SkinsFanLarry
Craft Beer Addict!
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2008
- Messages
- 14,355
Urban Dictionary is good for a lot of things. (I’m pretty sure that’s how the world knows what a Donkey Punch is.) They take a stab at defining beer snobs, and I think get pretty close.
Beer Snob:
Those individuals who regard any beer that they do not drink as <insert 4 legged mammal here> piss. Completely ignorant of climate, context, and social class, beer snobs are contemptuously dismissive of any beer that a mortal cannot walk across like Jesus Christ did across the water.
Beer snobs are tedious bores, assuming that any beer which doesn’t meet their definition of “adequately pretentious” is drunk out of ignorance.
“Here, have this Pacifico.”
“I don’t drink goat piss. Give me a Schteupereiner – warm! With a fork and knife!”
“It’s 104 degrees out.”
“So?”
“We don’t have any Schteupereiner. All we have is this, which our daughter brought home from college. It’s some kind of microbrew from Oregon, something called “Neu Dungcastle Pine Chocolate Honey Garlic Walnut Porter.”
“Does it cost at least $12.00 for a six pack?”
“I don’t know. It looks like she just bought the bottle for…it looks like $8.00.”
“Yeah, gimme that. You are philistines, the lot of you! And make sure you give me a room temperature glass! I don’t want any condensation on those chilled glasses you keep around watering down my beer!”
“Here you go!”
“THAT….is a PILSENER GLASS. Are you trying to start shit?”
“You sir, are a motherfucking beer snob – a relentless elitist of poor character and abject dicketry. And now, you die. ENGARDE!”
Beer Snob:
Those individuals who regard any beer that they do not drink as <insert 4 legged mammal here> piss. Completely ignorant of climate, context, and social class, beer snobs are contemptuously dismissive of any beer that a mortal cannot walk across like Jesus Christ did across the water.
Beer snobs are tedious bores, assuming that any beer which doesn’t meet their definition of “adequately pretentious” is drunk out of ignorance.
“Here, have this Pacifico.”
“I don’t drink goat piss. Give me a Schteupereiner – warm! With a fork and knife!”
“It’s 104 degrees out.”
“So?”
“We don’t have any Schteupereiner. All we have is this, which our daughter brought home from college. It’s some kind of microbrew from Oregon, something called “Neu Dungcastle Pine Chocolate Honey Garlic Walnut Porter.”
“Does it cost at least $12.00 for a six pack?”
“I don’t know. It looks like she just bought the bottle for…it looks like $8.00.”
“Yeah, gimme that. You are philistines, the lot of you! And make sure you give me a room temperature glass! I don’t want any condensation on those chilled glasses you keep around watering down my beer!”
“Here you go!”
“THAT….is a PILSENER GLASS. Are you trying to start shit?”
“You sir, are a motherfucking beer snob – a relentless elitist of poor character and abject dicketry. And now, you die. ENGARDE!”
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