Panhandlers and homeless

[Old Smokey]

Across the country I see lots of apparently homeless people, holding a cardboard sign asking for help. A few say they are willing to work, some asking for gas money, some say they are veterans and some mention their poor hungry kids. I often wonder what their true story is. Some I have seen for several years and once in a while hear of a homeless person being found dead laying in a field of weeds, under a bridge or stepped into traffic.
Are they addicts and alcoholics? Mentally ill and can't function in society? Traumatized from war and can't seem to cope? Are they able bodied scammers living off of the generosity of others who are willing to work for a living? Several seem to have a dog for companionship and to possibly entice a pet lover to give them money so their dog won't be hungry.

I am curious how you react to these homeless people? Do you give them money or food? Do you ignore them? Do you find yourself feeling disgusted that they won't go get a job and bust their asses to survive like you do? Do you ever talk to them and hear their story?

I have done all of the above and am wondering how you all react or don't react to this problem. I must admit I have looked at them many times with disgust and that attitude disturbs me. Where is my compassion?

I would love to hear some honest feedback.

 

[icehog3]

I think all of the above for reasons they are out there. Probably over half are mentally ill to some degree.

There are definitely scammers out there, I have seen more than one putting their $600+ bicycles behind a bush when they arrive at their spot.

Near me they are at the end of expressway exit ramps at stop lights. Not much of a chance to have any conversation. I have given a few of them that I see on an almost daily basis a few bucks here and there, I am more likely to give when the weather is bad (sub 10* temps, pouring rain) for whatever reason. I tend to give to the non-aggressive people, some look into cars like they wanna hurt somebody.

 

[Boudie]

Questions that have plagued society since the beginning of time my friend.

 

[Frost]

As a police officer, I think I’ve run into almost every type of homeless person over the years. From meeting all these people, there clearly is no “one type fits all”. I used to work in a more urban area than I currently do and my wife used to work for the Homeless Assistance Team in that city. I have to agree with her that most people you see panhandling are drug addicts or alcoholics just looking for a handout until they get their next government check. On the rare occasion, you will run into someone who is legitimately down on their luck and truly need help. These are usually the ones you see with backpacks who are trying to relocate or those with children. I am far more apt to help these types out but I usually provide them with a meal and a small amount of money. I have no doubt I’ve been scammed over the years and that’s ok. At the end of the day, I think God wants us to look out for one another and with all the blessings I’ve had over my life, a sandwich a a few bucks is a small price to pay.

 

[Old Smokey]

As a police officer, I think I’ve run into almost every type of homeless person over the years. From meeting all these people, there clearly is no “one type fits all”. I used to work in a more urban area than I currently do and my wife used to work for the Homeless Assistance Team in that city. I have to agree with her that most people you see panhandling are drug addicts or alcoholics just looking for a handout until they get their next government check. On the rare occasion, you will run into someone who is legitimately down on their luck and truly need help. These are usually the ones you see with backpacks who are trying to relocate or those with children. I am far more apt to help these types out but I usually provide them with a meal and a small amount of money. I have no doubt I’ve been scammed over the years and that’s ok. At the end of the day, I think God wants us to look out for one another and with all the blessings I’ve had over my life, a sandwich a a few bucks is a small price to pay.

Well said Frost and thank you for sharing first hand experience. I have spoken to maybe 6-8 of the homeless panhandlers in my town and being homeless just seems to be a way of life for them and they really had no complaints.

 

[akpreacherplayz]

As a police officer, I think I’ve run into almost every type of homeless person over the years. From meeting all these people, there clearly is no “one type fits all”. I used to work in a more urban area than I currently do and my wife used to work for the Homeless Assistance Team in that city. I have to agree with her that most people you see panhandling are drug addicts or alcoholics just looking for a handout until they get their next government check. On the rare occasion, you will run into someone who is legitimately down on their luck and truly need help. These are usually the ones you see with backpacks who are trying to relocate or those with children. I am far more apt to help these types out but I usually provide them with a meal and a small amount of money. I have no doubt I’ve been scammed over the years and that’s ok. At the end of the day, I think God wants us to look out for one another and with all the blessings I’ve had over my life, a sandwich a a few bucks is a small price to pay.

Amen


Sent from Area 51 using telepathy

 

[multi-useless]

I have developed such a skepticism over the years toward the "homeless", and such a belief that the overwhelming majority are simply panhandlers who don't want to work, I decided some time ago to prove my theory and began handing out my business cards to them - telling them that if they really want to work, they can call, email, or show up at the address on the card.

My intent has always been, that if any one of them ever reached out to me for a job, I would either find at least some minor crap work around the shop like pulling weeds or sweeping floors so they could earn a few bucks, or if I really have absolutely no use for them, I'd be perfectly fine giving them a few bucks for their time and to hopefully help carry them another day, because at least they actually tried.

To this day, I've NEVER had a supposedly homeless person who I gave my card to, either call, email, or show up at my work. Now surely, there are truly homeless people out there who really do NEED my help in order to eat or stay warm - but in the years since I've started doing this, I haven't met one.

 

[Cigary43]

I think all of the above for reasons they are out there. Probably over half are mentally ill to some degree.

There are definitely scammers out there, I have seen more than one putting their $600+ bicycles behind a bush when they arrive at their spot.

Near me they are at the end of expressway exit ramps at stop lights. Not much of a chance to have any conversation. I have given a few of them that I see on an almost daily basis a few bucks here and there, I am more likely to give when the weather is bad (sub 10* temps, pouring rain) for whatever reason. I tend to give to the non-aggressive people, some look into cars like they wanna hurt somebody.

There is a story for each person and having lived in major metro areas I've seen a lot of hustlers and I've seen a lot of down and out people who deserve a handout. The first thing I look at is their hands...not stare mind you but I just glance at their fingers...are they clean...are they the hands of somebody who has spent a lot of time working to fend for themselves? Some have hands so clean and manicured you just stand there with this WTH look on your face....the next thing are their shoes...$100 plus Nikes or Adidas...really...you're gonna wear these top of the line shoes to go out and beg? Like @Icehog pointed out....the $600 bicycle parked nearby or the guy I watched from 30 yards away when he finished his begging to others walks a block down the street and gets into a 2018 BMW and off he goes.

Had this woman some time ago come up to me and her story was very compelling so I told her...what would you like to eat because she asked for money at first...she looked at me and said she didn't want to impose on me to buy her a meal and I said I wanted to help so there were two fast food places nearby...McDonalds and Panera Bread ( I though this would be a nice little test as to her choice because you can barely go to Panera w/o paying $10 for half a sammy and drink...) to my surprise she said McDonalds because she said they have those $1 meals....ok...that showed me that she wasn't looking to score here and we walked over to McDonalds where I bought her $6 big breafkast and coffee....then I had the Manager give her a "food only coupons" for later...$20 worth.

I like helping others but I won't be hustled either....some of those people by the side of the road only want cash and I don't or won't do that and a lot of these people have pedigree dogs sitting a few yards away from them....how does that work and they have their tags and such....gotta be observant these days.

 

[RB1992]

Ive had a more "hands on" experience with homelessness, and to echo the sentiment of previous replies, there is no one type fits all.

That being said, most of what I saw was "scammers", or people who like to get high/drunk so much they don't care that their life falls apart. Not neccenecess bad people mind you(though there are those as well). But people who have addiction issues(as well as many other including mental illness) and never addressed them. In an urban society it's very easy to be homeless, there are people who donate clothes, shelter(tents, sleeping bags, etc.), Food, and transportation services left and right.
So in that environment, once the bad luck/life decisions set in, many of them become complacent in there situation since they're provided with all their basic needs. And with the cheap price of alcohol and new drugs(k2, spice), it's not too hard for them to get their fix too.

Do they choose it? Yes. Is it simply a matter of they don't want to work and be a loser? No. They're handed everything they need and then some to survive so there is no real urgency to get their shit together. Coupled with mental illness, or bad finances, or whatever of life's BS throws at them, they get stuck.

That said there are a few who don't use drugs or drink, who do try to get out of the situation but don't have very good luck in succeeding. There's no real way to tell the difference between the two either. 90 percent of them are suffering however, in their own way, and even if they don't seem it, do deserve some help.

Just my .2c

 

[Old Smokey]

I have a cousin who I hadn't seen or heard from for about 30 years. She was passing through town and looked me up. After visiting for awhile I asked what she did for a living and she told me she panhandles and makes at least $200 a day and often times more. She lives in Texas. He mom (my aunt) passed away and my cousin has a house that's paid for, draws disability from the gov't and panhandles. Right before she left she gave me this sad story and asked me for money. Let's just say I didn't react the way she thought I would and left. I haven't seen or heard from her for over 10 years. I did hear she had a stroke a couple of years ago and is in a home healthcare situation.

About a year ago I went and got carry out for my wife and I and as I was driving home I pulled up to a stop sign and saw a guy slumped over with his back against a stop sign post. I rolled down my window and asked if he was ok. He raised his head and said he hadn't eaten for days and I could tell he was very very weak and malnourished. No doubt in my mind this guy was in severe trouble. I took my fresh hot meal of 6 awesome chicken tenders, broccoli cheese casserole and a nice dinner salad and took it over to him and he began crying and said thank you, that he didn't think he was going to survive the night. I had never seen him around here before and haven't since, but I had no problem helping him out. I tried to get him to let me take him to one of the local shelters where he could get food and get stronger, but he refused. I really don't think he had the strength to stand. I went on home, but I probabaly should have called and gotten him help. I have wondered about him several times since then. But he is the only person I have helped in recent memory. He didn't smell of alcohol and he didn't have a sign asking for anything.

 

[RB1992]

Just like in every other part of life there are those that abuse and take advantage of Every situation, and those that are just in the situation, and it's usually not to hard to tell who's who if you look past the surface

 

[ritter6788]

My old restaurant was in a heavy homeless area and I had to deal with them everyday. I used to be very generous and giving. If you saw the stuff they pulled on me and other folks over the years you’d be shocked. It’s hard because customers look down on you for not helping them but when you see them all day every day you get cold to it, especially the ones you’d see over and over you know that you knew just wanted money for drugs and alcohol. I’d still give someone I’d never seen before some food but no money ever. Some would ask for money and when you’d offer food they’d take it and throw it in the parking lot.

 

[Cigary43]

My old restaurant was in a heavy homeless area and I had to deal with them everyday. I used to be very generous and giving. If you saw the stuff they pulled on me and other folks over the years you’d be shocked. It’s hard because customers look down on you for not helping them but when you see them all day every day you get cold to it, especially the ones you’d see over and over you know that you knew just wanted money for drugs and alcohol. I’d still give someone I’d never seen before some food but no money ever. Some would ask for money and when you’d offer food they’d take it and throw it in the parking lot.

In downtown San Diego and Atlanta I'LL see these homeless/indigents urinate and defecate on the sidewalk and buildings without so much as a second look.. .walk over to me with their hands out begging for money.. .some of these characters don't even try to act decently and have the expectations that others have to help them. The irony is that people do want to help... but no one wants to be taken advantage of... including the homeless so this societal condition erodes both sides and being observant is all we can do these days to help our fellow man. Sad when Good Samaritan folks have to do a vetting process to help others.

Because of this thread just yesterday my wife stopped at an exit off the Interstate at a red light...a homeless person walks up to her car and she noticed another guy on the opposite side in the bushes approaching and she ensures the locks are in place. .. he motions to her to roll down the window. .. she doesn't of course. ..then he started to pound on the window and she then rolled through the red light when it was safe to do so. Some of these people are so bold anymore... she called me from her cell. .. . I then called 911 and reported the incident ( we have a GPS app ) and told the dispatch that my wife was in fear of her life.. .to the credit of local LE they responded within 5 minutes.... they called me back and gave me a report to assure me that those 2 bozos were taken care of. Talk to your loved ones .. be observant. .. just like that poor girl who thought she was getting into the Uber car. .. I hate letting my wife go out by herself these days.

 

[Boudie]

I don't feel good about myself when I think about how I would truthfully answer this question especially knowing we are just an addiction, a bad string of luck, an illness away from being in a similar situation. I would much rather give money to a church or an organization that exists to help these people. Staff that can ascertain the difference between the lazy and the truly needy. When my wife worked in downtown New Orleans she got too know a couple of homeless people that weren't just panhandlers but people she could in someway identify with. She made sure they got at least one decent meal a day.

Two organizations I am familiar with and trust are Volunteers of America and Catholic Charities

 

[Xavier Dredo]

It’s a challenge deciding who to help and who really needs help. A couple years ago I ran into an old friend on the streets in New Haven and we were catching up. A pan handler, probably between 40-55 but looked 10 years older, approached us and asked if we could spare some $ because he was starving. My friend had just come out of a Subway and handed the guy a 12” Italian Combo he had just bought and said “Here you go, this is fresh”. The guy took it with barely a thanks, walked away, and threw it it a trash can half a block away. My friend said he’s seen that guy bumming for years and this was the first time and last time he would do something like that again.

 

[Old Smokey]

Thank you all for your input on this topic.

Several years ago I bought 7 cases of ripe (several spots) bananas from a local grocery store for $2 a case, loaded them up in my car and drove down to donate them to the local Salvation Army which is one of several places that feeds and shelter homeless people. It is also a popular hangout for them.
I walked inside and there were 10-12 guys sitting around and I told them I had several cases of bananas for them. They all looked at me and one guy finally spoke up and said " put them over there". I made 7 trips to the car and and back carrying the cases and not one of these men got up to help nor offered. They just sat there and watched. When I was done, no one said thanks or even said a word. I paused for a few seconds and told them that I hope they enjoy them and that I would NEVER do it again and I could see why they were in the situation they were in. It was an eye opener for me and pissed me off. An offer to help and a simple thank you would have encouraged me to help further.

 

[Boudie]

Do you all remember the episode of Jerry Steinfeld where Elaine goes into the "muffin top" business. Her great idea was to sell just the muffin tops (the best part) and then donate the rest of the muffin to the homeless shelter.

 

[cwant]

If they ask for money for food, I will offer to buy them food. Ask for gas money, and I'll offer to pump them some gas. Ask for money for cigarettes and/or booze, and I'll usually buy them a 6er or pack of smokes. If they ask for food money and get angry when I offer to buy them a meal, they get nothing from me except some strong words.

 

[cwant]

This thread reminded me of a funny story. Was about 10 or 11 years ago, I stopped to buy cigarettes at the gas station down the road from where I used to live nearby the University of Houston. Some guy approached me when I was getting back in my truck and asked if I could spare some change. I was in a good mood and feeling generous, so without actually saying anything I opened the center console and started to dig around for some change.

I completely forgot that I had a plastic airsoft gun in there. It was modeled after a 1911, and at a glance I suppose it looked real enough. I heard "No man no, please don't shoot me, PLEASE!" By the time I turned around to tell him to relax, he was probably a good 20 yards away and didn't look like he was gonna be slowing down anytime soon. Lol.

 

[Boudie]

The way things are now days you turning your back on the guy and digging in your truck could have gotten you carjacked.