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Air Traffic Controller

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Long Island NY
In 1978 I was a trainee Air Traffic Controller under supervision at Collage Station Texas, Easterwood Tower. This is a true story of a radio discussion one afternoon:

Unknown Aircraft: "Hello?.."
Easterwood Tower (me): "Please say again."
UA: "What?"
ET: "Who is this?"
UA: "This is Joe"
ET: "This is Easterwood Tower, where are you?"
UA: "I'm in the plane!"
(I looked down the flight line, checking if someone was sitting in a parked plane playing with the radio. I didn't see anything, and the senior controller was becoming more interested in my handling of the situation.)
ET: "Joe, where is the pilot?"
UA: "He got out when the engine quit.."
(I could only imagine a bizarre scenario in which the pilot had jumped from the plane.)
ET: "Joe, what does your airspeed indicator read?"
UA: (Long pause) "Zero?"
(So the plane was now in a stall I thought.)
ET: "Joe, whatever you have in front of you - a stick or a steering wheel - push it forward - you need to get airspeed over your wings!"
UA: "Are you sure?"
ET: "Yes Joe you need to push it forward... (pause)... What does your airspeed indicator read now?"
UA: "It's still zero."
(I thought, oh my god, Joe's plane was in a falling leaf spin. I couldn't help him. Joe was going to die. I did not know what to do. I looked to the senior controller. He said, "Ask him where his plane is.")
ET: "Joe, where is your plane?"
UA: "We are parked down at the end of the runway, the pilot got out when the engine quit and walked back to the hanger.."
ET: "Joe, get off the radio."
 
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Sep 29, 2010
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Location
Charlotte, N.C.
Ha! good one.

I heard this exchange when calling to get my clearance for a flight out of Charlotte about 10 years ago:
the bonanza pilot spoke ins a very very slow texas drawl. The controller was obviously from the NY/NJ area for his accent and spoke at the usual 900 mile an hour Northeast controller speed"

"Bonanza n1234x charlotte clearance"
"Bonanza n1234x Charlotte, are you ready to copy clearence"
(pregnant pause)
"34x charlotte, roger"

"N1234clearedviacharlottebravodeparture-(then proceeded to give the rest of the clearance which was really long talking as fast as he could without taking a breath-think disclaimer at the end of a car ad speed and about a minute long)

really pregnant pause

"Charlotte clearance, 34xray ..... I'm from Texas, and write slower than I talk, could you give me that clearance over please?"
 
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Feb 27, 2012
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Location
Seattle, Wa
LOL to Surfrod55 and Flyboy, both are great.

I go to the Boeing Air Museum here in Seattle all the time, and they have one area where you can listen in on the air traffic. I swear, I can't understand any of it! I would definitely be the Texan, lol.
 
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