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Let's Talk, BOTL and mental health

StogieFisher

Trolling troll is trolling.
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Good to know you're okay brother! I deal with this as well (social anxiety too) and was covering it up with my drinking for a while. Now that I've put that problem to pasture, I'm learning new ways to manage.
I have the same issues and have dealt with it by drinking too, been working on cutting back when Im out n about though sometimes still drink too much.
 

VeLoRoK

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I need to spend some time reading this post. Man, i don't know if it's getting older (i turn 40 fucking years old on Thursday), living in three states in the last five years, being married, or being a stay-at-home dad, but i have become quite socially anxious/disconnected in the last five years.

The only time/place i feel like my normal self is in an AA meeting, and with the boy i only get to one or two meetings a week.
 

FocusONToNY

To smoke is human , to smoke cigars is divine !
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Ok, so I know I'm going out on a bit of a limb here, but please hear me out.

Today, February 12th, has been designated as "Let's Talk" day up here in Canada. The focus is on men's mental health.

I was reading some statistics and it said that somewhere in the neighborhood of 10-15% of men have issues with either depression, suicidal thoughts, mental illness or some other form of issue. Unfortunately, given our nature, these often go undiagnosed and untreated, as the stigma that is attached to 'asking for help' outweighs our desire to deal with the issues.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that the membership of this site is approximately 99% male. If the statistics I read are even close to accurate, that means that on any given day, there are somewhere in the range of a hundred active brothers here who are having these types of problems.

What I would like to do is offer up this thread and/or my own time to help anyone who may fall in to this category. For those who don't know, I am a 911 dispatcher and through my line of work, end up talking to people with all types of issues on a daily basis. For ANY member here who feels they need someone to talk to, or wants to reach out for help, or just needs an ear to vent to about whatever issues they may be having, PLEASE feel free to send me a PM at any time day or night, or email me at brentclayton at gmail dot com. Do it anonymously if you feel more comfortable that way, but please, don't feel like there is no one that cares and you're all alone with whatever it is you're going through. I can't promise that I will always have all the answers, but what I can vow is the following. Your conversations with me will ALWAYS be 100% confidential, and not shared with anyone whatsoever.

Thanks for taking a few moments of your time to think about this issue.
Brent
Great idea brent and again thank you !
 
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I need to spend some time reading this post. Man, i don't know if it's getting older (i turn 40 fucking years old on Thursday), living in three states in the last five years, being married, or being a stay-at-home dad, but i have become quite socially anxious/disconnected in the last five years.

The only time/place i feel like my normal self is in an AA meeting, and with the boy i only get to one or two meetings a week.
I hear ya! My youngest son has probably been to every AA mtg where we live. I even started one in our small town! I have to watch the "isolation".....sometimes I can feel isolated even in AA. Spent too much of my life trying to be a "part of"......can't afford to feel not a "part of" in AA. I need 2 to 3 mtgs a week. But getting older and more tired, sometimes I can't make it. Then I need to pick up the phone, etc, etc. Hang in there.
C
 

3/5King

Shwing!
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Wouldn't you like to know, IL
I need to spend some time reading this post. Man, i don't know if it's getting older (i turn 40 fucking years old on Thursday), living in three states in the last five years, being married, or being a stay-at-home dad, but i have become quite socially anxious/disconnected in the last five years.

The only time/place i feel like my normal self is in an AA meeting, and with the boy i only get to one or two meetings a week.
work on your steps my friend. AA works if you work it. If you are having troubles outside of AA, it is a good indicator that you need to refocus and remember what you've learned.
**Read the steps and re-evaluate where you need to refocus**
**what other people think is none of your business**
**talk to your sponser**

It's not your fault my friend, don't be ashamed of your life and don't think that everyone else is living a normal life. You don't need to be understood, you just need to be happy. You are sober today and that my friend is an amazing thing. You are more than you think and inferior to no one. Life gets crazy.. refocus. Count your blessings and get back to the beginning. Remember when you started working the program and you really began to feel good about yourself and comfortable in your own skin? Start there and be humble in your journey. We are here for you and we are here for all brothers. We are next to you at the checkout line and sitting next to you in traffic. Don't feel so closed off, you are surrounded by brothers even when you don't know it.
 
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This thread is amazing. I'm new here and to the entire cigar world, but certainly not a stranger to mental health or addiction issues. AA for 2.5 years now and medicated for the mental stuff. Lol. I'm here for anyone who needs it as well. We could all use an ear every now and then. Thank you brothers!

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nc_6789

Nick
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Haven't really been active the past few days, been dealing with some anxiety issues but it seems to be under control again, I do it to myself smh can't handle excess caffeine anymore, took me out for a few days, send some positive vibes my way if you don't mind guys!
 
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Positive vibes sent. I know I had to cut way back on the caffeine myself. After my morning coffee I have none. Even my tea is decaf. Lol.

Glad you made it to the other side.

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sofc

I hate E and Chef
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Haven't really been active the past few days, been dealing with some anxiety issues but it seems to be under control again, I do it to myself smh can't handle excess caffeine anymore, took me out for a few days, send some positive vibes my way if you don't mind guys!
done.
 

VeLoRoK

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Haven't really been active the past few days, been dealing with some anxiety issues but it seems to be under control again, I do it to myself smh can't handle excess caffeine anymore, took me out for a few days, send some positive vibes my way if you don't mind guys!
Hey, just remember to not beat yourself up. That's a good way to keep in an anxiety pit. It's OK to have anxiety. You're doing OK. Glad you're back with us.
 
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Haven't really been active the past few days, been dealing with some anxiety issues but it seems to be under control again, I do it to myself smh can't handle excess caffeine anymore, took me out for a few days, send some positive vibes my way if you don't mind guys!
You're good brother! (y) In my experience, anxiety is a function of staying "in my head" when I could be doing something for someone else. The more I think about my own problems, the worse I make them. :facepalm:
 

FocusONToNY

To smoke is human , to smoke cigars is divine !
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Haven't really been active the past few days, been dealing with some anxiety issues but it seems to be under control again, I do it to myself smh can't handle excess caffeine anymore, took me out for a few days, send some positive vibes my way if you don't mind guys!
Nick hope everything is OK and you're feeling better !
 
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Nick,
Stay busy buddy, idle mind makes the anxiety all the worse. Do anything, clean the house, car, just do anything n if that " I'm going to die feeling comes, respond w fine take me. Don't fight it with thinking about it. Divert your mind to some robotic thing Like cleaning, don't just sit and ponder.
You'll survive buddy, you ever want to talk message me, n we'll talk via phone, my N.J. bro;)(y)
 

nc_6789

Nick
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Really appreciating all of the positive words brothers, seriously I did. It expect this at all even knowing how great this place is. Thanks again for all of your support, I'm doing my best to stay out of my head and just go on with my normal activities which has helped a lot.
 
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