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BOTL UPCOMING MAINTENANCE
Hi Everyone, as mentioned in my introduction post, BOTL needs quite a bit of updating, patching and whatever else I might come across. Over the next few weekends BOTL may be unreachable on occasion as I do migrations or updates, etc. Just be patient - we'll be back! I'll generally try to keep these maintenances until later in the evenings.
My last cigar.
- Thread starter eastcoast paul
- Start date
Jfire
BoM 9/9' 9/11' 8/12'
Lot better guys out there than myself.
I bust my ass in a dangerous line of work, to give my family everything they need and want for nothing.
I'm home as much as I can be. Try to help father a 2.5 year old and a newborn. When ever needed. Playtime, bottle feedings diaper changes etc.
I try to give my wife a night out every now and then. When time is available.
I eat mostly healthy. I Cook most of our meals at home from scratch. I try to work out to combat the negative side of cigar smoke.
You can bet your sweet ass I'm smoking a cigar and drinking a glass of bourbon several nights a week.
I hope you and your wife's relationship gets thru this temporary snag. You're a good man.
Jfire
I bust my ass in a dangerous line of work, to give my family everything they need and want for nothing.
I'm home as much as I can be. Try to help father a 2.5 year old and a newborn. When ever needed. Playtime, bottle feedings diaper changes etc.
I try to give my wife a night out every now and then. When time is available.
I eat mostly healthy. I Cook most of our meals at home from scratch. I try to work out to combat the negative side of cigar smoke.
You can bet your sweet ass I'm smoking a cigar and drinking a glass of bourbon several nights a week.
I hope you and your wife's relationship gets thru this temporary snag. You're a good man.
Jfire
I think living a healthy lifestyle, eating right and exercising will do better fighting the cancer back. If you do all these things and smoke a cigar once a week or maybe twice a month I don't think it will be a major risk. But I am no doctor. You did the right thing, her fears are real and you need address them.
bdc30
BoM May '11
Sad to read this, and really makes me appreciate having a supportive cigar wife. Don't get me wrong, she doesn't like that I smoke either, but she doesn't nag me about it and let me build my cigar shack so I could smoke in comfort, so I can't ask for much more. I hope she loosens the reins a bit for ya bud.
Sorry to hear this man. I guess if my wife ever gave me an ultimatum, I would pick her and the kids over cigars as well. So far she has been supportive and understands that cigar time is my quiet unwind time from the stresses of work and raising kids. Maybe over time she will come around. Good luck and don't be a stranger around here.
I had a similar discussion with my wife last night. We came to a compromise on budget and how often I smoke. I have a personality that tends towards addiction and obsession. In the end I felt it was better to agree to a small budget and less frequency if it meant relieving the pressure on our relationship.
It might suck at first, but you will find ways to fill the time and maybe to recapture the relaxation. Either way, stick around.
It might suck at first, but you will find ways to fill the time and maybe to recapture the relaxation. Either way, stick around.
Sorry to hear this and my condolences for your father in law. This was all very interesting to read as I come up on my wedding day in February. My fiancé is a dentist and doesn't like that I smoke at all. She's ok with a few but it can't be an everyday thing. Which is fine with me since I don't have the time anyway. She's more concerned about the money it costs as we try to furnish our home. Good luck brother and I hope you stick around here. I've been here about a week and plan on sticking around a long time so I hope to read your posts in the future. Yeah, this place is about cigars and pipes, but I've quickly learned there is more than that here.
Stogie_Bear
Chulo Savage
As someone who watched your journey here unfold, and as part of the 2014Q3 class (lol), I must say that I am deeply sorry it has come to this. I totally understand, I would undoubtedly make the same decision. Even so, I hope that you find a way to keep the brotherhood here part of your weekly routine. I will try my very best not to tempt you into divorce with the upcoming reviews I plan on writing. 
Once a brother always a brother, Paul.
Chris
Once a brother always a brother, Paul.
Chris
Botl is still going to be part of my daily routine for the most part. I also want to thank everyone who has taken the time to comment on my decision, i appreciate the support. I will still look forward to all your reviews as well Chris.As someone who watched your journey here unfold, and as part of the 2014Q3 class (lol), I must say that I am deeply sorry it has come to this. I totally understand, I would undoubtedly make the same decision. Even so, I hope that you find a way to keep the brotherhood here part of your weekly routine. I will try my very best not to tempt you into divorce with the upcoming reviews I plan on writing.
Once a brother always a brother, Paul.
Chris
Ducttapegonewild
Actual Size
I agree with the sentiment of all of this, except for that last part. "Once a brother, always a brother, unless you're Caitlin Jenner, then you can be a sister"As someone who watched your journey here unfold, and as part of the 2014Q3 class (lol), I must say that I am deeply sorry it has come to this. I totally understand, I would undoubtedly make the same decision. Even so, I hope that you find a way to keep the brotherhood here part of your weekly routine. I will try my very best not to tempt you into divorce with the upcoming reviews I plan on writing.
Once a brother always a brother, Paul.
Chris
Regardless, good luck brother (unless you want to be a sister in the future, then good luck sister!) and remember, this group of degenerates will be here if you ever need anything!
I dunno Matt, if he goes Caitlin Jenner on us he might get to smoke again
Ducttapegonewild
Actual Size
Yeah, but that would be an ENTIRELY different forum.I dunno Matt, if he goes Caitlin Jenner on us he might get to smoke again
Sad to see this happen to you. But like many above me has said is that BOTL is more than the cigars and pipes. This is like my 2nd family here. Don't be a stranger and keep in touch. Maybe down the road things will calm down and maybe you could start up again one day and just tone it down a bit. Either way, we're all here for you, regardless of the extremely difficult choice you had to make.
Old Stogie
Me
When my wife and I were married, I had a motorcycle smoked my pipe and cigars.
I also drink bourbon and she new of this and has no issue..
I also drink bourbon and she new of this and has no issue..
Though a tough one, I think you made the right decision. My wife and I celebrate our 37th today. My relationship with her is more important than anything else, and if it came down to it, I'd have to do the same as you. Thankfully, it hasn't.
My wife's mother was a lifetime cigarette smoker, and died of lung cancer, so my wife wasn't all that happy when I started this hobby. But, we respect each other, and since she knows how much I enjoy my cigars, she's learned to accept it. It's even gotten to the point that when my birthday or some other special day is coming up, she'll tell me to treat myself to a box of something special.
Hopefully, as time passes, your wife will get past some of her fears and maybe you can get back into the hobby.
My wife's mother was a lifetime cigarette smoker, and died of lung cancer, so my wife wasn't all that happy when I started this hobby. But, we respect each other, and since she knows how much I enjoy my cigars, she's learned to accept it. It's even gotten to the point that when my birthday or some other special day is coming up, she'll tell me to treat myself to a box of something special.
Hopefully, as time passes, your wife will get past some of her fears and maybe you can get back into the hobby.
THEMISCHMAN
SGT Hulka
Agreed.
Well, I admire your decision. It's not the one I might have gone with, but I think my situation is a little different. I've been smoking ceegars for something like 44 years...I've been riding motorcycles for 47 years, had a profession that many would consider dangerous for many years...but along the way, I've been divorced a couple of times, and my current wife and I have just an eight year history. By the time I had met her, my ways, good and bad, were pretty much set in stone.
To my way of thinking, if my now-wife, previously girlfriend...obviously...had come into my life and then tried to change my ways, that would have been a red flag, and we would not have progressed to marriage. Yes, I can modify my ways a bit to adjust, that's compromise, and good relationships are based upon compromise. If you come into a relationship where the other party has certain foibles, either accept those foibles or...get out.
In my case, it worked out fine. My wife loves riding motorcycles, enjoys hearing stories...what VERY few I ever share...about that profession...and enjoys a smoke of her own from time to time...mostly taking a hit off of one that I'm smoking that smells good to her. So Paul, it looks like your cigar smoking is a fairly new thing, she doesn't like it, kudos to you for giving it up. It's the right choice as long as everything else in the marriage is good.
To my way of thinking, if my now-wife, previously girlfriend...obviously...had come into my life and then tried to change my ways, that would have been a red flag, and we would not have progressed to marriage. Yes, I can modify my ways a bit to adjust, that's compromise, and good relationships are based upon compromise. If you come into a relationship where the other party has certain foibles, either accept those foibles or...get out.
In my case, it worked out fine. My wife loves riding motorcycles, enjoys hearing stories...what VERY few I ever share...about that profession...and enjoys a smoke of her own from time to time...mostly taking a hit off of one that I'm smoking that smells good to her. So Paul, it looks like your cigar smoking is a fairly new thing, she doesn't like it, kudos to you for giving it up. It's the right choice as long as everything else in the marriage is good.