At long last... The Mens Guide to what a woman really means when she says something.
Pay close attention (there might be a quiz later).
You want = You want
We need = I want
Its your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = Youll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure... go ahead = I dont want you to.
Im not upset = Of course Im upset, you moron!
Youre ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
Youre certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?
Im not emotional! And Im not overreacting! = Im on my period.
Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = Im going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today youre really not going to like.
Ill be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me Im beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, youre dead.]
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
Im sorry. = Youll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe? = Its easy to fix, so youd better get used to it.
Was that the baby? = Why dont you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
Im not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
All were going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that were stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
(The answer to "Whats wrong?")
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up
Nothing, really = Its just that youre such an asshole
I dont want to talk about it = Go away, Im still building up steam
Pay close attention (there might be a quiz later).
You want = You want
We need = I want
Its your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = Youll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure... go ahead = I dont want you to.
Im not upset = Of course Im upset, you moron!
Youre ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
Youre certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?
Im not emotional! And Im not overreacting! = Im on my period.
Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = Im going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today youre really not going to like.
Ill be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me Im beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, youre dead.]
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
Im sorry. = Youll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe? = Its easy to fix, so youd better get used to it.
Was that the baby? = Why dont you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
Im not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
All were going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that were stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
(The answer to "Whats wrong?")
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up
Nothing, really = Its just that youre such an asshole
I dont want to talk about it = Go away, Im still building up steam