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javajunkie

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no, y'all are right, and i get that. change will ALWAYS be on an individual level. i know that i am not strong enough (or arrogant enough to beleive) that i can change someone else directly, more that i can offer a stable point in the storm for them (although that requires keeping my OWN shit straight, but that's MY burden).

i appreciate the reminder of nudging towards help. the specific lost soul has therapy lined up, and i will counsel group meetings as well. maybe AA will work here where it wouldn't in my specific case.
 

Ducttapegonewild

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Depression sucks balls... Sometimes the meds just don't work.

Tough week this week, couldn't get out of bed Monday, forced my self to go to work the rest of this week. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but wish me luck.
 

javajunkie

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Depression sucks balls... Sometimes the meds just don't work.

Tough week this week, couldn't get out of bed Monday, forced my self to go to work the rest of this week. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but wish me luck.
so, i work with the public. just using that as a mad-up-ass baseline; 90% of the populous won't get you, five won't like you, and five will ABSOLUTELY get you and agree with where you are coming from. that is about 375,000,000 people ON YOUR SIDE. most of which you will never meet, true. but at least you have extended your reach through the internet in this site. we get it, and quite a few of us would spare our time for you, brother.

PM me if you want a phone #. lemme know.
 
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Depression sucks balls... Sometimes the meds just don't work.

Tough week this week, couldn't get out of bed Monday, forced my self to go to work the rest of this week. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but wish me luck.
Meds are a small part of the puzzle. Psychotherapy is where change can occur after you've stabilized on medication. Coping skills are more effective than medication, and if you put them together you're even better off. If you have more bad days than good, the meds may need to be augmented as well.

Hang in there, bro. You've seen better days, and you will again.
 
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Depression sucks balls... Sometimes the meds just don't work.

Tough week this week, couldn't get out of bed Monday, forced my self to go to work the rest of this week. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but wish me luck.
Matthew,
Sending good vibes your way. Tomorrow is a new day and you never know what is gonna happen. Hell I start back to school on Monday because I read this old bastard on the forums here talking about going back and thought hell if he can I can :computer: Much love Brother hope you feel better soon.
 
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Depression sucks balls... Sometimes the meds just don't work.

Tough week this week, couldn't get out of bed Monday, forced my self to go to work the rest of this week. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but wish me luck.
You are in my prayers. I understand those days of depression when it is a monumental effort to get out of bed and get going.
 
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Depression sucks balls... Sometimes the meds just don't work.

Tough week this week, couldn't get out of bed Monday, forced my self to go to work the rest of this week. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but wish me luck.
You are in my prayers. I understand those days of depression when it is a monumental effort to get out of bed and get going.
 

CWS

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so... anyone have any advice for mentoring someone concerning substance issues? god knows i have my own poroblems, but i have had a couple few opportunities to reach out to others. if someone is currently doing this, or especially if they have for a while, i would love some pointers. in thread or PM, your call, if you think others could benefit from it.

FWIW i am NOT a twelve stepper, just because i have always been kinda against the grain. it's just my personality. it won't work for everyone, i know, but it has for me so far, god willing. still, i have never had issue with lending a shoulder, or a rock in the storm...
I am a twelve stepper and have been for 21 years. I know guys that did it on their own and were successful. But I have to be brutally honest, I know and even sponsored a lot more that left to go on their own and died trying. I can't fix anyone. I can't change anyone. I can share my experiences and prove that with the help of others I managed to not take the first drink. Twenty one years ago when they told me that statement I thought they were crazy. There was no way on Gods earth that I could live a day without a drink. But somehow they convinced to to stick around and carried my ass until one day I was helping to carry someone elses. And so it goes on and on. Get them to try a program. Offer to drive. Offer to find the meetings. Offer to pick them up. Just get them in and the brotherhood takes over. It takes one to know one. It takes one to know the lies and pain and excuses. Good for you for trying to help.
 

javajunkie

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no, and i get thet, chuck. i am in a tenuous position (aren't we all?), and what i do will NOT work for most. in this instance, if they need help AND will reach out to me, i will do whatever is necessary. i will prod, poke, and push meetings, and if that means i go as well, so be it. my stubborn streak isn;t worth someone else, as long as they are open to change and growth.

god, i HOPE they are open to change and growth.
 

3/5King

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no, and i get thet, chuck. i am in a tenuous position (aren't we all?), and what i do will NOT work for most. in this instance, if they need help AND will reach out to me, i will do whatever is necessary. i will prod, poke, and push meetings, and if that means i go as well, so be it. my stubborn streak isn;t worth someone else, as long as they are open to change and growth.

god, i HOPE they are open to change and growth.
It's a bitch of a thing. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. Where's the bottom that will slap the reality right onto his face and wake him up to the fact that things need to change... Even after that bottom, if the person doesn't build a sustainable way of recovery and WORK it (whatever type of support that may be) he could start all over again and have to find another bottom. I know the road you're walking and know your dilemma. Addicts are a fickle bunch and knowing how to help them is most times a mystery. We do what we can and hope for the best. Don't give up. Be patient, be calm, be strong and be loving...I'll say a prayer for the both of you to get out of hell before the devil knows you're there.
 

CWS

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no, and i get thet, chuck. i am in a tenuous position (aren't we all?), and what i do will NOT work for most. in this instance, if they need help AND will reach out to me, i will do whatever is necessary. i will prod, poke, and push meetings, and if that means i go as well, so be it. my stubborn streak isn;t worth someone else, as long as they are open to change and growth.

god, i HOPE they are open to change and growth.
That is the best statement in the world. I have a buddy here that just stopped. One day he just said enough. I am amazed. I just know I could not. You are a good man and have the right ideas. I used to go to an Alanon meeting once and a while when I was a year sober. It was blood chilling how they got people to understand that they needed to work on themselves and not the alcoholic. Good luck. Call me if you need any support.
 

javajunkie

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honestly, "the bottom" in this case is death. i am talking about a thirty year old who has already done extensive and irreparable damage to her bodily systems. which is WHY i am so worried about this. i hate shit canning people (staff of ten, we're all close), but in this case it means more.

thanks for the feedback and the offers, gents, and it does mean the world to me.
 

Soundwave13

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15 yrs w/ Jimmy K here. Anything is possible - if you want something bad enough, the world will conspire to help you~Paulo Cuelho... Advice? Don't offer your own. Speak about your experience only. A good mentor/sponsor meets someone at the "point of (their) willingness". The more people they meet - the more experience they can then glean from. Addicts have instinctual knee-jerk reactions to authority, even if you aren't, but just sound like one! "Carrying a message" is not about evangelizing (some people seem to think that), to me, it's about demonstration (lead through example). I think it's great that you can take them to a meeting/talk/spend time/help them to meet other good examples. My .02 for the moment... Best wishes!
As for depression - I still struggle from time to time (but I'm not diagnosed as suffering from clinical depression either) - maybe that should just be called living! Talking about it/writing about it, exercise (even going for a brisk walk), productivity (clean the house, car, it's amazing how just a few small actions towards a larger goal can make you feel), eating a healthy meal (more veggies, less carbs), healthy escape works well too (temporarily - like reading a book or watching a movie). Things NOT to do: self medicate, self-diagnose, isolate, binge/purge, and if you feel like hurting yourself or someone else - call a hotline or see a professional Immediately! Though I have been to the depths of addiction and depression personally and witnessed dozens of others and helped many people, I am NOT a professional. I can only offer my sincere support and encouragement - from someone who has been there & found a way out. Keep coming. Better yet: Stay! ~
 

Ducttapegonewild

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I feel I need to update a bit. I've decided a more professional approach is needed, I have an appointment with an actual psychiatrist rather than my GP. The meds I'm on are obviously not working as this past week has shown me. I will refrain from posting in my depressed mood as I don't want to bring the cheerfulness of this great forum down, but I do want to thank a couple of brothers publicly for reaching out privately to me. They can speak up if the want their greatness known to all. Thank you for all of your well wishes regardless. Things will get better, I just need to remember a couple of things, first, the light at the end of the tunnel is not necessarily a train, and second, in the immortal words of Suicidal Tendencies (I know, not really something that should be talked about in the same thread as depression) "You Can't Bring Me Down". I cannot let the actions of other affect my mood.

Again, thank you brothers for being here for me...

Until we meet again, hopefully soon.
 
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I feel I need to update a bit. I've decided a more professional approach is needed, I have an appointment with an actual psychiatrist rather than my GP. The meds I'm on are obviously not working as this past week has shown me. I will refrain from posting in my depressed mood as I don't want to bring the cheerfulness of this great forum down, but I do want to thank a couple of brothers publicly for reaching out privately to me. They can speak up if the want their greatness known to all. Thank you for all of your well wishes regardless. Things will get better, I just need to remember a couple of things, first, the light at the end of the tunnel is not necessarily a train, and second, in the immortal words of Suicidal Tendencies (I know, not really something that should be talked about in the same thread as depression) "You Can't Bring Me Down". I cannot let the actions of other affect my mood.

Again, thank you brothers for being here for me...

Until we meet again, hopefully soon.
Fantastic idea, and definitely in the right direction, bro. GPs just don't have the training and vested interest in staying current with new meds and applications. Keep your head up because you are making progress. It's going to get better soon.
 
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