This has got to be one of my all time favorites, from "Dr Strangelove...."
Major T.J."King" Kong, pilot of a B-52 bomber on it's way to a target deep in Russia.
"Survival kit contents check....... In them you'll find:
one forty-five caliber automatic
two boxes of ammunition
four days' concentrated emergency rations
one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills
one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible
one hundred dollars in rubles
one hundred dollars in gold
nine packs of chewing gum
one issue of prophylactics
three lipsticks
three pair of nylon stockings."
Major Kong......"Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff. "
Goddamnit, that is one of the funniest things I have ever heard!
