"The Never Ending Thread."

[Angry Bill]

the city morgue. My brother cries out and says, "What the hell did you get me into." I lift the humidor inside the morgue and peer under a sheet, seeing a person without a face. Suddenly, I catch a movement to my left and see a drawer slowly open. My brother grabs my arm and says....

 

[Fidel]

..."time to go outside for a smoke", as he drags me and the humi through the swinging doors at a dead run. "What we need right now is a...

 

[Mickeyray5]

I come back to consciousness as the neighbor girl slaps me again.
" And that one is for looking up my skirt as I pulled you out of the sewer! The gas down there made you pass out. It was a good thing my friends on the cheer leading squad came by when they did!"

 

[bballbaby]

As i shook my head in an effort to help bring me back to reality, this young beautiful vixen with shimmering skin slaps me again, only this time it's not a hard, stinging slap, but a playful slap. And while she "slapped" me, she coaxingly said, "You are a naughty boy, aren't you."

It was then that i noticed that she was holding...

 

[Trumpetchris]

A machete. "F that noise!" I say, "I'm not into that." I run into the woods behind my house, the psycho machete-wielding bitch close at my heels. I feel like Indiana Jones running from the Hovitos, but without the benefit of a buddy in an airplane at the other end of the forest. I come to a clearing in the trees, and see...

 

[dpricenator]

Ironicly enough......My buddy waiting, to help me escape in his new helicopter. I close the door to the chopper just in time to block a flying machete. We hit the throttle and just as we get airborne, i see the crazy chick jump and grab the landing gear. She is now hanging fromour chopper as we fly hundreds of feet in the air...

 

[Daviso27]

To my surprise, she is still hangin'on...the pilot began to fly low over some trees...we heard a SMACK! She hit a redwood! As we cheered, the pilot noticed the fuel level dropping...It must have been pierced by a branch! We had to land quick! As we landed in an open field...we were welcomed by a Nomadic tribe known as the WATEKAY Tribe...and their leader looked like Gilbert Grape's Mom! And then...

 

[bballbaby]

....................

 

[Greg]

As we we were instantly greeted by the tribe, we were instantly captured and tied with rope as well, each secured to a thick wooden pole located at the center of their village. Soon thereafter, what appeared to be the village leader approached us, and with a furious, yet curious leer, he spoke to us in English and said, "I will give each of you 2 choices: You can choose either DEATH, or Ru Ru...."

 

[JRL]

Ru Ru I mumbled to my buddy. What the hell is Ru Ru I asked? He told me that I didn't want to know. Ru Ru is an ancient ritual involving....

 

[bballbaby]

being stripped nekkid and...

 

[Fidel]

...staked to an anthill by a trio of equally nekkid young beauties who then proceed to...

 

[bballbaby]

...slather your johnson with honey and lick the ants off as they make their way to the honey.

So i says to my buddy..."What the hell do you mean i don't wanna know what RU Ru is?!?!"

I turn my head to the fat leader of the tribe and with my eyes full of wild excitement yell :drool:, "RU RU!!! Give me the RU Ru!!"

The leader calmly turns to me and...

 

[Daviso27]

said..."I hope you've had your fiber today!" I replied....

 

[bballbaby]

SMACK!!!

I was awakened yet again from my dellusional trance by the gorgeous neighbor girl slapping me across the face.

She said, "My gosh Mr. Feltersnatch. Are you okay?"

She was leaning over me peering right into my glazed eyes and i couldn't help but...

 

[JRL]

sneeze all over her breasts. Damn I hate the spring time, allergies are a killer. Out of pure reaction I proceeded to wipe the snot off her breast when she told me....

 

[Klusterbuck]

that's almost as warm as when Billy splattered me with.....

 

[Trumpetchris]

Elk's blood. "He was a freak" she said. Fortunately, my phone rang at that moment. Wanting to escape this awkward position, I excused myself and walked inside to answer it. It was my cousin, working in Egypt. "You gotta come see me, there's someone after me!"

I asked him what was happening, and he said "I'm at the University of Cairo...." and the phone line went dead.

I immediately went online to purchase a plane ticket. 900 dollars later, I was heading to the airport.

Checking in, I saw I was sitting next to...

 

[bballbaby]

...Chef Paul Prudhomme.

There wasn't a whole lot of room, but that's ok because he had...

 

[Klusterbuck]

an ipod. And we listened to the entire 4cd box set of Led Zeppelin. About a third of the way into the song Kashmir..........