CAO Vision Catalyst
- Thread starter tedski
- Start date
Greg
BoM October 2006
I don't know, just read the whole damn thing :rofl:
Greg
BoM October 2006
Here's one post, but I found the entire thread to be amusing:
Posted March 23, 2007 08:33 AM Hide Post
Friday, March 23rd, 2007
Does The CAO Vision Still Suck –
Special Q&A Edition, Part One
Though the CAO Vision does indeed seem to suck, its mere existence has raised a number of intriguing questions. It may not go down in history as one of the world’s great cigars but it does certainly provide food for thought. In part one of what is likely to become a continuing series, our first question comes from salibas007…
Can the empty box be used instead of those annoying neon lights to illuminate the entrance of a striptease club?
This is an excellent question for a number of reasons. First, in order to avert a potential environmental holocaust, it is important that we begin thinking right now about alternative uses for the CAO Vision’s packaging after it has fulfilled its intended purpose.
I contacted both the Sierra Club and Greenpeace but they were unaware of its existence. Al Gore may have some ideas, but he did not return my e-mail in time to make my Friday morning deadline. However, for me at least, the question isn’t only about alternative uses for the box, but also the appropriateness of those uses. For example, you wouldn’t force a noble, retired racehorse into grueling farm work, and certainly, you wouldn’t press the snazzy and oh so tasteful Vision box into distinguished use as part of a stuffy old tea service set.
With that in mind, I had some ideas for “alternative uses” of the Vision box…
E-Z Bake Oven
Pimp cup (CA readers over 40, visit http://www.icedoutgear.com/pimp-cups.php)
Condom holder in frathouse
Dildo holder in whorehouse
Trash can in flophouse
Decoration in funhouse
Voting machine in Florida (modifications necessary)
Spittoon
Frog hunting night-light (if you live near a swamp you know what I mean)
Soapbox derby car
Quack medical device
Movie prop for “Blade Runner 2”
Pinhole camera with built-in flash
Gay attractant (open neon box at any bath house in San Fran, I bet you’ll be mobbed within seconds)
Gag gift (“Look what I got you for your birthday...haha, just kidding, I wouldn’t do that to you, I really got you some Don Kikis…wait, seriously, just kidding…”
Tommy Lee’s work release lunchbox
Hot dog holder for vendors at minor league baseball stadiums (just in time for summer)
UFO
Bug zapper (add your own electrified grid)
Music box (with the addition of iPod loaded with Pink Floyd albums)
Helmet for square-headed freak (check local circus)
Memory box (if your memories consist of blowing your weekly paycheck on whores and crystal meth and videotaping it all)
Blacklite substitute
IQ test (if subject chooses Vision box over anything else in room, refer for evaluation)
Disco-in-a-box
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Humidor
Poodle coffin
Car jack
Anton LeVey’s picnic basket
Christmas tree topper
Hanukkah gift (hey, eight nights of presents, they can’t all be winners)
Lava lamp substitute
Magical money machine (insert any crappy $1 cigar, sell for $12)
World’s smallest casino
Highway flare
Nitelite at that ice hotel I see on TV every winter
Target (bowhunting, trap shooting)
Lighthouse
Stripper/Flavorette hypnotization device
Great gift for The Wizard of Oz (he’s so hard to shop for)
Handsome frame for you and your partners’ “civil union” certificate
But getting back to the original question, I see no reason why the Vision box could not be used to illuminate the entrance of a strip club. In fact, the integrated temperature gauge and hygrometer might also come in handy to help owners or fire marshals gauge the general moistness levels in the club. (Anything above 70% and I’d suggest turning right around and getting the f*ck outta there…
Strangely enough, given its plastic construction, seemingly heat-generating lighting system, the potential for battery leakage and 100% absence of anything resembling Spanish cedar, it would not be ideal for use as a cigar humidor. Go figure.
Keep those questions coming…
And thanks to salibas007 for a very thoughtful and pragmatic opening entry.
Posted March 23, 2007 08:33 AM Hide Post
Friday, March 23rd, 2007
Does The CAO Vision Still Suck –
Special Q&A Edition, Part One
Though the CAO Vision does indeed seem to suck, its mere existence has raised a number of intriguing questions. It may not go down in history as one of the world’s great cigars but it does certainly provide food for thought. In part one of what is likely to become a continuing series, our first question comes from salibas007…
Can the empty box be used instead of those annoying neon lights to illuminate the entrance of a striptease club?
This is an excellent question for a number of reasons. First, in order to avert a potential environmental holocaust, it is important that we begin thinking right now about alternative uses for the CAO Vision’s packaging after it has fulfilled its intended purpose.
I contacted both the Sierra Club and Greenpeace but they were unaware of its existence. Al Gore may have some ideas, but he did not return my e-mail in time to make my Friday morning deadline. However, for me at least, the question isn’t only about alternative uses for the box, but also the appropriateness of those uses. For example, you wouldn’t force a noble, retired racehorse into grueling farm work, and certainly, you wouldn’t press the snazzy and oh so tasteful Vision box into distinguished use as part of a stuffy old tea service set.
With that in mind, I had some ideas for “alternative uses” of the Vision box…
E-Z Bake Oven
Pimp cup (CA readers over 40, visit http://www.icedoutgear.com/pimp-cups.php)
Condom holder in frathouse
Dildo holder in whorehouse
Trash can in flophouse
Decoration in funhouse
Voting machine in Florida (modifications necessary)
Spittoon
Frog hunting night-light (if you live near a swamp you know what I mean)
Soapbox derby car
Quack medical device
Movie prop for “Blade Runner 2”
Pinhole camera with built-in flash
Gay attractant (open neon box at any bath house in San Fran, I bet you’ll be mobbed within seconds)
Gag gift (“Look what I got you for your birthday...haha, just kidding, I wouldn’t do that to you, I really got you some Don Kikis…wait, seriously, just kidding…”
Tommy Lee’s work release lunchbox
Hot dog holder for vendors at minor league baseball stadiums (just in time for summer)
UFO
Bug zapper (add your own electrified grid)
Music box (with the addition of iPod loaded with Pink Floyd albums)
Helmet for square-headed freak (check local circus)
Memory box (if your memories consist of blowing your weekly paycheck on whores and crystal meth and videotaping it all)
Blacklite substitute
IQ test (if subject chooses Vision box over anything else in room, refer for evaluation)
Disco-in-a-box
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Humidor
Poodle coffin
Car jack
Anton LeVey’s picnic basket
Christmas tree topper
Hanukkah gift (hey, eight nights of presents, they can’t all be winners)
Lava lamp substitute
Magical money machine (insert any crappy $1 cigar, sell for $12)
World’s smallest casino
Highway flare
Nitelite at that ice hotel I see on TV every winter
Target (bowhunting, trap shooting)
Lighthouse
Stripper/Flavorette hypnotization device
Great gift for The Wizard of Oz (he’s so hard to shop for)
Handsome frame for you and your partners’ “civil union” certificate
But getting back to the original question, I see no reason why the Vision box could not be used to illuminate the entrance of a strip club. In fact, the integrated temperature gauge and hygrometer might also come in handy to help owners or fire marshals gauge the general moistness levels in the club. (Anything above 70% and I’d suggest turning right around and getting the f*ck outta there…
Strangely enough, given its plastic construction, seemingly heat-generating lighting system, the potential for battery leakage and 100% absence of anything resembling Spanish cedar, it would not be ideal for use as a cigar humidor. Go figure.
Keep those questions coming…
And thanks to salibas007 for a very thoughtful and pragmatic opening entry.
