I spent the better part of the last 12 years traveling all over the Muslim world (spent significant amounts of time in Kuwait, UAE, Jordan, Iraq, and Afghanistan.. and have spent a little bit of time in Indonesia, Ganzhou China (province with a large Muslim population), Pakistan, Egypt, and other places..
While I would agree with you that PART of the problem is botched foreign policy.. We've made poor choices in who we back in foreign governments all over the world for the past 200 years.. this is not limited to the Muslim world.. we have backed the "wrong" guy all over latin america, asia, and even europe numerous times.. often for the wrong reasons.. and often to our own disadvantage..
I would also tell you that the solution neither involves moving Israel to another location (this would have just created another completely different set of problems) or playing peacemaker (or war monger for that matter)...
The core of the problem is cultural..
We simply do not get or understand that Arab and Persian (and Asian for that matter) cultures are thousands upon thousands of years old.. that while we will slowly change the priorities of these nations with the ever present influx of ipods, MTV, McDonalds, and playboy that we feed them.. that they are NOT like us.. that they do not share the same values.. etc.. and that while we might THINK that a 10 year long war or a 60 year long period of unrest is a long time.. that cultures and values systems that took eons to develop do not change overnight.. it is going to take far longer than a couple of generations to see the kind of changes (if they ever come at all) that we as Americans want to see.. (this does not make them wrong by the way.. we simply need to admit and understand that everyone else in the world is not an American, doesnt see things the same way we do.. and frankly.. many DONT WANT TO)...
Neither Arab or Persian cultures place a huge amount value or respect "peacemakers".. they havent since the dawn of time.. just because we want them to change and be accepting of our way of life, our priorities, and our values system doesnt mean that they are going to... even if we THINK we are "right" for pursuing it in a peaceful manner.. and think they are "wrong" for not accepting it.. ( I would say we are no more right than they are wrong.. it is just our linear way of looking at things.. we have a hard time accepting "different" and leaving it at that..)..
Western culture places little value or respect on dictators and authortarian leadership/government practices... (at least not much over the past few hundred years.. with a few notable exceptions..).. so we very naturally find many Arab and Persian regimes abhorrant.. without considering that culturally this is EXACTLY what their people want..
What happened after the "Arab Spring"?
Dictators were outsted and new governments were put in place..
Less than 12 months later.. whats going on?
Strong arm governments that suppress the free will of the people and lead with an iron fist (governments that were elected by the people) are running the show again... no real change at all..
While I am admittedly very hawkish by nature.. I do not advocate a war mongering approach as the solution to all of our problems in the middle east.. (I believe a measured and defined approach is far better)...
By the same token I would tell you my personal experience (and what history has shown us) is that the dove approach isnt the correct solution either..
Being "nice" has never been effective in the past.. and there is no evidence that supports that the peacemaker approach will be any more effective in the near term/future..
Middle eastern cultures respect very direct approaches and very definitive responses.. if you do X.. then we will do Y.. end of story.. no negotiation.. period.. and then stick to your guns and do exactly what you said you would do.. every single time... no exceptions..
Sure.. there will be a whole lot of hell raising, crying, and bantering about when things dont go their way (again.. this is cultural.. happens internally there too.. not this behavior is not reserved just for external issues).. but at the end of the day, everyone knows where you are coming from, and where you are going to..
Sabre ratting doesnt work...
and neither does apologizing, pleading, begging, or otherwise trying to kiss ass...
Say what you mean.. and mean what you say.. then follow through with your promises..
This is what they respect and understand..