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I could use some parenting advice

VeLoRoK

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Dudes, I've got a bit of a conundrum, a quandary. I'll try to lay this out simply. I don't know what school to enroll my kid in. Here's what I'm looking at:

School A—Disney School, one of the higher rated schools in the city, has given us an offer (meaning we can enroll Theo there). It's not in our neighborhood. In fact, we live at the extreme edge of where they'd bus him in (must be within 6 miles, and we're 5.98 miles away). It's kind of a big deal to get accepted there, and a bunch of my friends are jealous that we can get in. I've heard a lot of negatives about this school, from lack of compassion, to stressful environments, too much emphasis placed on percentiles, not on students.

School B—Brentano, a pretty solid rating (not prestigious, but good) is in our neighborhood, and we are on the wait list (9th place, which the principle says we are pretty much a shoe-in). Parents in the neighborhood rave about how much they love this school, and how the school focuses on more than just test scores and grades.

If I turn down Disney, and don't get Brentano, our closest school, for which we're in the attendance boundary, really sucks. I was really wowed when I toured Brentano today. I think it'd be so much easier to be involved, as it's closer. It'd be easier for Theo to make friends (and us, too) with other classmates, as opposed to all the kids coming in from all over town.

But what if Disney is better? I have a tour there Monday, and I have until midnight that day to accept/decline the offer. But even if it's as good, or better, I wonder if I'd be able to be as active? Would it be the right environment for him?

I'm leaning strongly toward option B, which is why I come to you guys. Is my thinking sound? What would you do? What should I consider that I might be overlooking? I've never done this before, so I'm all ears about whatever you think would help.
 

sean

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Dude, if a school is focused on numbers, then it can be recipe for disaster (teaching to the test, drillkill, monotony, and lack of critical thinking).

We were faced with the same challenge, and went with the school that prioritizes the students' enrichment. This is their first exposure to real school, so better to make it something that won't turn them off right away. All the teachers in our collective family agreed (9, in all).

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What grade is Theo in? Here’s my advice I went to both Public and private prep schools. I went to public elementary schools one was bad and the other was decent. My mom is a teacher and she took me to her middle school where she taught. Even though she was teacher I got shit on so much and hated middle school and was bullied heavily. High school my freshman and sophomore years I went to a large public school and I hated it. I got shit ok again there too and screwed in sports big time. I stood out I dressed nice drove my camaro had the best car in the parking lot but I was one of the nicest friendliness people there. Junior year I had enough of it people throwing donuts at my car etc. so I switched to a private prep school. My gpa went from a 2.5 to a 3.5 in one 9 weeks. I meet some of my best friends and I was in with many kids of the same class and I was probably on the poorer side with some of the kids at this school. Now I’m not saying it has to be the most expensive school my high school was 8k a year I toured a rival prep school that was 15k a year and it was terrible. I got 2 state championships in hockey from my private school and 20+ golf offers. My old high school coach couldn’t believe me when I said that because I was 5 man varsity but I never got a chance to play and I was better then the 1 man but it was all about who you are and what’s your last name. That’s how high school is all about who you are. When picking a school you need to look at schools the step above ( middle,high) because he’s gonna want to go where his friends are going when it comes that time.
 

VeLoRoK

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It sounds like you have reasoned this out as logically as possible and your reasoning is sound. I honestly don't think that another opinion is needed or would be helpful. Go with what you know is the right decision already and don't second guess.
My logic is not always very sound. Hence, I like to get other opinions.
 
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This'll be kindergarten.
I went to private school K-6. It gave me a good basis and I was 2nd in my class in 6th grade but at the same time I hated not having friends in the same area. I did plenty of individual sports but firmly told my parents that I wanted to attend public school there after.

We moved to NJ and I got my wish. It was a tough transition but the school district was very good. I later moved to San Mateo school districts in ju sophomore year of high school. I basically cruised through high school and wanted very little interaction with it. I went for 2.5 years to private University then transferred to the University of Utah in my junior year as my father went there. Truly I loved both Universities.

Now my SIL is in Orlando, and I knowI-95 is the educational road to hell heading South. I know Winter Park isn’t horrible, but she se de her kids to catholic school because the Orlando public schools aren’t very good.

She works with at risk youth with disabilities and has plenty of business in that 4 county area .

In the e d, it’s what you child can handle and adapt to. How much help he receives at home and from after school activities.

My siblings went to public schools. 2 did fine the other did not. 2 out of my 3 children did not but with my ex-wife raising them it’s not unexpected. From those two my oldest daughter can take any bad situation and flip it very quickly.

It’s so based on personality of the child. They may love private school or they may resent it, you just never know. Best of luck in the decision.


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Boudie

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Kindergarten, consider what is convenient for you. There will be a lot of "drop what you doing and come get your kid" phone calls, you want to be active and familiar with the teachers. Making friends that can do sleepovers is important. Unless selection of your Kindergarten is going to affect the college your child attends you can worry about the stress of achievement a couple of years down the road. At this age I think learning the basics and some social skills is most important.
 
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Not much advice I can offer on what you're asking - but, as my daughter is currently in her 3rd public school district, I have seen that some schools make it much easier for the parents to be involved, and do a much better job of communicating what's going on at school, and the kids' progress and struggles. If you want to be involved in your kiddo's education, then the extent to which the school communicates with parents can make it very easy, or nearly impossible for you to do so.
 
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If Disney is that hard to get into then you will here a bunch of bad things about it. People talk crap about things they can’t have/get into. If it’s the best, then it’s the best for a reason. If you are going to try and go Ivy League then start now. It seems crazy this young but one school gets you into the next.
 

Unpossible_1

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I have a different take on this. You go with what is the best fit for your family situation; ie schedule, location, cost, exc. If it causes a lot of extra stress on the parents, kids pick up on this. Numbers are nice and will always paint the prettiest picture for the school broadcasting them. But numbers do not show the whole picture either. Some schools teach just the testing to boost their scores, but some schools do not.

Bottom line is it is just Kindergarten, so you can always change schools. I went to a different school district for Kindergarten, 1st, 2nd and 3rd and up were one district. I had gained the additional benefits of learning how to adapt to change, which is a huge boon as an adult.

Just a couple of my takes. Good luck, and don't drive yourself crazy with making the decision! :D
 

VeLoRoK

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I have a different take on this. You go with what is the best fit for your family situation; ie schedule, location, cost, exc. If it causes a lot of extra stress on the parents, kids pick up on this. Numbers are nice and will always paint the prettiest picture for the school broadcasting them. But numbers do not show the whole picture either. Some schools teach just the testing to boost their scores, but some schools do not.

Bottom line is it is just Kindergarten, so you can always change schools. I went to a different school district for Kindergarten, 1st, 2nd and 3rd and up were one district. I had gained the additional benefits of learning how to adapt to change, which is a huge boon as an adult.

Just a couple of my takes. Good luck, and don't drive yourself crazy with making the decision! :D
The chances of getting a lottery slot after kindergarten are practically nil. Once you're in, you're in, but if it ain't kindergarten you ain't getting in. It's the little things like that fact that gives me reservations.
 
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There’s nothing wrong with changing schools too you never know unless you try it. I would maybe start with A and if it didn’t go well switch to B. Like said above people will always be jealous and say bad things about schools and objects that can’t have. I’ve dealt with that my whole life.
 
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I'd go with B. Kindergarten today is not what kindergarten was when I went. The kids will be learning academics and sitting a lot rather than learning to get along and having nap time. They definitely feel the stress the teachers feel with tests and grades and percentiles at a young age. Starting off, most of the tykes just want to make the adults happy so to see kindergartners and first graders stressed sucks.
That's my opinion anyway. Go with the school that helps the kids. They'll grow and learn happier, argue and stress less.
My two are now 5th and 7th grade, it wasn't that long ago we had similar discussions. Good luck BOTL.
 
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