... that would be Chuck and Ken,,, oh, okay, Ray is included too (seems he's always being left out....) :grin:
-------------------------------
She very quietly confided to her best friend that she was having an affair.
She turned to her and asked, 'Are you having it catered'?
And that, my friend, is the sad definition of 'OLD'!
.
.
.
.
.
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied: 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'
.
.
.
.
.
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
.
.
.
I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.
.
.
.
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed. 'Why Wal-Mart?'
'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.
.
.
.
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
.
.
It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
.
.
'Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
.
.
THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference.
.
and my favorite one from my Mom and Dad:
"How do we feel about getting old ? ? ? . . . Beats the alternative ! ! !
-------------------------------
She very quietly confided to her best friend that she was having an affair.
She turned to her and asked, 'Are you having it catered'?
And that, my friend, is the sad definition of 'OLD'!
.
.
.
.
.
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied: 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'
.
.
.
.
.
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
.
.
.
I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.
.
.
.
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed. 'Why Wal-Mart?'
'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.
.
.
.
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
.
.
It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
.
.
'Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
.
.
THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference.
.
and my favorite one from my Mom and Dad:
"How do we feel about getting old ? ? ? . . . Beats the alternative ! ! !
