What's new
  • BOTL UPCOMING MAINTENANCE

    Hi Everyone, as mentioned in my introduction post, BOTL needs quite a bit of updating, patching and whatever else I might come across. Over the next few weekends BOTL may be unreachable on occasion as I do migrations or updates, etc. Just be patient - we'll be back! I'll generally try to keep these maintenances until later in the evenings.

Colonoscopies

blessednxs65

Is it Nicaraguan
Rating - 100%
33   0   0
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
2,933
Location
Tracy, CA
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

12. "NOW I know why I am not gay."

And the best one of all..

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"
 

caudio51

BoM Nov '05; Mar '06
Rating - 96%
32   1   0
Joined
Mar 24, 2005
Messages
19,935
Location
Jersey
:rofl:

I've had one, the exam is cake (I was knocked out). The prep, got a lot of reading done!
 

Hendy

BoM Oct 08 / BoM Oct 09
Rating - 100%
575   0   0
Joined
Jan 2, 2008
Messages
5,681
Location
Here
Too Funny

Had my first done not too long ago. Wish I had this material to go there with.
 
Rating - 100%
9   0   0
Joined
Jan 23, 2008
Messages
419
I agree with caudio, the exam itself was no trouble. The day before with prep is the real fun!
 
Rating - 100%
23   0   0
Joined
Dec 18, 2004
Messages
410
Location
NY
I agree with caudio, the exam itself was no trouble. The day before with prep is the real fun!
the joke is so funny!!!!!

Yeah tell me about it....As night RN at a large hospital, we give the golytely prep - sometimes as much as 4-8 gallons that the patient must drink all of - the night before, causing him or her to have numerous bathroom trips. then theres the a possibility of an soap sud enema in the morning if not clear.

simple yes? No...the ambulatory patient can't sleep despite a potent sleeping pill. Older men could not hold it on the way to the bathroom...so guess who cleans up?

Think of the degree of difficulty, if the patient cannot even get up to go to the bathroom or cannot swallow much less drink 4- 8 gallons of that stuff.

Sometimes the MD has no choice .....but I think patients who are older should be told about the preparation explicitly prior to signing consent. I always tell the patients if I can help it before the doctor comes in to get consent from the patient and family..... much to the dismay of the Doctor. But thats just me...I don't give a rat's ass about a doctor who does not give a rat's ass about his patient.

but thats just me..
 

jfsjazz

Don Lupini
Rating - 100%
5   0   0
Joined
Aug 29, 2006
Messages
79
I've a had a couple now. For the last one, I added a slight twist to the doctor's orders. The night before my prep day, I drank 5 Budweisers along with the over the counter cleaner that was prescribed. No late might snack. The next day, I followed the standard prerp procedures. By the time the day was over, I was passing distilled water, ready for bottling; I felt brand new!

Results were good, so I grabbed a double cheeseburger and went back to work!
 

Hendy

BoM Oct 08 / BoM Oct 09
Rating - 100%
575   0   0
Joined
Jan 2, 2008
Messages
5,681
Location
Here
It's not bad at all. The prep is shitty....:grin:
HAHA:rofl:

I would make sure you are close to the can.

I took the drink all day and didn't think it was going to work. Then all of a sudden, all hell broke loose. Get some good reads, you'll need them.

Chow
 

CWS

<b>Lead Moderator</b>
Rating - 100%
227   0   0
Joined
Feb 8, 2006
Messages
17,527
Location
West coast
Necessary evil and I agree it was not that bad. Read the instruction on the prep though. NO RED JELLO.:nodlaugh: Thar she blows.
 
Rating - 100%
9   0   0
Joined
Jan 23, 2008
Messages
419
Yea, I thought about just taking the TV and the PS2 (at the time) into the throne room and just camp out.

I know in my case you could have shined a flashlight up my ass and seen it come out my eyeballs.

-Hunter
 
Top