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  • BOTL UPCOMING MAINTENANCE

    Hi Everyone, as mentioned in my introduction post, BOTL needs quite a bit of updating, patching and whatever else I might come across. Over the next few weekends BOTL may be unreachable on occasion as I do migrations or updates, etc. Just be patient - we'll be back! I'll generally try to keep these maintenances until later in the evenings.

Post Your Christmas Jokes Here!

smokingIsh

smokingIsh

BoM July '09
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Apr 10, 2007
Messages
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Location
Stringer, Mississippi
I have a clean one and a dirty one:

Clean one:

What do you get when a cat crosses the desert on Christmas eve?

Sandy Claws


Dirty one:

Santa comes down the chimney to find a beautiful blonde wearing a bright red gown holding a tray of cookies and a glass of milk. The lady asks Santa to stay for the night. Santa replies kindly:

"Ho, Ho, Ho,
No I must go,
Got lots of gifts for the little boys and girls you know!"

The blonde simply removes her gown revealing a red lace lingerie and asks Santa if he will reconsider her offer. Santa blushes a little but kindly replies:

"Ho, Ho, Ho,
No I must go,
Got lots of gifts for the little boys and girls you know!"

The blonde, not to take no for an answer removes her lengerie and stands naked holding the cookies and milk and pleads Santa to stay for the night. Santa gulps loudly and replies:

"Hey, Hey, Hey,
Now I have got to stay!
I cant get back up that chiney with my pecker this way!"

Merry Christmas to all!!! :santa:
 
surfish1961

surfish1961

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Jan 27, 2008
Messages
626
Location
South Jersey
The Little Angel on the Top of the Christmas Tree!

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit; this stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out at heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the liquor and there was nothing to drink.

In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffeepot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made of. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the tree.
 
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