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Omerta

Omerta

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Jun 13, 2015
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861
Oh some fake Cuban thing my local b&m gets. They are like 1 or 2 taste of Havana I think is what it was called. The ash was yellow the smoke was yellow. I'm sure I lost years on my life smoking it.
 
sofc

sofc

I hate E and Chef
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Feb 18, 2010
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8,280
Undercrown (other than viva)
La Sirena
La Aroma de Cuba

Had a few of each and didn't get through an inch of either.
 
tengel78

tengel78

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Jan 29, 2015
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1,479
Location
Mission, KS
Bought a bunch of crap from cbid when I started my cigar journey. I had picked up a fiver of Diesel something and they were horrible.
I smoked all 5 before I tried some better cigars and realized there were much better flavored out there.
 
Lapithicus

Lapithicus

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Feb 8, 2015
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363
Location
Columbus, Ohio
Couple of years ago picked up an Obsidian 8-pack sampler from the devil's site for $22. I was so happy when those were gone. Worst construction ever.
 
ZippoGeek

ZippoGeek

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Jan 31, 2015
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3,974
Location
Buffalo, NY
Ron. Mexico. :vomit: (n) :ROFLMAO: Here's my review from last March:
"That's it...35 minutes, I'm done!! The sourness is just unspeakable. I need to rinse my mouth out with something more palatable. Maybe some motor oil. Verdict: no man should be made to smoke a Ron Mexico. Not even death row inmates."
9A0A61B7-E37D-47D8-A9B4-5722991345B7_zps4wcimxzr.jpg.html
 
ChiefIlliniwek

ChiefIlliniwek

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Sep 11, 2014
Messages
356
Location
St. Louis, MO
Some cigar my bro-in-law gave me for Christmas a few years back made by Big Butt Cigars. It tasted like someone had rolled up all of the leftover cigarette butts from my grandpa's notoriously overflowing ashtray, and made it into a cigar. Just sour ash, or sour ass, take your pick. One of the few cigars that I've ever given up early on.

I'll give honorable mention to the 5 Vegas Gold maduro. The bastards will not burn evenly, if you can even get them to stay lit. Oh, and they taste like ass. I won't knock all of 5 Vegas though. Their classic and High Primings lines aren't terrible if you're just looking for a decent cheap stick and don't care about complexity. They're some of my go-to yardgars.

EDIT: To defend my BIL, he gave me some pretty decent sticks in the same little fiver that he gifted me, but the Big Butt was by far the worst.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Catawbamatt

Catawbamatt

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Aug 7, 2014
Messages
2,404
Location
Salisbury, NC USA
Luckily I educated myself and found this site before buying up and smoking a bunch of cbid crap. So, the least favorite flavor that I've gotten from a cigar is the La Antiguadad. Smoked two and both do nothing at all for me. Can't even finish them.
 
JordanDrew

JordanDrew

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Nov 25, 2015
Messages
148
icehog3 said:
Tamboril

I decide to smoke the Tamboril in the parking garage near where I work. Pulling the cigar from its cellophane jail, I swear I have seen this cigar before. Finally, it comes to me…it is just the same as the Cuban Cohibas I bought from the guy walking the beach in Cancun last summer. A squeeze reveals a spongy construction, much like a contraceptive sponge prior to insertion.

Pre-light draw

The pre-light draw is a taste to remember…its what I imagine sucking powdered goat feces through a straw made of petrified moose $hit might taste like. I contemplate quitting the contest and sending Dave back his extra smokes, but decide that if I can have a root canal with no anesthesia, I can smoke this cigar.

The smoke

As I toast the end, the smell of the Killing Fields of Cambodia is what I perceive. All the pain and torture endured there seems only slightly worse than the experience I am beginning. The first draw fills my mouth with smoke that would be better suited for a fire at a tire factory, but I press on, knowing that I must help Dave find some answers to his dilemma. My head begins to pound like a headboard in a Ginger Lynn movie, but I puff again, trying to keep the smoke in and the bile down. The cigar is burning sideways and fast, and finally I can take no more. I see a homeless man walking by in his filthy clothes, and I ask him to spit in my mouth to take away the taste of the Tamboril. He obliges and the stale taste of Mad Dog 20/20 and Virginia Slims is a welcome change. I offer him the remainder of the cigar as a reward for his kind gesture, and he slugs me square in the mouth. The mixture of my own blood and the Mogan David remain with me on my journey home for the second part of my adventure.

Cremosa

I take the Cremosa out of its wrapper, and am immediately overwhelmed by the scent of Miss Locascio’s house. Miss L was the woman on our block with 72 cats, 3 ferrets and a nasty flatulence problem. The cigar feels harder than the mattress at the Motel 6 and has the same color as the middle of horrorview’s prescription thong.

Pre-light draw

The pre-light draw feels looser than an Irish hooker on St Patrick’s Day. I long for the taste of spit and blood again as I taste the rancid pork washed down with spoiled milk flavor that the Cremosa offers.I shudder as I reach into my pocket for my lighter. As I contemplate my next move, Chevy Chase appears on my shoulder…”See the cigar, hog….be the cigar”….I flick my bic.

The smoke

The smell of the cigar is a familiar one….the smoke smells like the water that leaks out of a dumpster behind a Mexican restaurant on a 95 degree day. My head swims with irrational thoughts….”should I slit my wrists?”….”should I eat a bullet?”…..”should I watch 'American Idol'?”. Finally, sanity creeps back in, and I rush to the sink. No time for the Drew Estates Dave included as a palate cleanser, I reach for the Liquid Plumber and greedily chug from the bottle. The second degree burns scorching my tongue bring welcome relief from the taste of the Craposa. In the ambulance, the paramedic asks ”what is that rancid pork and spoiled milk smell on your breath”, even as he stabilizes my vital signs. I will live, he tells me, and by the way, he found my cigar and saved it for me. I wonder if they will have any sharp items in my hospital room?

So the loser… or the winner…of the worst of the worst…Cremosa. Thanks a lot Dave…I will send you the hospital bills.
Click to expand...
Oh man. I was reading this at my desk and started to bust a gut! Couldn't keep it in! That was an amazingly well written, horrifying experience. You should've included a NSFW warning!
 
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