Corrupt-a-wish

[MBarone]

granted. Unfortunately you were disowned at birth because you're ugly

I wish my wife would just chill out sometimes

granted, whenever she needs to calm down she goes shopping spending no less than $3000 of your hard earned blowjob money

i wish i had a pet elephant

 

[Otaku]

granted, but it only has front legs and always has explosive diarrhea.

I wish my dog could speak english

 

[MBarone]

granted, but it only has front legs and always has explosive diarrhea.

I wish my dog could speak english

granted, but he only talks trash about you.

I wish I was a co-founder of microsoft

 

[stroke]

granted, but he only talks trash about you.

I wish I was a co-founder of microsoft

you are, but Bill stole the copy rights for Microsoft and you get no credit.

I wish I wasn't so tired right now!

 

[Treinenwj]

you are, but Bill stole the copy rights for Microsoft and you get no credit.

I wish I wasn't so tired right now!

Granted, but later you will be so tired you'll fall asleep at the wheel.

I wish Santa was real! (Sorry if I destroyed anybody's illusion)

 

[VillageIdiot]

Granted, but unfortunately, you are on the naughty list. You get nothing.

I wish my wife's cats would run away.

 

[Treinenwj]

Granted, but unfortunately, you are on the naughty list. You get nothing.

I wish my wife's cats would run away.

Granted, but they all come back... each with a mate and a litter of kittens.

I wish I found BOTL earlier!

 

[Treinenwj]

bumpus

 

[theribdoctor]

Granted, but they all come back... each with a mate and a litter of kittens.

I wish I found BOTL earlier!

granted, but it is rotting your brain, quickly.

I wish I had enough money to not work again.

 

[tsimonitis]

Granted by you must watch The View every morning and Oprah every afternoon.

I wish that I could star in the next James Bond movie.

 

[theribdoctor]

Granted by you must watch The View every morning and Oprah every afternoon.

I wish that I could star in the next James Bond movie.

granted, but you'll get herpes from sleeping with the bond girl.

I wish I owned a bbq restaurant.

 

[tsimonitis]

Granted but it is Vegan BBQ...

I wish that I could Party with the stones circa 1975

 

[WkndSmoker]

Granted.

However it is with the Flintstones!


I wish for a 9 inch pianist.

 

[tsimonitis]

Granted but your pianist has stagefrieght and can never perform.

I wish I had a vacation home in Key West

 

[Treinenwj]

Granted but it just got destroyed by a hurricane
I wish my local B & M had Tats.

 

[Clint]

Granted but it just got destroyed by a hurricane
I wish my local B & M had Tats.

Granted, but B&M now stands for bowel movement.
I wish I had the keys to Fort Knox

 

[swat253]

Granted, but they've changed the locks to a Retina Recognition Biometric System.

I wish all my wishes came true

 

[Treinenwj]

Granted, but you can't stop wishing for diarrhea.

I wish I owned Microsoft.

 

[andy]

Granted. But you have to serve Steve Jobs waffles in a thong for life.

I wish I knew my CC's.

 

[Treinenwj]

Granted-- So does the ATF

I wish I had a $10,000 shopping spree at Best Buy.