Greg
BoM October 2006
A guy buys a used motorcycle. He gets a good price on it because the finish is not in great shape. The seller warns him that to avoid rust, he must make sure that he applies a light coat of Vaseline to it, if it looks like it is going to rain.
That same day, the guy is going to meet his girlfriend's family for the first time. He picks her up on his motorcycle. On the way over, his girlfriend warns him that her family is a little weird, with odd customs: "Whatever you do," she says, "do NOT speak during dinner. Anyone who talks during dinner, even a syllable, has to wash the dishes."
So they get to the house. The guy is totally not prepared for what he sees. It's a big house, and it is covered, floor to ceiling, in dirty dishes. There are dirty dishes on the bookshelves, on the furniture, dirty dishes in the chandeliers, in the fireplace. The floor is covered with dirty dishes except for small footpaths that have been cleared.
So they sit down to dinner, and, not surprisingly, no one says a word. After about 15 minutes, the guy realizes something: He can do anything he wants, because no one will raise a word of criticism. He can do ANYTHING. And he's feeling a little horny. So he gets up from the table, walks over to his girlfriend, pulls her from the table, lays her on the floor, and ... has sex with her! Right there. On the floor.
They finish, get back to the table, and no one says a word. The guy is pretty pleased with himself. About 15 minutes later, he's still feelin' a little spunky, so he grabs his girlfriend's mother, and does the same thing to her, RIGHT ON THE TABLE.
No one says a word.
About five minutes later, the guy looks out the window, and sees that it's starting to rain.
He says: "Does anyone have any Vaseline?"
And the girlfriend's father leaps up and says, "It's okay! I'll do the dishes!"
That same day, the guy is going to meet his girlfriend's family for the first time. He picks her up on his motorcycle. On the way over, his girlfriend warns him that her family is a little weird, with odd customs: "Whatever you do," she says, "do NOT speak during dinner. Anyone who talks during dinner, even a syllable, has to wash the dishes."
So they get to the house. The guy is totally not prepared for what he sees. It's a big house, and it is covered, floor to ceiling, in dirty dishes. There are dirty dishes on the bookshelves, on the furniture, dirty dishes in the chandeliers, in the fireplace. The floor is covered with dirty dishes except for small footpaths that have been cleared.
So they sit down to dinner, and, not surprisingly, no one says a word. After about 15 minutes, the guy realizes something: He can do anything he wants, because no one will raise a word of criticism. He can do ANYTHING. And he's feeling a little horny. So he gets up from the table, walks over to his girlfriend, pulls her from the table, lays her on the floor, and ... has sex with her! Right there. On the floor.
They finish, get back to the table, and no one says a word. The guy is pretty pleased with himself. About 15 minutes later, he's still feelin' a little spunky, so he grabs his girlfriend's mother, and does the same thing to her, RIGHT ON THE TABLE.
No one says a word.
About five minutes later, the guy looks out the window, and sees that it's starting to rain.
He says: "Does anyone have any Vaseline?"
And the girlfriend's father leaps up and says, "It's okay! I'll do the dishes!"
