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StogieNinja

StogieNinja

Derek | BoM June 2014
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Stogie_Bear said:
Unfortunately I don't meet the minimum years on the forum and don't know any funny jokes.
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On behalf of @Stogie_Bear, a bear-themed joke:

A man and his pet bear walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: "Last call." So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my bear." The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the bear falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there." To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a bear!"

Please allow him to qualify, I enjoy his reviews quite a bit.
 
Stogie_Bear

Stogie_Bear

Chulo Savage
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Spenny said:
I will volunteer as tribute on behalf of your joke requirement, should @apaniagua require something humorous to give you consideration. Your reviews on the site speak for themselves, imho.
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StogieNinja said:
On behalf of @Stogie_Bear, a bear-themed joke:

A man and his pet bear walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: "Last call." So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my bear." The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the bear falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there." To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a bear!"

Please allow him to qualify, I enjoy his reviews quite a bit.
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Thank you, brothers. You are both too kind. More than happy to help, should I be considered.
 
LFOD

LFOD

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StogieNinja said:
On behalf of @Stogie_Bear, a bear-themed joke:

A man and his pet bear walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: "Last call." So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my bear." The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the bear falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there." To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a bear!"
Click to expand...
Bear walks into a bar. Goes up to the bartender and asks for a beer. Bartender says, "Shoo! We don't serve bears beers in this bar!" Bear leaves. Comes back the next day. Goes up to the bar and asks for a beer again. Again the bartender says "We don't serve bears beers in this bar" and sends him away. Third day the bear comes back, and now he's really pissed so he grabs a floozy off the nearest bar stool and eats her. Then he demands a beer from the bartender. Bartender says, "We don't serve bears on drugs in this bar." Bear says "HUH?" Bartender says "I saw that bar bitch you ate!"
 
A Huge Nerd

A Huge Nerd

Lee-Hair-Oh
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I'd love to help out if you need more. I've been smoking cigars since about 1995. I think I have a pretty good palate. I haven't been here on BOTL for a super long time, but I am very active in the online cigar community.

Here's my joke... A horse walks in to a bar. Bartender says "Why the long face?" Hey-O ;)
 
StogieNinja

StogieNinja

Derek | BoM June 2014
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WA
Thread derailed!

Since we had the twins, my father-in-law's favorite joke:

A woman has identical twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan."

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she starts to cry. Her husband asks why she's so sad, she just received a photo from one of her long-lost sons.

She tells her husband that she's thrilled, she just wishes she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "Well, honey... they're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
 
LFOD

LFOD

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Older guy goes to his doctor for his annual visit. Says, "Doc, there's something that's been bothering me. When I was a kid and I got a boner I couldn't bend it at all no matter how hard I tried. Ten years ago I could bend it at a 45 degree angle. Now I can bend it all the way over double."

"Doc... How much stronger am I gonna get???"
 
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