Did they really say that?

[strife]

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton ."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, when asked why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care."

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

14. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips, when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye.."

15. Bobby Bowden , Florida States football coach, when asked why he didn't invest in condos, said, "I am too old to use them."

16. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious!

 

[Andytex]

that stuff is way to funny.lmao:laugh:

 

[WhiteLightning]

:rofl:

I needed that laugh.

Thanks Mike!

 

[n.olson]

haha! love it. okemyeye

 

[goin' fer smoke]

Here's a few more for you!

Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator
"This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother."

David Coleman
"Moses Kiptanui - the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago"

Murray Walker
"We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite"

RTE's George Hamilton on Spain manager Luis Suarez's substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier with Ireland in Seville,1992
"He's pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!"

Crystal Palace chairman Ron Noades, speaking in 1991
"The black players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and flair, but you also need white players in there to balance things up and give the team some brains and some common sense."

Ian Rush
On the difficulties of adjusting to playing football and living in Italy: "It was like being in a foreign country"

John Arlott
"Bill Frindal has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator"

Peter Lorenzo
"Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds - totally against the run of play"

Ian McNail
"We actually got the winner three minutes from the end but then they equalized"

Winston Bennett
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body"

Murray Walker
"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical"

Greg Norman
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father"

Alan Minter
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious"

John Francombe
"The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball"

Terry Venables
"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again"

Noel O' Mahony, Cork City boss before the game in Munich
"We'll still be happy if we lose. It's on at the same time as the Beer Festival"

Ron Atkinson
"I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better."

Ron Atkinson
"He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces."

Ron Atkinson
"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat."

Ian Wright - commenting on his teammate's alcoholism
"It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up."

Harry Carpenter - BBC TV Boat Race 1977
Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew."

David Vine
"Here we are in the Holy Land of Israel - a Mecca for tourists."

David Coleman
"Morcelli has four fastest 1500-metre times ever. And all those times are at 1500 metres."

Metro Radio
"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

David Coleman
"Her time is about 4.33, which she's capable of."

Chris Eubank, replying to "Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?":
"On what ?"

Grand National winning jockey Mark Fitzgerald.
"Sex is an anti-climax after that !"

Ruud Gullit
"To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch."

Ron Atkinson
"Well , either side could win it, or it could be a draw."

John Motson
"For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip"

David Acfield
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."

Stuart Hall - Radio 5 live
"What will you do when you leave football, Jack - will you stay in football?"

Mark Draper - Aston Villa
"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona"

David Coleman at The Montreal Olympics
"There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class"

David Coleman at the start of Match of The Day
"And for those of you who watched the last programme (Fanny and Johnny Craddock), I hope all your doughnuts turn out like Fanny's"

John Arlott
"...and Ray Illingworth is relieving himself in front of the pavilion"

Gary McCord on the greens at Augusta
"These greens are so fast they must bikini wax them"

David Coleman
"This evening is a very different evening from the morning that we had this morning"

Murray Walker
"...and Mark Blundell stops with his front wheels stationary"

Radio 5 Live: Jeremy Vine:
"So your autobiography is out in paperback. What's it about?"

Radio 1: Simon Bates:
"So your name's Mohammed? That's one of the most popular Christian names in the world."

USTV commentator
"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them - Oh my God, what have I just said?"

 

[goin' fer smoke]

Here's a few more for you!

Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator
"This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother."

David Coleman
"Moses Kiptanui - the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago"

Murray Walker
"We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite"

RTE's George Hamilton on Spain manager Luis Suarez's substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier with Ireland in Seville,1992
"He's pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!"

Crystal Palace chairman Ron Noades, speaking in 1991
"The black players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and flair, but you also need white players in there to balance things up and give the team some brains and some common sense."

Ian Rush
On the difficulties of adjusting to playing football and living in Italy: "It was like being in a foreign country"

John Arlott
"Bill Frindal has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator"

Peter Lorenzo
"Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds - totally against the run of play"

Ian McNail
"We actually got the winner three minutes from the end but then they equalized"

Winston Bennett
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body"

Murray Walker
"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical"

Greg Norman
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father"

Alan Minter
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious"

John Francombe
"The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball"

Terry Venables
"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again"

Noel O' Mahony, Cork City boss before the game in Munich
"We'll still be happy if we lose. It's on at the same time as the Beer Festival"

Ron Atkinson
"I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better."

Ron Atkinson
"He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces."

Ron Atkinson
"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat."

Ian Wright - commenting on his teammate's alcoholism
"It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up."

Harry Carpenter - BBC TV Boat Race 1977
Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew."

David Vine
"Here we are in the Holy Land of Israel - a Mecca for tourists."

David Coleman
"Morcelli has four fastest 1500-metre times ever. And all those times are at 1500 metres."

Metro Radio
"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

David Coleman
"Her time is about 4.33, which she's capable of."

Chris Eubank, replying to "Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?":
"On what ?"

Grand National winning jockey Mark Fitzgerald.
"Sex is an anti-climax after that !"

Ruud Gullit
"To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch."

Ron Atkinson
"Well , either side could win it, or it could be a draw."

John Motson
"For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip"

David Acfield
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."

Stuart Hall - Radio 5 live
"What will you do when you leave football, Jack - will you stay in football?"

Mark Draper - Aston Villa
"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona"

David Coleman at The Montreal Olympics
"There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class"

David Coleman at the start of Match of The Day
"And for those of you who watched the last programme (Fanny and Johnny Craddock), I hope all your doughnuts turn out like Fanny's"

John Arlott
"...and Ray Illingworth is relieving himself in front of the pavilion"

Gary McCord on the greens at Augusta
"These greens are so fast they must bikini wax them"

David Coleman
"This evening is a very different evening from the morning that we had this morning"

Murray Walker
"...and Mark Blundell stops with his front wheels stationary"

Radio 5 Live: Jeremy Vine:
"So your autobiography is out in paperback. What's it about?"

Radio 1: Simon Bates:
"So your name's Mohammed? That's one of the most popular Christian names in the world."

USTV commentator
"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them - Oh my God, what have I just said?"

 

[edogg]

Hehe very funny