acaffey
09-17-2007, 04:42 PM
I almost forgot this one and thought I should record it for posterity...
I was buying a large bag of dog food at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the dog food diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time and had awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no - it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought the one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
I was buying a large bag of dog food at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the dog food diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time and had awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no - it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought the one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.