A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.* After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, I'm so sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.
The distressed owner wailed, Are you sure?
Yes, I am sure.* The duck is dead, he replied.
How can you be so sure? she protested.* I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. *He might just be in a coma or something.
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador retriever.* As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the duck.* He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.* The vet patted the dog, took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat.* The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot.* The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100 percent certifiably, a dead duck.
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.* The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. £150! she cried.* £150 just to tell me my duck is dead?
The vet shrugged.* I'm sorry.* If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the lab report and the cat scan, it's now £150.
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The distressed owner wailed, Are you sure?
Yes, I am sure.* The duck is dead, he replied.
How can you be so sure? she protested.* I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. *He might just be in a coma or something.
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador retriever.* As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the duck.* He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.* The vet patted the dog, took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat.* The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot.* The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100 percent certifiably, a dead duck.
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.* The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. £150! she cried.* £150 just to tell me my duck is dead?
The vet shrugged.* I'm sorry.* If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the lab report and the cat scan, it's now £150.
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