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How do you manage anger?

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Cognitive behavioral therapy. You can't control your first reaction, but it's your choice how your going to deal with it and help the situation. Usually when I am mad, I have to remember "first thought wrong" because 9 out of 10 times, my choice is not usually the best.
 
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Well first, if you are getting angrier as you drink... Then stop drinking if you are angry. For some people, having a drink calms them down, for others it fuels the anger, you need to come to terms with which way it affects you. The other thing you must accept is, you cannot control what other people do, you can only control your reaction to them. I was a happy drunk, so drinking usually calmed my anger. My ex was a mean drunk, which is why she is now an ex. My problem was that once I started drinking I couldn't stop, which is why I haven 't started in a long time. Dealing with anger while sober was one of the first things I had to come to terms with.
 

Hoshneer

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I agree with some other people. The only way to control anger is to let it go. The only control you have is your own. Letting people make you angry not only makes you do stupid things but in most cases it let's them take control over you.
 
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I've always had anger issues because I don't talk to anyone and bottle my feelings up but seriously what I do 99.9% of the time is put my head phones in and tune into my favorite station on pandora. I can just tune the world out and clear my head. It gives me time to think why I am angry and if I have a good enough reason to stay angry. Majority of the time I talk myself out of it.
 

BradMc

<b>Charity Liaison</b><br>BoM September 07
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I agree with all ....However, "How do you manage anger" U ask ......Well most of my anger came from Stress, Like my tag line says "I don't have Stress I Cause it"
Another management of Anger for me ........Retirement
 
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All this advice is much easier said than done when in your situation. I was in a similar but less complicated place like you two months ago. I was still living with my wife who was, rather arrogantly, having an affair, all while telling me she didn't want a divorce. I didn't handle it so well at times. I said shit I shouldn't have (more for legal reasons), and did stuff I shouldn't have (again for legal concern). I eventually was able to take a step back when I realized I did nothing wrong and that she was a morally bankrupt adulterous whore. So when that happened I stoped being angry and just started making jokes about her and her boyfriend, which made her super passed and uncomfortable. I was able to show her that I wasn't angry and she couldn't control my emotions anymore. It was the sweetest way I could find to "get even". I know this is tough for you, way more difficult than what I dealt with because you have kids. You need to find peace with the fact you can only influence your reactions and your actions. I am sure you will continue to slip up here and there, I did, but you will find it easier with time. Finding an impartial person that.doesn't know either of you could possibly help too. I know it helped me.
 
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Generally if you have problems with being angry often or not being able to deal with aggression issues, it is the sign of some severe problems that need psychologist help or specific medicine. So I would do that.

For the rare time when something serious bothers me, I simply play a game or meet up with friends for a cigar or hangout.
 

Hoshneer

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The bigger question is why do you have my photo on your phone set to me taking a shower drinking a beer?
The true question is....If that shower photo is really you, then who is the guy in your avatar pic? A younger you? Your son? (So confused....)
Those are both me there is maybe a 70 difference but it's me. Do they really look that much different?
 
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Generally if you have problems with being angry often or not being able to deal with aggression issues, it is the sign of some severe problems that need psychologist help or specific medicine. So I would do that.

For the rare time when something serious bothers me, I simply play a game or meet up with friends for a cigar or hangout.
I am sorry but I disagree with that comment partially. Going and speaking with a professional is a great idea, being medicated cause of emotions is a little extreme.

I don't think medication solves anything just drowns it away like booze and other such items. What happens one day if the pills aren't within reach? Everything that has been pushed below the surface comes pouring out with vengeance and not control. Just my opinion and I've been through anger management.
 

Clint

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The bigger question is why do you have my photo on your phone set to me taking a shower drinking a beer?
The true question is....If that shower photo is really you, then who is the guy in your avatar pic? A younger you? Your son? (So confused....)
Those are both me there is maybe a 70 difference but it's me. Do they really look that much different?
You mean a 70% difference in humidity cause of the shower, right?
 

Hoshneer

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The bigger question is why do you have my photo on your phone set to me taking a shower drinking a beer?
The true question is....If that shower photo is really you, then who is the guy in your avatar pic? A younger you? Your son? (So confused....)
Those are both me there is maybe a 70 difference but it's me. Do they really look that much different?
You mean a 70% difference in humidity cause of the shower, right?
Sorry meant 70 lb difference in weight.
 

Clint

Clint
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The bigger question is why do you have my photo on your phone set to me taking a shower drinking a beer?
The true question is....If that shower photo is really you, then who is the guy in your avatar pic? A younger you? Your son? (So confused....)
Those are both me there is maybe a 70 difference but it's me. Do they really look that much different?
You mean a 70% difference in humidity cause of the shower, right?
Sorry meant 70 lb difference in weight.
I feel bad continuing this threadjack....BUT

Yes, there is a bit of a difference, but who cares? It's your big, generous heart that we care about most :)
 
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10 minute cool off period before I pick up phone, email, etc. This small amount of time shockingly makes much better personal and business decisions.
 

The EVP

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I go for a drive and break out my camera. Taking photos sometimes helps me forget what I'm upset about because all the things I have to think about to get a good shot starts to occupy my brain.
 
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I used to struggle with anger but I have found ways to get my mind off of it..go for a walk play a game take deep breaths if u can distract yourself you will find that you will calm down faster I kno this is what works for me but mabey it can give u some ideas
 

ENV

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I jerk off a lot.... Sometimes I get drunk and then jerk off. If I drink too much it gets awkward when I have tears running down my face while I do the first two.
I missed this post and the following text discussion with the shower picture. From now on when I get angry I will just come in here and read this.

Laughed uncontrollably
 
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Generally if you have problems with being angry often or not being able to deal with aggression issues, it is the sign of some severe problems that need psychologist help or specific medicine. So I would do that.

For the rare time when something serious bothers me, I simply play a game or meet up with friends for a cigar or hangout.
I am sorry but I disagree with that comment partially. Going and speaking with a professional is a great idea, being medicated cause of emotions is a little extreme.

I don't think medication solves anything just drowns it away like booze and other such items. What happens one day if the pills aren't within reach? Everything that has been pushed below the surface comes pouring out with vengeance and not control. Just my opinion and I've been through anger management.
Depends on the medication. Chronic depression (which can cause anger) is the result of the body's inability to produce enough Serotonin and anti-depressants merely help the body produce more. And they're not like Tylenol where you only take them when you have a headache. They can take weeks to build up in your system to where they are being effective so, if you find yourself having forgotten to take them, you'll notice but it won't (or shouldn't be) debilitating.

Anxiety medication, OTOH...

But, absolutely, start seeing a therapist if your insurance or budget allows for it.

Or buy a motorcycle. It's like the old saying, "you never see a motorcycle parked outside a psychiatrist's office"
 
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