MichiganM
The One, The Only
John wakes up and gets ready for work, only to realize that he's about 20 minutes late. He gets in his car and races down the freeway. Upon driving to the top of a steep incline he realizes there's a cop at the top of the hill with a radar gun pointed directly at him. Too late to slow down, John gets nailed.
The cop pulls him over and asks him if he knew how fast he was going...
John: "Officer, I figure I was doing about 15 over"
Officer: "Why so fast?"
John: "Well I'm late for work...."
Officer: "What kind of job do you do to where you have to drive so fast to get there??"
John: "I'm a rectum stretcher!"
Officer: "What in the hell is a rectum stretcher????"
John: "Well I put one finger in...stretch it until I can fit two fingers and keep stretching...eventually I get a fist in, then both fists...and then I stretch until I can get it about 6 feet wide!"
Officer: "What do you do with a 6 foot asshole?"
John: "I park him on a hill and give him a radar gun."
The cop pulls him over and asks him if he knew how fast he was going...
John: "Officer, I figure I was doing about 15 over"
Officer: "Why so fast?"
John: "Well I'm late for work...."
Officer: "What kind of job do you do to where you have to drive so fast to get there??"
John: "I'm a rectum stretcher!"
Officer: "What in the hell is a rectum stretcher????"
John: "Well I put one finger in...stretch it until I can fit two fingers and keep stretching...eventually I get a fist in, then both fists...and then I stretch until I can get it about 6 feet wide!"
Officer: "What do you do with a 6 foot asshole?"
John: "I park him on a hill and give him a radar gun."
