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How do you handle a cigar mooch ?

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How good of a friend is this guy? And how well do you know him?

If he's intentionally mooching because he knows he can, put an end to it. If he's a good friend who fell on hard times or has just been absent minded when coming over and forgot to pick some up or you know he's the type of guy who would give you the shirt off his back, I wouldn't mind. If he's just smoking too many just let him know you've implemented a 1 smoke a day rule at your house to stop yourself from smoking too many (and this rule is universal).
A guy who'd give you the shirt off his back probably wouldn't mooch off you if he knew he wasn't in a position to reciprocate.

But, like other people said, maybe he's bringing other things to the table. I was in a similar situation myself. I keep a small collection of cheap smokes because while most of my friends and aquaintances don't smoke, some of them will occasionally try one. Except for this one guy. He was into cigars way before than I was and while he, so he says, eased up a lot in the past years, he's still THE cigar afficionado among us. That doesn't mean that he pops up his own cigars, but he'll gladly take one from other people when the situation arises. You'd think okay, the guy doesn't carry his own all the time since he doesn't smoke that often. But get this. Once, a group of us were at a B&M, but he didn't buy anything. The next evening, though, he was the first one to suggest we light one up from the new box, and another, and another. Typical mooching behavior if I ever saw any.

However, before I said anything (I seldom do, though), I remembered that probably all the wine we drank at that table, for the whole week, was coming from the boot of his car. The main bullet point for me to take home, I guess, was Think twice before you call someone an asshole.



Then again, if the guy is heading for the priciest smokes in your humidor and offer you 1 dollar sticks in return, there's really not muchmore thinking to be done, is there?
 

Tobacco Giant

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A guy who'd give you the shirt off his back probably wouldn't mooch off you if he knew he wasn't in a position to reciprocate.
Eh, I'm not so sure about this. I'm about to go completely off topic, but this is why the dynamic of their relationship is so important.

I have a handful of friends. We've mooched so many cigars, beers, food, clothes, etc. off each other that when they walk into my house, they know they can have anything they want, no questions asked. And when I walk into their house, I can have anything I want. Crap, we've probably mooched thousands and thousands of dollars from each other. Over the years, the income disparity level between some of my friends has grown, but it hasn't stopped the dynamic of "what's mine is yours" in the friendship. So even if a couple of my buddies can't afford or just don't know about (what I consider to be) top quality cigars, it doesn't mean they can't enjoy them from my humidor. I've gifted hundreds of cigars to good friends and I may never make back that investment, but the mentality we all have is the same and none of us willfully or maliciously takes advantage of the others generosity. There was a time in college when I rarely had beer money and none of my friends had anything negative to say when I still showed up to drink with them. I think there is a general realization that, in the end it will probably all even out. And even if it doesn't, what is a couple hundred cigars over a lifetime of friendship?

Based on the OP creating this thread, it sounds like they don't have this type of relationship and the guy is not the type who will reciprocate in any way he can, even if he had the available means. But the handling of a cigar mooch all depends on the relationship in question.

/end off topic rant.
 

StogieNinja

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A guy who'd give you the shirt off his back probably wouldn't mooch off you if he knew he wasn't in a position to reciprocate.
Eh, I'm not so sure about this. I'm about to go completely off topic, but this is why the dynamic of their relationship is so important.

I have a handful of friends. We've mooched so many cigars, beers, food, clothes, etc. off each other that when they walk into my house, they know they can have anything they want, no questions asked. And when I walk into their house, I can have anything I want. Crap, we've probably mooched thousands and thousands of dollars from each other. Over the years, the income disparity level between some of my friends has grown, but it hasn't stopped the dynamic of "what's mine is yours" in the friendship. So even if a couple of my buddies can't afford or just don't know about (what I consider to be) top quality cigars, it doesn't mean they can't enjoy them from my humidor. I've gifted hundreds of cigars to good friends and I may never make back that investment, but the mentality we all have is the same and none of us willfully or maliciously takes advantage of the others generosity. There was a time in college when I rarely had beer money and none of my friends had anything negative to say when I still showed up to drink with them. I think there is a general realization that, in the end it will probably all even out. And even if it doesn't, what is a couple hundred cigars over a lifetime of friendship?

Based on the OP creating this thread, it sounds like they don't have this type of relationship and the guy is not the type who will reciprocate in any way he can, even if he had the available means. But the handling of a cigar mooch all depends on the relationship in question.

/end off topic rant.
I don't think that's off topic at all, TG. I think it's 100% relevant. Because two things could be at play here.

1. The guy isn't a great friend, and is just a mooch, nothing more.
2. The guy is a great friend, perhaps can't afford better, knows the OP can, and doesn't think the OP minds.

Those are two very different scenarios with distinctly different sets of solutions. It may be that the friend feels like the Giant and his friends do, or thinks they have that kind of relationship, and the OP doesn't. So it could be a very uncomfortable misunderstanding to address. Or the guy could just be a dick. Without context, it's hard to know.

I have a small, very close-knit group of friends, and we've all been friends forever. I feel like TG does about his buddies, what's mine is theirs, and what's theirs I feel free to take. However, one of our friends, let's call him "A" , his income is so tight, he can't afford for me to take what's his. I'm still fine with him taking what's mine, whereas another of our friends, "B", feels differently, and feels that there should be proportionate sharing. If "A" is broke, he should still contribute on a small amount, proportionate to his situation. I figure I'm not broke, no reason to press "A", or keep him from participating. Nothing wrong with either point of view, what's important is knowing what the appropriate boundaries are and ensuring all parties are in agreement. That's a tricky path to navigate sometimes.
 
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It sounds to me like your friend is taking your generosity for granted. But only you know for sure what the dynamics are in your relationship with him. When you bbq, does he bring the food?
 
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When you bbq, does he bring the food?
He used to. For some reason that has. Stopped, now each time him and his family come over.. They bring my wife a bouquet of flowers... I get squat..

I have dual Humi's.. and I think the advice here is great, so it's time one gets my great smokes... The other my. Daily smokes...and i shall be locking down the better Humi.
 
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Not quite the same situation but my wife was raiding my stash for the guys she works with (all of whom I know, she runs a small telecom company. These guys are like family). Anyway, they BBQ and have beers on Fridays when the weather is good so she'd take a few sticks in and share them with her project managers and technicians.

So I bought her a REALLY nice desktop humidor (nicer than anything I own) and I filled it with CI Legends and cheapie 5 Vegas sticks. She put it in her office

When she starts running low, she tells me and I get a hundred bucks worth of whatever I can find on sale.

No more HTF's and LE's getting randomly grabbed and taken to the BBQ. works well.
 
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Buy a small cheep humidor and put a mix of dog rockets and value priced smokes you like. When he comes over allow him to select what he wants. Put the better stash away for other times. I usually keep a small desktop filled with get value priced smokes ($3-$5 range) for when the guys are around and want a smoke but who don't know the difference between a $3 or $12 htf stick.
^^^ this ^^^ x100
 

pabloj671

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I guess I've just been lucky with this situation... my friends who do smoke, they are welcome to anything that I have in my inventory... if they locate it and want it, it's theirs... but they, are great friends... and the sissy-folk that i occasionally hang out with, they don't smoke... but then again I don't have many "friends"... the stash of "mooch sticks" seems like the best idea... I just don't know if I could spend more $$$ on sticks i don't care to smoke... I hear enough crap about what i spend on the stuff i do smoke, i doubt the War Department will approve a new funds appropriation for a "stuff i probably won't smoke" inventory. but thats probably just my .02
 
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i doubt the War Department will approve a new funds appropriation for a "stuff i probably won't smoke" inventory.

Everytime my wife ask me how much I am spending on sticks... I quickly change the subject by asking her is she needs a new blouse - She always does.
 
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Mess with their heads. Rather than removing bands why not re-band dog rockets for the mooches. That way the can enjoy a LP or Opus X :ccowboy:
 

bballbaby

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Next time he comes over, ask him to bring a nice bottle of single malt scotch for you both to enjoy with your cigars.
That's a good idea there. Ask him to bring the scotch and you've got the cigar. Note that's cigar, not cigars, plural.
 
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This is a tough call. It sounds like your friend absolutely understands what he is picking and the value of them. I share anything I can with my friends but can't afford to be taken advantage of. I'd just sit the friend down and explain the situation. Tell him that you don't mind sharing your cigars but he can't smoke several of your best sticks every time he comes over. If it's a problem for him then he isn't your friend anyway.
 

smelvis

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Never had a mooch but I'd tell him for sure like the guy's say, if he's a good friend he will understand if he doesn't well problem solved and you learned something.

I have been very lucky to have a lot of friends from thee boards visit my house many from out of state on vacations, I enjoy meeting them tremendously and the best I have is the least I can do for my friends. The joy when they have something like a five year old Opus x shark and are still talking about it months later, well I can't put a price on that.
 

ciggy

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Many good points here. BOTL has a special way about "sharing the share" so to speak. We all know how expensive this hobby is and we know how cigar etiquette is respected. Most of us if not all of us give more than we receive which just shows our generosity and love of the hobby. We are a different caliber than most which is why we are here. If it were me I'd be honest with your friend. Mooching is unacceptable in my opinion. Once in a while is okay but making a habit out of it is just plain rude and not friendly respectfulness.
 
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