Wisdom of the Youts

[jasonsbeer]

My 6 year old and I were watching the rain today.

He asks, "Does lightning hit houses?"
I reply, "Sometimes."
He says, "Then your life will be bad if you're up top and your internet will break if you're down below."

Hard to argue with that.

Any wisdom out there to share?

 

[LFOD]

My six year old just said "I CAN'T WAIT TO WRITE IN MY DIARRHEA"
Think he meant diary. Hope he meant diary.

 

[A Huge Nerd]

Love this thread so far. Subscribed.

We were driving by a newly built retirement community here in town. A big banner on the building read "Rentals Available". My daughter asked what the building was and the wifey replied "It's a place where old people can go to live if they need extra help". My daughter replied "But the sign said Rentals Available... You can rent an old lady?".

 

[memphsdad]

When I was 5, I told my dad that Hulk Hogan took hemorrhoids (steroids) to get muscles. He still never let's me live that down...

 

[StogieNinja]

My daughter was talking with the pastor who had just sat down at our table. "Hey, I like you" she said to him. "Aww, you do?" he asked. "Yeah," she continued, "I like you to get out of that chair so I can sit there."

 

[Ducttapegonewild]

My youngest is currently on a kick where he will ask if you are part of the illuminati.

To mess with the little conspiracy theorist, I told him that I was not part of the illuminati, but I was part of the group that keeps the illuminati a secret. I continued by telling him that there is a special jail that we take people who ask about the illuminati.

I figure I should wait a couple of days then wake him up at 2am to tell him I have to take him to that jail.

 

[luckysaturn13]

My youngest is currently on a kick where he will ask if you are part of the illuminati.

To mess with the little conspiracy theorist, I told him that I was not part of the illuminati, but I was part of the group that keeps the illuminati a secret. I continued by telling him that there is a special jail that we take people who ask about the illuminati.

I figure I should wait a couple of days then wake him up at 2am to tell him I have to take him to that jail.

Now that is hilarious!

 

[EO80]

Love this. Here is mine.
Back story... all my family lives in CA so my son gets lots of money for his birthday and we let him spend it as he pleases.
So a few weeks ago I took him shopping to spend that money. He picks up a bunch of Pokemon cards. Almost $150 worth. I try to talk him out of such a purchase. His response...
"Dad, this is my hobby like cigars are yours. How much have you spent on a single cigar purchase?"
Check and mate! Little bastard is too smart!

 

[Ducttapegonewild]

Love this. Here is mine.
Back story... all my family lives in CA so my son gets lots of money for his birthday and we let him spend it as he pleases.
So a few weeks ago I took him shopping to spend that money. He picks up a bunch of Pokemon cards. Almost $150 worth. I try to talk him out of such a purchase. His response...
"Dad, this is my hobby like cigars are yours. How much have you spent on a single cigar purchase?"
Check and mate! Little bastard is too smart!

You sir, just got served... Wait, kids still say that? Okay, you got PWND!

No? You asked him to bring it... He brunged it...

Oh never mind, I'm too old for kidspeak anyhow.

 

[EO80]

You sir, just got served... Wait, kids still say that? Okay, you got PWND!

No? You asked him to bring it... He brunged it...

Oh never mind, I'm too old for kidspeak anyhow.

However you want to say it, he put me in my place.

 

[squaresoft]

You sir, just got served... Wait, kids still say that? Okay, you got PWND!

No? You asked him to bring it... He brunged it...

Oh never mind, I'm too old for kidspeak anyhow.

even pwned is old now, i think maybe #wrecked is more current?

 

[Ducttapegonewild]

even pwned is old now, i think maybe #wrecked is more current?

What was that sonny!?

Get off muh damn lawn!!!

 

[Hamm]

Not really "wisdom" per-say, but figured i'd post. My sons favorite show is Malcolm in the Middle. We watch it a couple of times a week while relaxing. One of the episodes we watched, Francis was talking on the phone to Lois when Dewey picked up the phone and started talking. My son looks at me and goes "how did Dewey just join the conversation like that!?" So, I sat there and explained how a home phone works.

 

[LFOD]

I asked my 6yo what he wanted for his upcoming birthday this past weekend...
Sam: "I want a real motorcycle. You can teach me how to ride it!"
Daddy: "You can't drive until your older. What else do you want?"
Sam: "I want a machete so I can chop David (his older brother) in half!"
Daddy: "You might miss David. Pick something else"
Sam: "I want a real chain saw"
Daddy: "No. Keep trying"
Sam: "I want a Samurai sword"

I still don't know what to get him.

 

[Hamm]

I asked my 6yo what he wanted for his upcoming birthday this past weekend...
Sam: "I want a real motorcycle. You can teach me how to ride it!"
Daddy: "You can't drive until your older. What else do you want?"
Sam: "I want a machete so I can chop David (his older brother) in half!"
Daddy: "You might miss David. Pick something else"
Sam: "I want a real chain saw"
Daddy: "No. Keep trying"
Sam: "I want a Samurai sword"

I still don't know what to get him.

Wait...so you're saying you're NOT going to get him a machete?! What kind of father are you?! Haha.

 

[squaresoft]

I asked my 6yo what he wanted for his upcoming birthday this past weekend...
Sam: "I want a real motorcycle. You can teach me how to ride it!"
Daddy: "You can't drive until your older. What else do you want?"
Sam: "I want a machete so I can chop David (his older brother) in half!"
Daddy: "You might miss David. Pick something else"
Sam: "I want a real chain saw"
Daddy: "No. Keep trying"
Sam: "I want a Samurai sword"

I still don't know what to get him.

lucky for you he slipped up on the samurai sword request, he didn't specify it had to be real.

Thusly:
http://www.discountpartysupplies.co...Iu4kqBObwsbN_3gKwxwknziKN2YwU5Fg8zxoCLr3w_wcB
or:
http://www.martialgear.com/hard-pla...nRNQCVQYJjlRHpylWCALhDtRiomHJpAylQhoCQy3w_wcB
or:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/like/261516193752?lpid=82&chn=ps&ul_noapp=true
or:
http://blackbeltshop.us/collections/bokkens/products/colored-foam-bokken-by-century

 

[Wasz]

Wait...so you're saying you're NOT going to get him a machete?! What kind of father are you?! Haha.

"I been cut in half real bad Dewey."

 

[hookfish84]

I asked my 6yo what he wanted for his upcoming birthday this past weekend...
Sam: "I want a real motorcycle. You can teach me how to ride it!"
Daddy: "You can't drive until your older. What else do you want?"
Sam: "I want a machete so I can chop David (his older brother) in half!"
Daddy: "You might miss David. Pick something else"
Sam: "I want a real chain saw"
Daddy: "No. Keep trying"
Sam: "I want a Samurai sword"

I still don't know what to get him.

That's awesome! My 4 yr old daughter wanted a pink .22 rifle so she could shoot a turkey. I bought her the rifle for Christmas. We will see how good of a shot she really is.
She also wants to be a "Petnarian" when she grows up.

 

[Rupe]

The following conversation occurred several years ago while we were driving in the car with my daughter who was 3 at the time.

Daughter: Mom, I don't like bees

Mrs. Rupe: why not honey?

Daughter: because they can sting you and that hurts. But we really need them because they make polyester.




Sent from my iPhone using that TapaTalk thingy

 

[memphsdad]

The following conversation occurred several years ago while we were driving in the car with my daughter who was 3 at the time.

Daughter: Mom, I don't like bees

Mrs. Rupe: why not honey?

Daughter: because they can sting you and that hurts. But we really need them because they make polyester, right?

Same one that's getting married this year? Man, time flies.