Ok. Just rip off the bandaid, right?
The day started out auspicious enough....nursing a well-deserved hangover I took the 25 minute trip to Platte City, or now referred to as "that place where cigars were ruined forever" and brought my mini-me with me. I also brought a couple of the Penny coladas for the boys to partake in, a bag of spicy pork rinds to fix my palate, and some high quality h2o.
Steve is running late due to "work issues " and we both know that is really code for "fuck this shit"....so we get Ben out fishing and Craig and I decide to get started. He started with the Penny Colada and I went for the Panama Red.
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As you can tell the serene setting was perfect, and the bloody mary He greeted me with was stellar. All in all a great time...until wtf, WHY DID I SIT DOWNWIND OF CRAIG?!
Reliving the odor of the Penny Colada was akin to being jump scared by Chucky.....it sucks.
Fortunately for me, the PR started out ok....but why is it burning so slow? Flavors were just mild not too tasty cigar.....until they werent. Ill come back to that.
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It took some attention to keep it lit and burning properly, and Craig was egging me on to just puff harder....asshat. i didn't....but my god this was a 2 hour smoke! Craig smoked 3 sticks in the amount of time this bastard took! Into the midway point I was getting barnyard hay that was recently shoveled out of a horse stall....cause there is horse hair burning in there....Id swear to it. Contruction began to be a challenge...
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And. Craig is funny sometimes
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I have more pics but the site says they're too large (I get that all the time) so suffice it to say I finished what would have to be described as the best smoke of the day.
Next came the bastardization Preacher made. This was horrible. Like really really really bad.
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I know your god is a forgiving god....but IDK if hes gonna let this one pass. You sir are not allowed to infuse again mkay?
This Bastard was tighter than
@Lok17 when he was a ballerina. Using a draw tool only ensured that my first puff made me inhale the fine ground pencil lead....cause thats what it tastes like....deep in my throat so I wont soon forget the flavor.
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This is the point we started imbibing anything to kill the flavor...It didnt. It was like trying to kill Michael Meyers.....it just kept coming super slow and steady. I dont want to ruin this for whoever is down the line, but this shit sucked. Kudos.
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Smoking the band helped this one, but again with the too big pics. It was at this point I realized it wasnt a headache...I now have stage 4 brain cancer from whatever was in this.
Next up, cause fuuuuuck it, right?! The A-crop I chose....well some call it plume....Ima call it what it was....mold....was furry. I figured my body could really use the penicillin at this point, so I smoked it anyhow!
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I dont remember what this tasted like because I was already retreating to my happy place and the pounding head was demanding that I schedule my lobotomy STAT, so the fact is I smoked it, and the only way to properly describe it would be....sadness.
It tasted just like sadness. Worse than a lazy handjob sadness...more like your dog was taken by a cougar in front of you and molested then eaten. That sadness.
Fortunately because of the mold I only smoked the first half then pitched it in favor of a "normal" cigar.
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Craig was half drunk and well....this belongs here doesn't it?
The ONLY redeemer for the day was all the great rum we sampled afterwards. He started us on a 120 proof to burn off our surviving taste buds, and a good time was had.
K Im going to go see my oncologist....bye.
