The Irish have solved their fuel shortage problems. They imported 50 Million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own
oil
*********
My mate's missus left him last Thursday, she said she was going out for
a pint of milk and never come back! I asked him how he was coping and he
said 'not bad, I've been using that powdered stuff'
************
The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my
wife. They said "is this your wife sir?". Shocked I answered " yes".
They said "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus". I said "I
know, but she has a lovely personality
***********
Two Irishmen find a mirror in the road. 1st one picks it up and says -
I know this face but I can't put a name to it. 2nd one picks it up and
says - you daft bastard, its me!
**************
After both suffering depression for a while, me and the wife were going
to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed
herself I started to feel a lot better, so I thought what the heck..!
******************
Paddy's in jail. Guard looks in his cell and see's him hanging by his
feet. "What are you doing" he asks. "Hanging myself", Paddy replies. "It
should be round your neck" says the guard."I tried that" says paddy
"but I couldn't breathe"
***************
Two lrishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house - Paddy picks up
a nail, realises it's upside down & throws it away. He carries on doing
this until Murphy says "Why are you throwing them away?" "Because
they're upside down!" says Paddy. "You daft prat," replies Murphy "Save
'em for the ceiling!!"
oil
*********
My mate's missus left him last Thursday, she said she was going out for
a pint of milk and never come back! I asked him how he was coping and he
said 'not bad, I've been using that powdered stuff'
************
The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my
wife. They said "is this your wife sir?". Shocked I answered " yes".
They said "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus". I said "I
know, but she has a lovely personality
***********
Two Irishmen find a mirror in the road. 1st one picks it up and says -
I know this face but I can't put a name to it. 2nd one picks it up and
says - you daft bastard, its me!
**************
After both suffering depression for a while, me and the wife were going
to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed
herself I started to feel a lot better, so I thought what the heck..!
******************
Paddy's in jail. Guard looks in his cell and see's him hanging by his
feet. "What are you doing" he asks. "Hanging myself", Paddy replies. "It
should be round your neck" says the guard."I tried that" says paddy
"but I couldn't breathe"
***************
Two lrishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house - Paddy picks up
a nail, realises it's upside down & throws it away. He carries on doing
this until Murphy says "Why are you throwing them away?" "Because
they're upside down!" says Paddy. "You daft prat," replies Murphy "Save
'em for the ceiling!!"
okemyeye
