> "Excerpts from a Dog's Diary"
>
>
> 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>
>
> "Excerpts from a Cat's Diary"
>
>
> Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
> little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
> other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although
> I
make my
> contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat
> something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps
> me going is
my
> dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on
the
> carpet.
>
>
> Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I
> had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
> demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending
> comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The Bastards!!
There
> was
> some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in
> solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear
> the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due
to
> the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use
it
> to my advantage.
>
>
> Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
> tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this
> again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that
the
> other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives
special
> privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than
willing
> to
> return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant.
I
> observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that
he
> reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for
him
> in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...
>
>
>
> 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
>
>
> 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>
>
> "Excerpts from a Cat's Diary"
>
>
> Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
> little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
> other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although
> I
make my
> contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat
> something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps
> me going is
my
> dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on
the
> carpet.
>
>
> Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I
> had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
> demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending
> comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The Bastards!!
There
> was
> some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in
> solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear
> the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due
to
> the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use
it
> to my advantage.
>
>
> Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
> tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this
> again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that
the
> other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives
special
> privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than
willing
> to
> return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant.
I
> observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that
he
> reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for
him
> in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...
>
