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Craig's list post -Wall Street Analysis of Gold

caudio51

BoM Nov '05; Mar '06
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Messages
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Location
Jersey
THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST
What am I doing wrong?


Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.

*it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or
other commercial interests

PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.
 

dpricenator

BoM March 08
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Jul 25, 2007
Messages
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Location
The OC
F that Gold diggn Whore.

II had a scam of a way to get this kind girl home with me back in the day. Before we would go out to the club, I would go to a popular ATM machine and look through the receiptss in the trash. You find a couple with 30k to 100k balances oon them. And use those receipts to write you phone nu,mber on when you are talking to a girl. If she didn't notice right then, she wiould have the next day and it was a done deal at that point. Stupid hoes.
 

caudio51

BoM Nov '05; Mar '06
Rating - 96%
32   1   0
Joined
Mar 24, 2005
Messages
19,935
Location
Jersey
F that Gold diggn Whore.

II had a scam of a way to get this kind girl home with me back in the day. Before we would go out to the club, I would go to a popular ATM machine and look through the receiptss in the trash. You find a couple with 30k to 100k balances oon them. And use those receipts to write you phone nu,mber on when you are talking to a girl. If she didn't notice right then, she wiould have the next day and it was a done deal at that point. Stupid hoes.
:rofl:

That's great
 
Rating - 100%
206   0   0
Joined
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Messages
6,454
Location
Idaho
My advice to this girl ...

1. Learn how to give great oral sex and always swallow.
2. Learn to enjoy your bisexual side
3. Be willing to sign a pre-nup

... you will have them beating a path to your door.
 
Rating - 100%
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Joined
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Messages
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Location
near Orlando, FL
saw that in a email i got yesterday. if it is real, what a stupid bitch I hope she finds someone that treats her like chit and throws her to the side. good job on the guys part though.
 

cvm4

BoM - July '05 & Dec. '10
Rating - 100%
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Joined
Dec 13, 2004
Messages
22,035
Location
Jackson, MS
I don't know if she can be considered a depreciating asset. I'd say she'd be more like a sunk cost. Because he's never getting that money back she spent!
 
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