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Two hillbillies walk into a bar...

rabbgp

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Phoenix, AZ
Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whisky, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'

The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the
obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the
Hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.

His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'
 

Cravate

The other Brown Meat.
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A ventriloquist is doing his act in a comedy club in the Ozarks when suddenly an angry Redneck stands up in the crowd, shouting and pointing to the ventriloquist.

"Hey you!", he exclaims angrily, "I dun take kindly to all your jokes that paint us as a bunch of idiots!"

"Sorry, I didn't mean any harm.", the ventriloquist says apologetically.

"Quiet! I ain't taking to ya! I'm talking to the smartass on yer knee!"
 
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