It gets the hose again
- Thread starter Cigar Monster
- Start date
Wait, are you bombing tacos?
I'm in charge of dinner tonight and tacos sound a lot easier than what im grilling
I'm in charge of dinner tonight and tacos sound a lot easier than what im grilling
Welcome, Ryan. There is a saying that goes "Snitch get stitches," and seeing as you're part of the family now, and how Jim just rolled on a bunch of your brothers, its only fair to put quite a beating on him...
Hey guys, thank you all for the warm welcome! It was possibly the only warm thing I have experienced all week down here. Speaking of spoons... the monster asked me to lick a spoon. I said I didn't want to.... I guess I didn't understand the question because now I am kind of wishing I had.
Tonight is Fishsticks Friday... and the fishsticks SUCK! To add insult to injury, the monster plans to marathon all 19 seasons of the Bachelor this weekend. I don't know how much more of this torment I can handle. Be warned gentlemen, bombs are being assembled down here like an ISIS training camp. Thanking and apologizing to whoever the first victim will be in advance, your sacrifice in my time of need exceeds appreciation. Have a great weekend and enjoy yourself for your poor buddy Ryan!
Ha, Buddy Ryan.... I have ADD.
Squirrel!
Mr.Draned
The Grey Rooster
I don't know what's more scary...being in that basement, or the memory of the losing years under Buddy!
Ducttapegonewild
Actual Size
Fixed it.
Mr.Draned
The Grey Rooster
I'm not even opening Pandora's box!
Welcome and this could get interesting.
Well, just remember there are people that would feel fortunate to have tacos and fish sticks. Plus, others that would pay good money for the experience. Consider yourself lucky compared to starve kids in Africa and wealthy massochists. You get it all for free.
See, you just have to look on the brighter side. It is all about perspective.
See, you just have to look on the brighter side. It is all about perspective.
Stogie_Bear
Chulo Savage
uh... this is awesome.
Hello everyone, sorry it has been a while. The wifi connection down here isn't so good and its been a pretty rough week. It seems I am on my own now as even Jim C won't come down to feed either of us. My only sustenance has been the monster's toe nail clippings, and yes he makes me do his clipping, and dried out dog rockets, fortunately not of the red rocket kind. See, there is at least an upside. I also sabotaged the television set while he was asleep so no more marathoning the Bachelor. The Monster has been enjoying himself lighting up nothing but Padron 80th Anniversary, not even to smoke, just to snub out on my arm and repeatedly quote the breakfast club. "About the size of a cigar. Did I stutter?! Muuhahaha" I guess the last time he saw daylight John Hughes was still relevant.
As you could imagine, these conditions have pressured me even more to hurry along with the manufacturing of my explosive devices, using only the finest of parts available to me. Nearly a dozen or so have been packaged up and concealed enough to fool the mailman into delivering such atrocities to you poor unsuspecting victims. I just hope my makeshift postage stamps crafted from old band-aids will suffice. I think the post manager general would applaud my efforts. Even though no food is being dropped off to us, it appears as though someone picked up the packages one night, and I can only assume they are on their way to be delivered.
Well, the battery on my phone is getting low and I don't know how much longer I'll be stuck down here. I'll try to save the battery life for another update in a few days. I hope these bombs will get me on the Monster's good side, enough for him to let his guard down and give me an opportunity to escape. Enjoy your weekend now, because there is mayhem on the horizon. And I'm sure there will be more to come once I finally get out of here, because the Monster is going to be super pissed when that happens and wreak havoc on everyone.
As you could imagine, these conditions have pressured me even more to hurry along with the manufacturing of my explosive devices, using only the finest of parts available to me. Nearly a dozen or so have been packaged up and concealed enough to fool the mailman into delivering such atrocities to you poor unsuspecting victims. I just hope my makeshift postage stamps crafted from old band-aids will suffice. I think the post manager general would applaud my efforts. Even though no food is being dropped off to us, it appears as though someone picked up the packages one night, and I can only assume they are on their way to be delivered.
Well, the battery on my phone is getting low and I don't know how much longer I'll be stuck down here. I'll try to save the battery life for another update in a few days. I hope these bombs will get me on the Monster's good side, enough for him to let his guard down and give me an opportunity to escape. Enjoy your weekend now, because there is mayhem on the horizon. And I'm sure there will be more to come once I finally get out of here, because the Monster is going to be super pissed when that happens and wreak havoc on everyone.