Speeding Ticket...

[MichiganM]

John wakes up and gets ready for work, only to realize that he's about 20 minutes late. He gets in his car and races down the freeway. Upon driving to the top of a steep incline he realizes there's a cop at the top of the hill with a radar gun pointed directly at him. Too late to slow down, John gets nailed.

The cop pulls him over and asks him if he knew how fast he was going...

John: "Officer, I figure I was doing about 15 over"

Officer: "Why so fast?"

John: "Well I'm late for work...."

Officer: "What kind of job do you do to where you have to drive so fast to get there??"

John: "I'm a rectum stretcher!"

Officer: "What in the hell is a rectum stretcher????"

John: "Well I put one finger in...stretch it until I can fit two fingers and keep stretching...eventually I get a fist in, then both fists...and then I stretch until I can get it about 6 feet wide!"

Officer: "What do you do with a 6 foot asshole?"

John: "I park him on a hill and give him a radar gun."

 

[tedski]

:hysterica .... but no way I'd say this in real life.

 

[tobby4]

that is funny... but nobody has the balls to say that...

 

[jwintosh]

ha! that's funny!!

 

[jmatkins]

I don't want to be locked up for the rest of my life I will keep that one to mysefl the next time I get pulled over.

 

[cvm4]

:headroll: No way anyone would ever say that!

 

[Boppa-Wasch]

Must have been drunk!