal
funding.



8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th- graders
how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.



9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA
activists do.



10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
doing something to earn it.



11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money
to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.



12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of
the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts
of the Constitution.



13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.



14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and
Thomas Edison.



15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides are not.



16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.




17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and
transve stites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at
Christmas should be illegal.



18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing
conspiracy.



GOD BLESS AMERICA Oops, can't do that either

[Boppa-Wasch]

Dang! I guess I don't pass!

[tobby4]

not even close... damn oh well

[RX2010]

*applause*

[smokem94]

That's the first test I flunked since I can remember!

[tobby4]

Yea that is also one of the few tests that you want to fail....

that and an STD test

[caudio51]

nice test

[jrohrer]

i don;t know man...If I had to choose I would consider myself a liberal, and quite frankly I took offense to many of those statements. LIke I said, I consider myself a liberal...but have never implied...anywhere...that American;s don;t have a right to carry a gun. I've never said manger scenes should be illegal. I do believe that human interactions have sped up the natural cyclic process of global warming, and that we have reached levels and situations NEVER before experienced in our planets mulit-billion year history. and I certainly believe public education is our countries best chance...with proper support and funding that is.

OK, sorry, felt like getting intense there for a second...I'll step off the soapbox now!:grin:

[RX2010]

here's a towel (for your bleeding heart)


:wink:

[caudio51]

I think you're forgetting this is in the Comdey section.

Jokes pertain to different political parties, races and genders to name a few.

[Electric Sheep]

Ha-ha! It's supposed to be offensive...it's a tasteless joke! :grin: Someone could easily devise a similar list for conservatives as well.




(personall, I fall somewhere in middle, but I still thought it was funny)

[Wasch_24]

Funny as hell!
:rofl:

[jrohrer]

awright....you guys are right...didn;t mean do get all personal...nor do I take it personal...my fault!

let the ribbing continue:stretchgr

[jrohrer]

here's a towel (for your bleeding heart)


:wink:


awright...I deserved that!:peace:

[CWS]

i don;t know man...If I had to choose I would consider myself a liberal, and quite frankly I took offense to many of those statements. LIke I said, I consider myself a liberal...but have never implied...anywhere...that American;s don;t have a right to carry a gun. I've never said manger scenes should be illegal. I do believe that human interactions have sped up the natural cyclic process of global warming, and that we have reached levels and situations NEVER before experienced in our planets mulit-billion year history. and I certainly believe public education is our countries best chance...with proper support and funding that is.

OK, sorry, felt like getting intense there for a second...I'll step off the soapbox now!:grin:

:squinteye :squinteye

[tobby4]

I think I would get up on a soapbox too... If I was wrong all the time..










































I kid I kid

[jrohrer]

fair...is that it boys...thoght it woud be much worse than that!

[tobby4]

I am just trying to be nice

[acaffey]

OK... allow me to serve as a representative of conservatives with humor everywhere...

TO BE A GOOD CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN...

<edited for content>

[smokem94]

See..... the first one was funny because it was true and did not contain any "bashing" there in lies the difference.

[Electric Sheep]

Dang, I actually agreed with a couple of those. :grin:

[Jwrussell]

As Mike said, the first one was funny because it was meant as comedy while poking fun at one party. Yours Aaron was (except for a few) openly hostile and in many places over the line.

As was pointed out, this is in the comedy section. If this keeps up we'll probably see this post in the debate section.

[PetersCreek]

Um...."fellow Klansmen"....WTF? Not a very good example of humor.

[Rank_Tyro]

A long time ago, I was a member of a clan. There were 12 members, and we fucking RULED Battle.net for almost a year.

Then WOW came out, and StarCraft fell by the wayside. *sniff* I miss StarCraft.......


oops, Klan.....not clan

[Wasch_24]

See..... the first one was funny because it was true and did not contain any "bashing" there in lies the difference.
Agreed



Did you make that list up?

[cvm4]

Damn, that 2nd list was harsh. The 1st was dang funny!

[pharmgator]

A long time ago, I was a member of a clan. There were 12 members, and we fucking RULED Battle.net for almost a year.

Then WOW came out, and StarCraft fell by the wayside. *sniff* I miss StarCraft.......


oops, Klan.....not clan

Dude I wasted countless hours terrorizing people on battle.net. Starcraft rocks.

[acaffey]

As Mike said, the first one was funny because it was meant as comedy while poking fun at one party. Yours Aaron was (except for a few) openly hostile and in many places over the line.

As was pointed out, this is in the comedy section. If this keeps up we'll probably see this post in the debate section.

First of all - I didn't make it up, but I did read it before I posted it. Maybe a few were a bit harsh, but I certainly didn't mean to be openly hostile. Candidly, I can certainly find points in both post that could be offensive depending on your political affiliation, but I'm not interested in arguing whether or not my post was generally offensive as it doesn't matter - I was wrong for posting it without taking full stock of who it would or wouldn't upset. I apologize and the post has been edited.

Also, It may be unclear that I, as a conservative, was posting a similar list to sheep's to show that conservatives have a sense of humor. I need to work on my written communications skills.

[CWS]

Sall cool dude.

[Electric Sheep]

For the record, while I thought it was lacking the same quality of humor (meaning, it was less sophisticated) I wasn't offended by it in the least.

:waving:

[Boppa-Wasch]

Way too sensative!

[Wasch_24]

For the record, while I thought it was lacking the same quality of humor (meaning, it was less sophisticated) I wasn't offended by it in the least.

:waving:
He just said your joke was less sophisticated...them's fightin' words. :rofl:

[tobby4]

ha...

[Greg]

Steve and I are offended by #17

[cvm4]

:rofl:

[tobby4]

the homosexual part or the drag queen part

[acaffey]

He just said your joke was less sophisticated...them's fightin' words. :rofl:

Calling someone "less sophisticated" is typically regarded as a compliment where I'm from. I'll cut him some slack.

[Wasch_24]

:rofl:

[Electric Sheep]

Besides, he don't wanna start nuthin' tween Texas and Georgia again. Last time that happened, he lost a tooth.

:grin:

[acaffey]

Besides, he don't wanna start nuthin' tween Texas and Georgia again. Last time that happened, he lost a tooth.

:grin:

Oh now come on... the teeth again? You're gonna make fun of a Georgian for missing a tooth? That's like making fun of a Texan for screwing sheep.:grinFU:

[millenniumt]

As Mike said, the first one was funny because it was meant as comedy while poking fun at one party. Yours Aaron was (except for a few) openly hostile and in many places over the line.

I would estimate this is 100% dependent on your perception. I found them to be rather idiotic personally.

anyone who doesn't agree with me can blow up :robosmile

[millenniumt]

haha just kidding

but seriously

[Electric Sheep]

Oddly enough, we really don't have many sheep in Texas.
We gots lotsa cows and goats, but very few sheep. Heck,
I've probably seen more ostrich than sheep in Texas, LOL.























Of course, I'm not suggesting that you SHOULDN'T screw sheep. Sheep like sex. :grin:

[CWS]

Seems to me they used to shoot sheep men on sight in Texas not al that long ago.

[Frank N]

.... and that we have reached levels and situations NEVER before experienced in our planets mulit-billion year history.

My wife just blurted out "And never before in our life have we experianced dinosaurs" While reading over my shoulder.

[Frank N]

I'm conservative on Gun ownership, but I'm liberal on Strippers. :grin:

[jrohrer]

My wife just blurted out "And never before in our life have we experianced dinosaurs" While reading over my shoulder.

I'll have to double check my research...but i'm pretty sure dinos didn;t emit billions of tons of greenhouse gases to speed up the natural global warming cycle:dunno:

LIke I said...I'll double check though!:rofl:

[CWS]

I'll have to double check my research...but i'm pretty sure dinos didn;t emit billions of tons of greenhouse gases to speed up the natural global warming cycle:dunno:

LIke I said...I'll double check though!:rofl:

I dunno. They want to outlaw dairys in LA county because the cows emit green house gases that are causing a major boost in LA's smog problem. Gotta assume them dinos put out a LOT more gas.:rofl:

[Altercall]

I'll have to double check my research...but i'm pretty sure dinos didn;t emit billions of tons of greenhouse gases to speed up the natural global warming cycle:dunno:

LIke I said...I'll double check though!:rofl:

I'm a Science techer down here, and they could have. Methane is actually up to 200 times worse than CO2 as a greenhouse gas. It has to do with the way the methane breaks down, but needless to say, those big ole dinosaurs that ate all the green, leafy vegetables could have produced some major gas.

[CWS]

I'm a Science techer down here, and they could have. Methane is actually up to 200 times worse than CO2 as a greenhouse gas. It has to do with the way the methane breaks down, but needless to say, those big ole dinosaurs that ate all the green, leafy vegetables could have produced some major gas.

Damn gassy dinos.:stretchgr

[jrohrer]

I'm a Science techer down here, and they could have. Methane is actually up to 200 times worse than CO2 as a greenhouse gas. It has to do with the way the methane breaks down, but needless to say, those big ole dinosaurs that ate all the green, leafy vegetables could have produced some major gas.


true...but there weren't any species around back then that were breeding them for sustenance!

Besides...many dinos were either a) carnivores or b) decendants of birds, not mammals or bovine




oh...and I'm also a science teacher ....UP here!:stretchgr

[Electric Sheep]

Dinosaurs are sexy, too. :grin:

[acaffey]

Dinosaurs are sexy, too. :grin:

http://www.botl.org/community/forums/gallery/thum_112545d5c32eec7ef.gif

I know, I know - lacking sophistication.

[pharmgator]

ROFL!!!! That shit is funny as hell.

[Electric Sheep]

LMAO!!!

Barney in lingerie...that is just wrong!!!

[tobby4]

wow... that is wrong...

[PetersCreek]

Besides...many dinos were either a) carnivores or b) decendants of birds, not mammals or bovine

(a) Like modern ecosystems, I think dinosaur populations were bottom-heavy with herbivores, with quite a few insectivores and omnivores thrown in...and a smaller but substantial number of carnivores at the "top" of the food chain. Could be wrong. Correct me if I am.

(b) A bit backwards isn't it? Aren't birds thought to be descendents of dinosaurs...specifically therapods...making the dinos predecessors? Be that as it may, the fact that dinos were not mammals doesn't really say much about their flatulence one way or the other. Admitting to a lack of in-depth knowledge, I'd hazard a wild-assed guess that ruminants are ruminants the world over and may well fart pretty much the same. :glassesgr

As for paleo-greenhouse gasses, I seem to remember reading a while back that there's evidence indicating GHG levels tracked the temperature changes rather than vice versa. The gist was temp changes led to large changes in flora populations and perhaps large scale die-offs (and the resulting decomposition) that were responsible or contributed greatly. Vulcanism was cited as another major player during some periods, as well.

Edit to explain an inaccurate screw-up: I used "ruminant" when I probably should've said "grazers are grazers the world over" or some such. Technically speaking, ruminants (like cows) have multiple stomachs to digest tough vegetable matter and not all herbivores are ruminants. I don't know off the top of my head if any dinosaurs had multiple stomachs but I do understand that many (most?) herbivores had only one and that certain sauropods like Apatosaurus swallowed stones to aid in digestion.

[CWS]

:eyequiver :eyequiver Someone's done their research.

[Wasch_24]

Nice one Bret!

[tobby4]

nice research...

[acaffey]

...certain sauropods like Apatosaurus swallowed stones to aid in digestion.

I do that when I run out of tums.

[tedski]

I just read this thread.

So are we saying that liberals will soon be among the class of extinct, gassy herbivores?

[tobby4]

I just read this thread.

So are we saying that liberals will soon be among the class of extinct, gassy herbivores?

well thats the hope...

[Electric Sheep]

Aren't birds thought to be descendents of dinosaurs...specifically therapods...making the dinos predecessors?

Actually, no.

PROOF: Dinos are sexy, but birds are not.



:eyebrow:

[CWS]

Actually, no.

PROOF: Dinos are sexy, but birds are not.



:eyebrow:

Whats this thing you go going with dinos Sheep? :wtf:

[Electric Sheep]

I don't have a thing with the Dinos.

I have a thing with the sex. :grin:






(Basically, I like to fawk)

[Frank N]

(Basically, I like to fawk)


Just don't tell his wife. lol

[caudio51]

I'm conservative on Gun ownership, but I'm liberal on Strippers. :grin:

I'm with ya!