Jack and the Stalk
"Back already, Jack?" said his mother. "I see you haven't got Milky-White, so you've sold her. How much did you get for her?"
"You'll never guess, mother," says Jack.
"No, you don't say so. Good boy! Five dollars? Ten? Fifteen? No, it can't be twenty."
"I told you you couldn't guess. What do you say to these pills of Viagra? They're magical. Sprinkle them on the snow and overnight -- "