Drinking Stories

[danthebugman]

Can't believe there isn't already a thread for this :scratchhe :dunno:. Anyway, we all have them and love to tell them. Let's her your drinking stories fellas!

I'll lead in with this little gem...group of guys went out to our local haunt for $1 draws. We were celebrating something, can't remember what and it's not really important. Early in the evening the bar tender Jamie was going around tazing people in the ass cheek with a cattle prod...just for fun. Packed enough wallop to set you down :crosseyed. So fast forward and we're leaving for the night...I walk past the bar, stop, spread my legs about shoulder width apart and yell "Jamie...taze me". She thinks I'm kidding at first, but then realizes I'm wasted and very serious about this whole thing. So my friend Cody gets on one side and my friend Aaron on another (cause you can always count on friends to help you do stupid shit :thumbsup and Jamie thrusts the cattle prod into my junk. I withstood the first round, but the second burst crumpled me into the floor.

Dan

 

[Docbp87]

Went to a small gathering (15 or so people) once at an apartment belonging to a friend of a friend. I took a few girls and one other guy with me. We got there, got trashed, and were all just hanging out, over the spread of a few rooms. After a few hours of drinking and just chilling, listening to music, I was called into the bathroom, rather I heard someone yelling my name, so I strolled in, and saw the owner of the apartment, one of the girls I came with, and a big buck knife. He proceeded to say something about how awesome and sharp his new knife was, and slashed her leg pretty badly. Cut was about six inches long, and deep enough that the meat was sort of separating in a puckering shape. Needless to say, that was one of those "sobering moments" and I immediately grabbed the knife from the crazy fucker and tossed it in the tub, then threw him out of the bathroom onto the floor. My buddy (the other guy that came with me) and I proceeded to do our best to keep pressure on the cut, and soak up the mess with whatever was around. Fortunately, I work for Rite Aid, and there was a Rite Aid Pharmacy a block away. I ran down to it, happened to know the pharmacist on duty, and told him I had a medical emergency, and needed a few things. He just threw them at me and let me leave. Ran back to the place, and made a pretty badass (if I do say so myself) tourniquet and bandage, piled the bloody chick in my truck, and drove her to the ER. Unfortunately, I then had to spend the next 5 hours in the ER, getting quizzed by cops who assumed I was the one who cut her, and that I was some psycho. Finally she told them what had happened, etc. And they stitched her up.

Stupidest night of drinking I have ever had. Turns out the kid was whacked out of his mind on clonazepam and demerol, so he had no recollection of doing it, and really wasn't aware of what he was doing when he did it. He's now in jail, for I'm not sure what, and hopefully I will never see him again, for his sake.

 

[funkejj]

At what point do we forget 911 and call a ambulance?

Went to a small gathering (15 or so people) once at an apartment belonging to a friend of a friend. I took a few girls and one other guy with me. We got there, got trashed, and were all just hanging out, over the spread of a few rooms. After a few hours of drinking and just chilling, listening to music, I was called into the bathroom, rather I heard someone yelling my name, so I strolled in, and saw the owner of the apartment, one of the girls I came with, and a big buck knife. He proceeded to say something about how awesome and sharp his new knife was, and slashed her leg pretty badly. Cut was about six inches long, and deep enough that the meat was sort of separating in a puckering shape. Needless to say, that was one of those "sobering moments" and I immediately grabbed the knife from the crazy fucker and tossed it in the tub, then threw him out of the bathroom onto the floor. My buddy (the other guy that came with me) and I proceeded to do our best to keep pressure on the cut, and soak up the mess with whatever was around. Fortunately, I work for Rite Aid, and there was a Rite Aid Pharmacy a block away. I ran down to it, happened to know the pharmacist on duty, and told him I had a medical emergency, and needed a few things. He just threw them at me and let me leave. Ran back to the place, and made a pretty badass (if I do say so myself) tourniquet and bandage, piled the bloody chick in my truck, and drove her to the ER. Unfortunately, I then had to spend the next 5 hours in the ER, getting quizzed by cops who assumed I was the one who cut her, and that I was some psycho. Finally she told them what had happened, etc. And they stitched her up.

Stupidest night of drinking I have ever had. Turns out the kid was whacked out of his mind on clonazepam and demerol, so he had no recollection of doing it, and really wasn't aware of what he was doing when he did it. He's now in jail, for I'm not sure what, and hopefully I will never see him again, for his sake.

 

[Docbp87]

Need gunshots before I'm calling the most expensive taxi in town :kissforeh



Kidding, ambulance man. I think the ambulance is necessary when time becomes a factor. This wasn't a situation where she was going to bleed out on the bathroom floor, and she could wait until we got her to the ER.

 

[Highlander]

Only drinking story I have is it's crazy fun to play xbox (BFBC2 especially) with a bunch of friends when you're 3 sheets to the wind. You can do the "hey guys watch this" stuff and not get hurt, lol.

 

[Andytex]

I'd love to tell some of my stories but I need to wait till statute of limitations runs out on most of them.:skew:

 

[Alwayslit]

Can't believe there isn't already a thread for this :scratchhe :dunno:. Anyway, we all have them and love to tell them. Let's her your drinking stories fellas!

I'll lead in with this little gem...group of guys went out to our local haunt for $1 draws. We were celebrating something, can't remember what and it's not really important. Early in the evening the bar tender Jamie was going around tazing people in the ass cheek with a cattle prod...just for fun. Packed enough wallop to set you down :crosseyed. So fast forward and we're leaving for the night...I walk past the bar, stop, spread my legs about shoulder width apart and yell "Jamie...taze me". She thinks I'm kidding at first, but then realizes I'm wasted and very serious about this whole thing. So my friend Cody gets on one side and my friend Aaron on another (cause you can always count on friends to help you do stupid shit :thumbsup and Jamie thrusts the cattle prod into my junk. I withstood the first round, but the second burst crumpled me into the floor.

Dan

......LOL, love it when alcohol takes away any common sense.:smile:

 

[Treinenwj]

Wow, Doc. Just, wow. I don't think any stories will top that guys stupidity.

 

[danthebugman]

Doc, that's uhm...uh...yeah...wow.

Dan

 

[Baldanders]

Once blacked out and lost 3 days and woke up in a dumpster. Cut way down on my drinking after that.

 

[benday]

I'd love to tell some of my stories but I need to wait till statute of limitations runs out on most of them.:skew:

second this one...i have many navy stories that just shouldn't be spoke of.

 

[Clint]

2 buddies and I went out drinking one night, and man...I was really drunk. Started with 7 & 7's, which escalated to Long Islands, and then I kinda forgot what else! It was nuts.

The next morning we somehow managed to meet for breakfast, I think because we were supposed to play golf or something.

All of us looked like death warmed over! I said, "Guys, I don't remember everything I drank last night, but when I got home, I was so f'd up I blew chunks in the living room."

My friend says, "Dude, that's nothing! I pulled up next to a police car at a red light on the way home. I knew he was looking at me, and I didn't know what to do, so I just started laughing! Somehow passed the sobriety test, but my car was impounded because the tags were expired and I had left my wallet at the last bar we were in."

My other friend says "Are you kidding? That's nothing! I stumbled into my girlfriends house, and was barely awake enough to have sex with her. At least I THOUGHT it was her.....Woke up in her Mom's bed!"

I said "Guys I don't think you understand...Chunks is my dog"

 

[Eddy]

Haha^

I don't have a story as cool or as crazy as most of you.

 

[SergeantStogie]

second this one...i have many navy stories that just shouldn't be spoke of.

Hey Ben, they stopped enforcing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell", so you're all good squid!

 

[AlohaStyle]

Good stories

Sorry, but for me, drinking stories are made to be told when you are sittin' around drinking

I don't think I'll forget the fun day in Esteli last April sitting around with our BOTL group and Pete & Dan. After a full day at the My Father factory, we ended it on the hotel roof deck smoking our 12th, 15th, 17th and some even their 20th cigar of the day, drinking a ton of Nicaraguan beers and cuban rum and telling all our drinking stories! Fun times and crazier stories!?! LOL

 

[danthebugman]

Sorry, but for me, drinking stories are made to be told when you are sittin' around drinking

Sometimes you tell 'em better when you're drinking :thumbsup:.

Dan

 

[Bama46]

Summer 1963, I was movin from Texas to IL by way of Mississippi to visit a cousin. Had my best freind with me.. we were 16. Cousin scored 3 pints of cheap bourbon and we went campin on the river. we all got waaaay drunk but I was in 1st place. After killin my bottle, I found some hot, red wine in the car and drank that.. now I was drunk and sick.
bunch of outlaws came into the camp probably lookin to rob us or whatnot.. all had shotguns and claimed to be huntin wildcats. They shot up the fire and generally raised hell cause we were outta booze, then finally left. I didn't sober up for 3 or 4 days and it was years before I could smell the cork of a bottle of bourbon without gettin sick, but it is alsso the last time I have gone into the woods without a pistol. My friend and cousin and I talk regularly even today about how damned lucky we were that we didn't get killed.

 

[BagfullofPings]

I don't even know where to begin :dunno: