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Today's Smoke (2004-2022 Archive)

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LigaPrivadaFanboy

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Hahahahaha. WTF is the story behind that signature LP Fanboy?
That's Felix the Grizzly. I "adopted" him symbolically from the Alaska Zoo in Anchorage. Before being captured he ate three people. One of them was the biggest Eskimo tribal drug dealer in AK history. While feasting on this dude's entrails (Eskimos eat a lot of whale blubber so he was REALLY digging in!), Felix tore into a 1kg bag of cocaine. AK State Troopers told me it was the 800lb grizzly-equivalent of "tripping balls."

So they shot poor Felix with 30 moose tranqs and he still wouldn't go down. That picture was taken full-charge before one trooper shattered his shoulder with 2 rounds of .454 Casull. Slightly winded and covered in a mixture of cocaine and Eskimo blood, Felix was hauled off to the zoo where vets told him to "walk that shit off", which he did in short time.

Now Felix lives a coke-free life of devouring live baby seals (which I donate via the zoo every 2 months as a tax write-off). He also had significant long-lasting effects from "that much coke" so he gets methadone shots every day to chill him the fuck out.
 
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