Tell us a joke.

[rev.b]

If you think life is bad... How would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You only get eaten once. It takes 4 minutes to get hard. Only 2 minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys. But worst of all. The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother. So cheer up... Your life ain't that bad!

 

[rev.b]

A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Anthony proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked. "Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a Hell." Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."

 

[Agentskull]

Should pace yourself man keep this going longer

Sent from my HTC One V using Tapatalk 4

 

[rev.b]

The manufacturers of KY Jelly have announced that their product is now fully Year 2000 compliant. In the light of this they have now renamed it as: 'Y2KY Jelly'. Said a spokesman: "The main benefit of this revision to our product, is that you can now insert four digits into your date instead of two"

 

[rev.b]

Dude I know a lot of jokes

 

[rev.b]

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free."

The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"

 

[King Kill 33]

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free."

The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"

Haha


KK33

 

[rev.b]

Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?


A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

 

[rev.b]

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

The Teacher fainted.

 

[rev.b]

....ok guys your turn I'm tired of typing lol

 

[Agentskull]

....ok guys your turn I'm tired of typing lol

Oh gosh. It's going to be real quiet tonight... Bad joke I know lol

Sent from my HTC One V using Tapatalk 4

 

[icehog3]

Take my wife. Please.

 

[rev.b]

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnnys' dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!!" His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommys' balloons and she's screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!"

 

[rev.b]

One day the teacher walked to the back of the room where Johnny was, and he had his hand down his pants.

The Teacher asked, "Johnny, what are you doing?"

Then, Johnny said, "It hurts down there."

"Well then, you need to go to the nurse and see if you can go home", said the teacher.

A little while later, Johnny came back to classroom and sat back down.

Then the teacher came to the back of the room again, and he had his dick haging out of his pants.

The teacher said, "Johnny, what's that doing hanging out of your pants?!"

Then Johnny said, "My mommy said if I can stick it out until noon, she'll come and pick me up."

 

[rev.b]

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It says Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution 10 Miles. He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign which says Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution 5 Miles and realizes that these signs are for real. When he drives past a third sign saying Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution Next Right, his curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive.

On the far side of the parking lot is a sombre stone building with a small sign next to the door reading SISTERS OF MERCY. He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks "What may we do for you, my son?" He answers "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."

"Very well, my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door, and tells the man "Please knock on this door." He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in a long habit and holding a tin cup. This nun instructs "Please place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway." He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup.

He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him. As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:

Go in Peace, You Have Just Been Screwed by the Sisters of Mercy.

 

[rev.b]

Little mdwest was sitting in the park one day eating chocolate bars.

An old man comes along and sits next to him.

Little mdwest proceeds to eat more bars.

After the forth bar the man says to him don't you think your eating too many chocolate bars.

Little mdwest tells says to him my grandfather lived to be 110 years old.

The old man looking surprised said really from eating a lot of chocolate bars like that.

Little mdwest says no from minding his own fucking business.

 

[Agentskull]

Louis and Clark are on their expedition. They are guided by an Indian. It is early afternoon but they are not sure what time it is. So they ask their guide. He walks away from the group. They come upon him a few minutes later laying naked in the middle of the field with his dick standing straight up in the air and he tells them it is 11 o'clock.

As the day progresses and they are thinking about dinner. They ask their guide what time it is again. He walks away from the group. Again they come upon him a few minutes later laying naked in the middle of the field with his dick standing straight up in the air and tells them it is 5 o'clock.

Finally dusk is settling and they come upon the guide laying naked in the field, but this time he is jerking off. Offended they ask him what he is doing.

He tells them "Winding my watch"

 

[rev.b]

hahahahaha:hysterica

 

[d-boy]

Two drunks are sitting in a bar one night watching the 11pm news and a man is about to jump off a bridge.

The one drunk says I bet you $20 that he jumps.

The other drunk says okay I don't think he's going too.

They keep watching and tragically the man jumps..

The one drunk then says, I can't take your money as I saw this on the 5pm news.

The other drunk says, well so did I but I thought he wouldn't jump this time...

Lol, I thought this was hilarious, but maybe not that funny to everyone else.

 

[rev.b]

Lol keep it up guys