Tell us a joke.

[rev.b]

Sometimes I here jokes that are just funny as hell and would love to share them with the BOTL/SOTL as I'm sure all of you run accross a good laugh so lets see them on here. Post up people and let them fly. If you take offence to rude, harsh or vulgar language I recomend you leave this thread and not read any further.

Guess I'll start with this one:

An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

'Fred,' he replies.

'Fred what?' the officer asks.

'Just Fred,' the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break, and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.

The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'

The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD. Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.'

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

 

[Agentskull]

I love jokes. Hope this takes off

Sent from my HTC One V using Tapatalk 4

 

[bdc30]

Me too - but in the comedy forum

 

[rev.b]

Me too - but in the comedy forum

I didn't realize there was a comedy forum. Sorry bud is it possible to move it?

 

[bdc30]

one step ahead of ya

carry on

 

[rev.b]

one step ahead of ya

carry on

Ty I'll learn these thread categories one day

 

[rev.b]

I love jokes. Hope this takes off

Sent from my HTC One V using Tapatalk 4

C'mon Skully post a joke brother

 

[Agentskull]

God man, the one that comes to mind I don't know if even your disclaimer will save me from lol.

Sent from my HTC One V using Tapatalk 4

 

[rev.b]

Lol as long as they're not racial I think you'll be OK lol

 

[Agentskull]

I sent to you on pm. Judge for yourself. No and it's not racist.


Sent from my HTC One V using Tapatalk 4

 

[rev.b]

I'm fat old and fugly but I can laugh at all that since I'm very open minded I'm sure this thread will eventually piss someone off but hope that if any rubs them the wrong way they just laugh and go on to the next one.

 

[King Kill 33]

Like your joke Rev. Heard it before with a guy named Earl Mydinky. Must have been the Canadian version.


KK33

 

[rev.b]

Like your joke Rev. Heard it before with a guy named Earl Mydinky. Must have been the Canadian version.


KK33

C'mon Doug post one let's gets this rolling

 

[King Kill 33]

A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop.


KK33

 

[rev.b]

What did the banana say to the vibrator??

What the hell you shaking for she's gonna eat me!!!

 

[Agentskull]

What did the banana say to the vibrator??

What the hell you shaking for she's gonna eat me!!!

That's more awkward than a midget walking up to you and telling you, your hair smells nice.

 

[rev.b]

LITTLE JOHNNY

While in the playground with his friend, Little Johnny noticed that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch. "Did you get that for your birthday?" asked Little Johnny. "Nope." replied Jimmy. "Well, did you get it for Christmas then?". Again Jimmy says "Nope." "You didn't steal it, did you?" asks Little Johnny. "No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night when they were 'doing the nasty'. Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me.
Little Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous of Jimmy's new watch. He vowed to get one for himself. That night, he waited outside his parents' bedroom until he heard the unmistakable noises of
lovemaking. Just then, he swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom. His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and said angrily. "What do you want now?" "I wanna watch," Johnny replied.

Without missing a stroke, his father said, "Fine. Stand in the corner and watch, but keep quiet."

 

[pbibby]

Wow......... Bahahahahahahahahahahaha!

 

[rev.b]

During his monthly visit to the corner barbershop, this fellow asked his barber for any suggestions on how to treat his increasing baldness. After a brief pause, the barber leaned over and confided that the best thing he'd come across was, er, female juices. "But you're balder than I am," protested the customer. "True," admitted the barber, "but you've gotta admit I've got one hell of a mustache!"

 

[rev.b]

Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse slams a shot of scotch, and pounds the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says: "When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back, and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, and then bench press it 100 times."

The second mouse orders up two shots of tequila. He grabs one in each paw, slams the shots, and pounds the glasses to the bar. He turns to the other mice and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can and take it home. In the morning, I grind it up into a powder and put it in my coffee so I get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and fuck the cat."