"There's nothing quite like tobacco: it's the passion of decent folk, and whoever lives without tobacco doesn't deserve to live."
-- Moliere Don Juan, 1665
"There are men here and there to whom the whole of life is like an after-dinner hour with a cigar; easy, pleasant, empty, perhaps enlivened by some fable of strife to be forgotten before the end is told - even if there happens to be any end to it."
-- Joseph Conrad, Lord Jim, 1900
"There's peace in Larranaga, there's calm in Henry Clay,
And a woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke."
-- Rudyard Kipling
"Women are jealous of cigars... they regard them as a strong rival."
-- William Makepeace Thackeray, English Author
"If I paid $10 for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it."
-- George Burns
"If a woman knows a man's preferences, including his preference in cigars, and if a man knows what a woman likes, they will be suitably armed to face one another."
-- Colette, French Author
"My boy! Smoking is one of the greatest and cheapest enjoyments in life, and if you decide in advance not to smoke, I can only feel sorry for you."
-- Sigmund Freud - to his young nephew, Harry, after he declined a cigar
"Smoking is indispensable if one has nothing to kiss."
-- Sigmund Freud
"Cigars after dinner are delightful, smoking before breakfast is unnatural."
-- Bernard Shaw
"Lastly (and this is, perhaps, the golden rule), no woman should marry a man who does not smoke."
-- Robert Louis Stevenson, Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
"Lady Bracknell: Do you smoke?
Earnest: Well, yes, I must admit I smoke.
Lady Bracknell: I am glad to hear it. A man should always have an occupation of some kind."
-- Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest
"If your wife doesn't like the aroma of your cigar - change your wife."
-- Zino Davidoff
"Here, have a cigar. Light it up and be somebody."
-- from the film Pete Kelly's Blues
"By the cigars they smoke, and the composers they love, ye shall know the texture of men's souls."
-- John Galsworthy
"Cognac and cigars... it's like finding the perfect woman. When you've got her, why go chasing after another?"
-- Michael Nouri, Actor
"A good Cuban cigar closes the door to the vulgarities of the world."
-- Franz Liszt, Composer
"The most futile and disastrous day seems well spent when it is reviewed through the blue, fragrant smoke of a Havana Cigar."
-- Evelen Waugh, English writer
"Tobacco is a dirty weed,
I like it
It satisfies no normal need,
I like it
It makes you thin, it makes you lean,
It takes the hair right off your bean
It's the worst damn stuff I've ever seen
I like it."
-- Graham L. Hemminger, Penn State Froth, 1915
"They had no good cigars there, my lord; and I left the place in disgust."
-- Alfred Lord Tennyson, returning from Venice
The cigar is the perfect complement to an elegant lifestyle."
-- George Sand, Pioneer Feminist
"Any cigar smoker is friend, because I know how he feels."
-- Alfred de Musset, George Sand's lover
"Ah, if only I had brought a cigar with me! This would have established my identity."
-- Charles Dickens
"I pledged myself to smoke but one cigar a day. I kept the cigar waiting until bedtime, then I had a luxurious time with it. But desire persecuted me every day and all day long. I found myself hunting for larger cigars...within the month my cigar had grown to such proportions I could have used it as a crutch."
-- Mark Twain, discussing his attempt to cut back on his cigar consumption
"Cigars served me for precisely fifty years as protection and a weapon in the combat of life... I owe to the cigar a great intensification of my capacity to work and a facilitation of my self-control."
-- Sigmund Freud
"That's why I write in so many cigar-smoking heroes and villians who chomp their cigars."
-- Orson Welles, who made "cigar" movies to garner free cigars
"If I had taken my doctor's advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn't have lived to go to his funeral."
-- George Burns
"When they saw me walking down the street smoking a cigar, they'd say, 'Hey, that 14-year-old kid may be going places.' Of course it's also a good prop on the stage... When you can't think of what you are supposed to say next, you take a puff on your cigar until you do think of your next line."
-- George Burns
"The only way to break a bad habit was to replace it with a better habit."
-- Jack Nicholson, explaining why he switched from cigarettes to cigars
"To fully appreciate fine cigars, it's important to recognize the various types of cigars. There are two basic categories of cigar. The lit and unlit."
-- P. Martin Shoemaker, Jeff MacNelly, From the comic strip "Shoe"
"'Dear Mr. Shoemaker: I'd like to enjoy cigar smoking on a regular basis but I find that they burn my tongue. What can I do? Next time try putting the other end in your mouth."
-- from the comic strip Shoe
"A cigar numbs sorrow and fills the solitary hours with a million gracious images."
-- George Sand, 1867
"...I promised myself that if I ever I had some money that I would savor a cigar each day after lunch and dinner. This is the only resolution of my youth that I have kept, and the only realized ambition which has not brought disillusion."
-- Somerset Maugham, The Summing Up
"I am done - pay the bills and get me a cigar."
-- William Makepeace Thackeray, Vanity Fair
