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Luckysaturn13 s Dog Rocket Reviews!

Unpossible_1

Unpossible_1

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bwhite220 said:
Well, it’s hot as balls outside so why not light up my first DRP cigar and make the situation worse! #AmIRight?

As I perused the cigars from the DRP:2018 box, I decided to start with the largest one to get it over with. I picked up this Punch that hails from some Country other than Cuba.
View attachment 116877

As I slid the cellophane off the cigar, I was taken aback by how yellow it was. I know that is normally a sign of age for a cigar but I’m pretty sure this one was just soaked in urine and turpentine at some point.
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I snipped the tip with a perfecto cutter and the "fun" started. The head of this Punch now looks like it was a character in the game “Punchout!!”.
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I pull that cap off of the cigar so I can do a cold draw. Tastes like grandma’s raisins. Sorry, not those raisins. I’m talking about Grandma’s Raisin’d toes after she sat in a bathtub too long because we forgot about her. Let me take a second cold draw to confirm - yep, definitely grandma’s raisins.

Let’s see what happens we set fire to this masterpiece of a Churchill.

Right out of the gate, this cigar is not bad. I’m actually offended that it’s not a bad tasting stick because I want this review to be honest and if it were a dumpster fire, I’d get to be creative with wordsmithing. Instead, I must tell you that it tastes like some kind of dried fruits. If you told me a cigar tasted like that, I’d think of potpourri from Grandma’s hou...CRAP!! I have to go check on grandma - brb!

Okay, I’m back. The cigar is still holding on strong - didn’t even have to relight it after checking on Grandma. She says, “hi” by the way.
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Anyway, this punch is good. You know what’s NOT good? Ant-Man and the Wasp. Saw that movie yesterday and it is easily my least favorite Marvel movie. I’d give it 2.5 Thoraxes out of 10.

The first ash just fell off. Only lasted about a 1/2 inch worth before it fell.

This cigar reminds me of the San Antonio Spurs: solid execution but boring as Hell.

This cigar is ugly as sin but it’s actually decent. I think this would be an interesting Blind Review to send someone. I mean, it’s kind of like winning the Trailer Trash Beauty Pagent; you won a Beauty Pagent, but you’re still trailer trash. So, don’t get your hopes up too much but don’t get too disappointed, either.

As I wrap up the 1/3, I begin to notice that my tongue is beginning to feel a harsh layer of film on it. It’s offputting at first but I like the punishment. I bite down on the RBP that @NMPokerDealer sent me and it puts me at ease. (Thanks again!)
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BTW, the ash is holding on much longer now. It’s currently at around 1.25” long (TWSS!). I guess the RBP set it at ease, too.
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Another BTW: people ask all the time what is the best lighter to get and I always swear by these Eagle Torch lighters. They are under $5 each (even cheaper online) and they work like a champ. Buy 3 or 5 of them and put them everywhere. You’re welcome.
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I’m now at the 1/2 way point and we have some changes. I now have less dried notes and a lot more tongue burn. I keep telling my tongue to man up because we are finishing this Punch but it keeps crying (salivating and spitting).
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Speaking of Marvel Movies, I told this kid at my church the other day (who is super nerdy about all things comic book related) that Batman is my favorite Marvel character in Star Wars and he almost had a hernia with his conniption fit. You should try it sometime!

You know that saying be careful what you wish for? Well, the final third. This thing went from boring to intense! Intense with harsh flavors of a wet animal. Like, tiger scrotum after being dragged through the Nile by a crocodile with halitosis. I want to put it out but I’m a man. A man who loves to feel like he’s conquered the impossible. The cigar doesn’t want me to finish it either as it begins to unravel. Quite fitting though since the flavor unraveled into the anal dump that it is now.
View attachment 116887

HELP ME, BABY JESUS!

Aaaaaand done!
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The cigar was okay. Nothing to get excited for but the journey through the jungle at the end was... different. I came (TWSS), I saw, I conquered. I’m feeling pretty good about myself and then...

...I noticed I still have 5 more of these DRP sticks to go through.

HELP ME AGAIN, BABY JESUS!
Click to expand...
So what I got is that the taste of tiger scrotum is okay for you.
 
EO80

EO80

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ApeSmokes said:
View attachment 116933

@herfdog , @Bondo 440 , @EO80

v2.0 is ready for review:
Read through a dog rocket load of old posts last night, gathered some more quotes. Also changed the background a little.

**Edit** Noticed a spelling error "chair cussion". Will fix that.
Click to expand...
I love it. I remember the 9 volt battery cigar!
Only notes...
Should "cat ass" be under the "ass" category instead of anatomy?
Also, plastic is spelled plactic under chemical category.
Otherwise, you have done a lot of research!
 
ApeSmokes

ApeSmokes

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Flavor_Wheel revised3.jpg

Here's v2.13a

Think we're getting close.
Fixed spelling errors, modified background (again). Most segments have a blank spot for future comments.

Any other issues let me know, otherwise think I'm done messing with it. Lots more I'd like to add, but it's already kinda cluttered so am resisting temptation.

@herfdog , @bwhite220 , @EO80
 
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