Tell Your Lawyer Jokes here ...

[sucol]

I'm always looking for new ones to tell the folks on Grand Jury. I'll start ...

An attractive woman goes in to see her doctor one day. She shuts the consulting room door and draws her chair close. In a hushed voice she asks "Doctor, I have a really embarresing question ..." "What is it?" the doctor asks. "Well" she replies, "I've started a new relationship and I've been having a lot of anal sex." "I see" says the doctor, "Is it causing you pain?" "No" she answers, "I actually enjoy it. It's just that ... this sounds stupid ... but I'm afraid I may get pregnant that way!" The doctor smiles and gives her a reassuring pat. "That's not stupid at all, madam" he replies "Where do you think lawyers come from?"

 

[Slow Burn]

Merry Christmas in Legal Terms

Please accept without obligation, express or implied, these best wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice (but with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or for their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all) and further for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated onset of the generally accepted calendar year (including, but not limited to, the Christian calendar, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures). The preceding wishes are extended without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee(s).

 

[Slow Burn]

one of my favorites....

St. Peter greeted two newcomers at the Pearly Gates. One was a pope; the other was a lawyer. He ushered The Pope to a small shack and settled him in to his austere quarters; then led the lawyer to a huge, luxuriously appointed mansion.

“I don’t understand,” the lawyer puzzled. “That man was a Pope, and you gave him a shack. And yet, you’ve said I am to live in this luxurious, huge mansion. Why?”

“Sir,” said St. Peter. “We’ve had lots and lots of popes, here. But, you, sir, are our very FIRST lawyer.”