What's new

Struggling with a decision...

slave2theaxe

Anything worth doing is worth overdoing
Rating - 100%
25   0   0
Joined
Jul 8, 2010
Messages
917
Location
Langhorne, PA
Hey guys,
So some of you know I recently retired from the military after 23 years. During my time in, my family had to deal with me working long hours and being gone on deployments...missing birthdays, anniversaries, holidays...

The one thing I really wanted post-military, was for them to be able to have me around all the time.

Well, now I've been presented with an opportunity to make some really good money, but the kicker is, it requires me to deploy once again for 4 months at a time...4 months gone, 4 months home.

Pros:
The possibility of bringing in $120-180 a year.
Live wherever I want (no need to relocate).
The 4 months off are MINE...no need to go to work or anything.

Cons:
There's only one really...being deployed for 4 months at a time.

So, do I take a job locally making less, but I'm home everyday? Or do I suck it up and do this job for a few years and build up a nice nestegg for my family and then find something local?

This is the dilemma I'm struggling with. Any advice from my brothers out there?

Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk
 
Rating - 100%
8   0   0
Joined
Jul 4, 2018
Messages
1,327
Location
Southern California
I’m with Ninja. Money is great, more is always better than less, but you can’t get back time, trust me, I know.

When you were doing your military time, you did what you had to do for you, your family, and your country. Now you have a choice. Family comes first.
 

Jfire

BoM 9/9' 9/11' 8/12'
Rating - 100%
391   0   0
Joined
Sep 2, 2008
Messages
7,508
Location
Yorkville, IL
What are your goals for final retirement and what do they look like now. (23 years of service I’m guessing you are pensioned)
Money def does not buy happiness but it creates a stability going into retirement years.
How close and strong is the bond with you and your wife?(communication) Will the separation cause more issues. Years of deployments probably haven’t helped.
Being old, well off and divorced is not what I call having a good time.
What age are your kids? Teens, college age? If older I think they can “handle” it more. I also think you can “handle” the guilt of being gone better.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

ChuckMejia

The General
Rating - 100%
122   0   0
Joined
Dec 2, 2014
Messages
9,367
Location
Jacksonville, NC
Out of all the contractors you met while deployed... how many were happy?

I met a lot of contractors within Triple Canopy and the Ordnance community while i was there and i can't say a single one was happy while in country. They said the money was good, but that was about it.

Do you want a happy job or a shitty gig that pays a ton?

your calls broskie

It comes down to wether or not you want to be around the family often or not.
 
Last edited:

The Munt

Observe everything. Listen intently.
Rating - 100%
40   0   0
Joined
Mar 29, 2015
Messages
3,039
Location
Karalee, QLD, Australia
I just took a similar plunge mate, there were a lot of other factors for me though, like the business I was working with was a dead end one.
And on top of that my new roster is only going to be 2 weeks on, 1 week off, so nowhere near 4 months.

I've worked away for more than a month at a time before and I came to the conclusion working away is only manageable 2 weeks at a time for me and mine, or taking the option of bringing your family with you so you see them every night.
Lifestyle will naturally become more expensive if you earn more. So there is the golden handcuff factor that is very hard to go back from as well, had to do that 3 years ago and it's not easy to go back to less $$ when you get used to high rolling.

For me I know 4 months would be far too long away, so I wouldn't even try. But you may find it's better to be honest with your potential employer, and say I'm not certain but I'll give it a go for one deployment and let you know if we can manage, if that's an option. Because there is nothing worse than being stuck somewhere you don't want to be for a long time. As soon as I knew I had a goal / end date with working away, and no matter what I would be back with my family in 12 months, it gave me enough positivity to get through the year.

If you do decide to, just make sure you have a goal in mind, and end date to work with, and enough wriggle room to get out if it turns out to be a bad choice for you and your family.

4 months is a very long time though mate. There is no place where 4 months away is conducive to a good family orientated lifestyle.
Are there any deployments of month on month off available? Or even 2? Even time is good except when it's that long.

And agree with @ChuckMejia , when I was working away, the amount of grey haired men that lost everything at 55 anyway when their kids had grown up and their wife left them was phenomenal.

They worked their whole lives away only to lose it all <5yrs from retirement. I like to think my partner and I have a strong relationship but the statistics are just plain scary and I don't assume to be any better than some of those men.
 
Rating - 100%
41   0   0
Joined
Feb 11, 2015
Messages
3,722
Location
Joplin, MO
The ultimate choice is yours, but from personal experience, time with family is much more rewarding than money. A few years back, i took a huge pay cut to be able to spend more time with family and have not regretted it once. Yes, money got tight, but as the munt said, you will learn to live within your means (high or low).
Very good points were made here and i very much agree that you need to be speaking with your family about this whole thing. I am sure they will be a much better resource than a bunch of guys online.
Good luck, brother!
 
Rating - 100%
93   0   0
Joined
Jul 30, 2017
Messages
1,643
Location
California
Depending on your skillset, why couldn’t you find a $120-180K / year job and be home in your bed every night?

I’m currently in a travel job where I’m away from home weeks at a time and although I don’t have a wife and kids, the girlfriend isn’t thrilled about it and I’d much rather be at home in my own bed with her than be on the road.

There’s a ton of jobs available that pay well here, just gotta find the right one and make it happen!
 

AlohaStyle

BoM Sept '12 & Aug '13
Rating - 100%
185   0   0
Joined
Aug 7, 2009
Messages
5,311
Location
WA
For me, it would come down to your kids, and obviously the wife's reply. If you have kids out of the house but no grand kids, that's much easier to be away. But if you have grand kids living close by, that could be great grandpa time that you lost with your own kids when they were young. But I'm guessing you're 41/42 years old and maybe no grand kids yet. If the wife would want to save up a 2-3 years of a well paying job, gotta think about doing it.

But for me personally, money isn't everything... I'd much rather have a happy family life. As Jfire mentioned, you will have a pension coming to you to fall back on.
 

D Quintero

Fumador
Rating - 100%
33   0   0
Joined
Nov 9, 2009
Messages
3,131
Location
Houston
had my fill @ 12 years.
luckily my contract was up right before my unit's next assignment - gate guard duty for X months in Kuwait .

Me says , Skip the BS disappearing gigs and make a real life
 
Rating - 0%
0   0   0
Joined
Mar 14, 2023
Messages
11
First off, I want to say thank you for your service. 23 years in the military is a heck of a commitment, and I can't even begin to imagine the sacrifices you and your family have made.
Since the thread is 5 years old, you've probably made your decision by now. However, if you're still contemplating, have you thought about flipping a coin? Before you dismiss this as too simplistic, hear me out. Go flip a coin. Assign one option to heads and the other to tails. As soon as the coin lands, gauge your immediate emotional reaction. Are you relieved? Disappointed? Your gut response could give you insight into what you really want.
 
Last edited:
Top