Holy sh1t you did it !! Nope I'm Thrilled !Gym Shorts,
Expired Tuna
Donkey Shart
Toddler Vomit
Mothballs
Swamp Ass
Saccharine
Foul
Nasty
Heinous
Charred hay,
And some others that I'm forgetting are all quotes from reviews.
A few of the other more "colorful" descriptions are made up (Scrotum salt, Aged smegma, ruptured abscess, plumed radish, sphincter dew, steamed trout, etc)
Others are generic (Sour milk, Pond scum, etc)
Then a few are "special" (Panama Red, Green Beans, Chalupa fart)
Can will replace any all. Just let me know
-
BOTL UPCOMING MAINTENANCE
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Luckysaturn13 s Dog Rocket Reviews!
- Thread starter luckysaturn13
- Start date
That really had to take hours . Looks like you did your homework, and I didn't .
- I move to make the Apesmokes DRP Flavor Wheel an official component of the DRP !
- @EO80 steps off the vote panel out of self-preservation
- @multi-useless will use the wheel as a guide to describe nausea
- @herfdog states we need elves
- I move to make the Apesmokes DRP Flavor Wheel an official component of the DRP !
- @EO80 steps off the vote panel out of self-preservation
- @multi-useless will use the wheel as a guide to describe nausea
- @herfdog states we need elves
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herfdog
I am no rocket surgeon
Yep. Elves and shit.
herfdog
I am no rocket surgeon
Yep. Elves. And shit.
bwhite220
Brandon | BotM Jan 2038
Well, it’s hot as balls outside so why not light up my first DRP cigar and make the situation worse! #AmIRight?
As I perused the cigars from the DRP:2018 box, I decided to start with the largest one to get it over with. I picked up this Punch that hails from some Country other than Cuba.
As I slid the cellophane off the cigar, I was taken aback by how yellow it was. I know that is normally a sign of age for a cigar but I’m pretty sure this one was just soaked in urine and turpentine at some point.
I snipped the tip with a perfecto cutter and the "fun" started. The head of this Punch now looks like it was a character in the game “Punchout!!”.
I pull that cap off of the cigar so I can do a cold draw. Tastes like grandma’s raisins. Sorry, not those raisins. I’m talking about Grandma’s Raisin’d toes after she sat in a bathtub too long because we forgot about her. Let me take a second cold draw to confirm - yep, definitely grandma’s raisins.
Let’s see what happens we set fire to this masterpiece of a Churchill.
Right out of the gate, this cigar is not bad. I’m actually offended that it’s not a bad tasting stick because I want this review to be honest and if it were a dumpster fire, I’d get to be creative with wordsmithing. Instead, I must tell you that it tastes like some kind of dried fruits. If you told me a cigar tasted like that, I’d think of potpourri from Grandma’s hou...CRAP!! I have to go check on grandma - brb!
Okay, I’m back. The cigar is still holding on strong - didn’t even have to relight it after checking on Grandma. She says, “hi” by the way.
Anyway, this punch is good. You know what’s NOT good? Ant-Man and the Wasp. Saw that movie yesterday and it is easily my least favorite Marvel movie. I’d give it 2.5 Thoraxes out of 10.
The first ash just fell off. Only lasted about a 1/2 inch worth before it fell.
This cigar reminds me of the San Antonio Spurs: solid execution but boring as Hell.
This cigar is ugly as sin but it’s actually decent. I think this would be an interesting Blind Review to send someone. I mean, it’s kind of like winning the Trailer Trash Beauty Pagent; you won a Beauty Pagent, but you’re still trailer trash. So, don’t get your hopes up too much but don’t get too disappointed, either.
As I wrap up the 1/3, I begin to notice that my tongue is beginning to feel a harsh layer of film on it. It’s offputting at first but I like the punishment. I bite down on the RBP that @NMPokerDealer sent me and it puts me at ease. (Thanks again!)
BTW, the ash is holding on much longer now. It’s currently at around 1.25” long (TWSS!). I guess the RBP set it at ease, too.
Another BTW: people ask all the time what is the best lighter to get and I always swear by these Eagle Torch lighters. They are under $5 each (even cheaper online) and they work like a champ. Buy 3 or 5 of them and put them everywhere. You’re welcome.
I’m now at the 1/2 way point and we have some changes. I now have less dried notes and a lot more tongue burn. I keep telling my tongue to man up because we are finishing this Punch but it keeps crying (salivating and spitting).
Speaking of Marvel Movies, I told this kid at my church the other day (who is super nerdy about all things comic book related) that Batman is my favorite Marvel character in Star Wars and he almost had a hernia with his conniption fit. You should try it sometime!
You know that saying be careful what you wish for? Well, the final third. This thing went from boring to intense! Intense with harsh flavors of a wet animal. Like, tiger scrotum after being dragged through the Nile by a crocodile with halitosis. I want to put it out but I’m a man. A man who loves to feel like he’s conquered the impossible. The cigar doesn’t want me to finish it either as it begins to unravel. Quite fitting though since the flavor unraveled into the anal dump that it is now.
HELP ME, BABY JESUS!
Aaaaaand done!
The cigar was okay. Nothing to get excited for but the journey through the jungle at the end was... different. I came (TWSS), I saw, I conquered. I’m feeling pretty good about myself and then...
...I noticed I still have 5 more of these DRP sticks to go through.
HELP ME AGAIN, BABY JESUS!
As I perused the cigars from the DRP:2018 box, I decided to start with the largest one to get it over with. I picked up this Punch that hails from some Country other than Cuba.
As I slid the cellophane off the cigar, I was taken aback by how yellow it was. I know that is normally a sign of age for a cigar but I’m pretty sure this one was just soaked in urine and turpentine at some point.
I snipped the tip with a perfecto cutter and the "fun" started. The head of this Punch now looks like it was a character in the game “Punchout!!”.
I pull that cap off of the cigar so I can do a cold draw. Tastes like grandma’s raisins. Sorry, not those raisins. I’m talking about Grandma’s Raisin’d toes after she sat in a bathtub too long because we forgot about her. Let me take a second cold draw to confirm - yep, definitely grandma’s raisins.
Let’s see what happens we set fire to this masterpiece of a Churchill.
Right out of the gate, this cigar is not bad. I’m actually offended that it’s not a bad tasting stick because I want this review to be honest and if it were a dumpster fire, I’d get to be creative with wordsmithing. Instead, I must tell you that it tastes like some kind of dried fruits. If you told me a cigar tasted like that, I’d think of potpourri from Grandma’s hou...CRAP!! I have to go check on grandma - brb!
Okay, I’m back. The cigar is still holding on strong - didn’t even have to relight it after checking on Grandma. She says, “hi” by the way.
Anyway, this punch is good. You know what’s NOT good? Ant-Man and the Wasp. Saw that movie yesterday and it is easily my least favorite Marvel movie. I’d give it 2.5 Thoraxes out of 10.
The first ash just fell off. Only lasted about a 1/2 inch worth before it fell.
This cigar reminds me of the San Antonio Spurs: solid execution but boring as Hell.
This cigar is ugly as sin but it’s actually decent. I think this would be an interesting Blind Review to send someone. I mean, it’s kind of like winning the Trailer Trash Beauty Pagent; you won a Beauty Pagent, but you’re still trailer trash. So, don’t get your hopes up too much but don’t get too disappointed, either.
As I wrap up the 1/3, I begin to notice that my tongue is beginning to feel a harsh layer of film on it. It’s offputting at first but I like the punishment. I bite down on the RBP that @NMPokerDealer sent me and it puts me at ease. (Thanks again!)
BTW, the ash is holding on much longer now. It’s currently at around 1.25” long (TWSS!). I guess the RBP set it at ease, too.
Another BTW: people ask all the time what is the best lighter to get and I always swear by these Eagle Torch lighters. They are under $5 each (even cheaper online) and they work like a champ. Buy 3 or 5 of them and put them everywhere. You’re welcome.
I’m now at the 1/2 way point and we have some changes. I now have less dried notes and a lot more tongue burn. I keep telling my tongue to man up because we are finishing this Punch but it keeps crying (salivating and spitting).
Speaking of Marvel Movies, I told this kid at my church the other day (who is super nerdy about all things comic book related) that Batman is my favorite Marvel character in Star Wars and he almost had a hernia with his conniption fit. You should try it sometime!
You know that saying be careful what you wish for? Well, the final third. This thing went from boring to intense! Intense with harsh flavors of a wet animal. Like, tiger scrotum after being dragged through the Nile by a crocodile with halitosis. I want to put it out but I’m a man. A man who loves to feel like he’s conquered the impossible. The cigar doesn’t want me to finish it either as it begins to unravel. Quite fitting though since the flavor unraveled into the anal dump that it is now.
HELP ME, BABY JESUS!
Aaaaaand done!
The cigar was okay. Nothing to get excited for but the journey through the jungle at the end was... different. I came (TWSS), I saw, I conquered. I’m feeling pretty good about myself and then...
...I noticed I still have 5 more of these DRP sticks to go through.
HELP ME AGAIN, BABY JESUS!
Thanks for clearing this up. I recalled the expired tuna . But then saw the scrotum stuff soGym Shorts,
Expired Tuna
Donkey Shart
Toddler Vomit
Mothballs
Swamp Ass
Saccharine
Foul
Nasty
Heinous
Charred hay,
And some others that I'm forgetting are all quotes from reviews.
A few of the other more "colorful" descriptions are made up (Scrotum salt, Aged smegma, ruptured abscess, plumed radish, sphincter dew, steamed trout, etc)
Others are generic (Sour milk, Pond scum, etc)
Then a few are "special" (Panama Red, Green Beans, Chalupa fart)
Can will replace any all. Just let me know
I'm doing the job I was voted to do. Preserve the Sacred Glory.You actually went back and did all that, that really is impressive. I think we have a nominee for a golden poop.
@bwhite220 holy sh1t this is hilarious ! Grandma's raisin toes ?
tiger scrotum after being dragged through the Nile by a crocodile with halitosis ?
@ApeSmokes can you get an abbreviated version of this somehow on the Official DRP 2018 Flavo Wheel?
I got a scoreboard to update !
tiger scrotum after being dragged through the Nile by a crocodile with halitosis ?
@ApeSmokes can you get an abbreviated version of this somehow on the Official DRP 2018 Flavo Wheel?
I got a scoreboard to update !
There was never a chance that "grandma's raisins" wasn't being added.
Tiger scrotum is a go as well.
Thanks for the review @bwhite220 .
Beautiful!!
Well, @bwhite220 's review has earned him the first-ever BP poop ! Congrats !
And he's threatening more rockets yet to smoke !!
Meanwhile, @ApeSmokes 's pinky-poop has finally lost it's panties !
And with that (tentative) Golden Poop ... Has taken the lead !!!!
But @NMPokerDealer said he's got another dog rocket to smoke.
An ambulance would really help him out here. .....
And it looks like double-trouble tracking heading @EO80 's way !
Nonstop Jackass Glory !!!!!
herfdog
Unpossible_1
irratebass
BigSkySmoke
Mr.Capo.907
akpreacherplayz
Prine
ApeSmokes
NMPokerDealer
bwhite220
Eo80
gobison
multi-useless
Avvatar
Tug197
Bondo 440
Opie
mitetak
ZippoGeek
And he's threatening more rockets yet to smoke !!
Meanwhile, @ApeSmokes 's pinky-poop has finally lost it's panties !
And with that (tentative) Golden Poop ... Has taken the lead !!!!
But @NMPokerDealer said he's got another dog rocket to smoke.
An ambulance would really help him out here. .....
And it looks like double-trouble tracking heading @EO80 's way !
Nonstop Jackass Glory !!!!!
herfdog
Unpossible_1
irratebass
BigSkySmoke
Mr.Capo.907
akpreacherplayz
Prine
ApeSmokes
NMPokerDealer
bwhite220
Eo80
gobison
multi-useless
Avvatar
Tug197
Bondo 440
Opie
mitetak
ZippoGeek
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bwhite220
Brandon | BotM Jan 2038
BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! How in the world did you pull that off!? Freaking hilarious!
Still have one mor rocket, plus 2 Acids. Was holding off for a vHerf...Well, @bwhite220 's review has earned him the first-ever BP poop ! Congrats !
And he's threatening more rockets yet to smoke !!
Meanwhile, @ApeSmokes 's pinky-poop has finally lost it's panties !
And with that (tentative) Golden Poop ... Has taken the lead !!!!
But @NMPokerDealer said he's got another dog rocket to smoke.
An ambulance would really help him out here. .....
And it looks like double-trouble tracking heading @EO80 's way !
Nonstop Jackass Glory !!!!!
herfdog
Unpossible_1
irratebass
BigSkySmoke
Mr.Capo.907
akpreacherplayz
Prine
ApeSmokes
NMPokerDealer
bwhite220
Eo80
gobison
multi-useless
Avvatar
Tug197
Bondo 440
Opie
mitetak
ZippoGeek
Not sure how I feel about the GBP emoji that @bwhite220 got...
It's completely awesome, but are you sure it shouldn't be inserted in the other end?
herfdog
I am no rocket surgeon
I am confused. Wasn't the golden poop awarded for getting an awesome pull on the Rocket roullete and guessing it isn't crap?
Well I thought it was for AKpreacher's spectacular, moving write up of the values and comradery of the DRP. You approved it.
I believe @EO80 was impressed enough to also grant him a permanent play position on the DRP.
edit / nope page 224-225 Eran grants Apesmokes a permanent seat for his comical write up
A second Golden nominee came by , you down voted that one, I think that's how Ape wound up with a panty-poop, I think...
edit / yep page 225
To be perfectly honest, Yan, The "keeper of the sacred scroll's" research apparently isn't very thorough today...
... so you're welcome to look any of this up and report back.
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Glassman
Glass Gars Guns Garden
It is glorious!
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herfdog
I am no rocket surgeon
Well I stick with my story. Golden poop is a prize awarded for exemplary rocketry. Good write-ups get fancy-pantsy-poopy@herfdog I'm mentioning a Golden Poop for the CAIN about 12 pages back.
So I don't know what qualifies the golden poop, I guess.
But Apesmokes should be stuck with it .
Well, you were correct. That's why approval is required from the board. My details were actually spot-on. Just had two people mixed up.
Had a crazy day yesterday. House next door is a rental, and the girl there was doing some amateur bee keeping. The couple moved out a week ago, and she came back for the hive yesterday around noon. Apparently she decided to leave the damn bees though, because soon after she left we discovered a giant swarm in the back of our yard. Hey, thanks lady. They were those orange honey bees, but still, were not very happy. Plus I was out there doing yard work and the drinking began. The bee-riot didn't settle down until after dinner. We just endured it, we knew they would eventually disperse. I still got chased 4 or 5 times yesterday by a few scouts that ventured out of the main perimeter while cutting the grass. I couldn't cut back by the shed it was too bee-sy over there.
Writing this now, I realize I shoulda took a picture for the "outdoor wildlife" thread over there ....
OK about this award .... I'll craft something up today and exchange out the golden poop for something appropriate.
I believe Harlan may also have an updated wheel today as well.