My Dog Rocket for the challenge was the CU-AVANA 7x50 ChurchHill. Guess I am supposed to believe this is
CUban-h
AVANA build. A quick google and it looks like C.I. actually carries this disgraceful stick.
The squeeze on this stick is pretty hard, doesn't have much give to it. This would be a laughable statement except I know what's in store for me here. This thing doesn't even smell good. It's like the smell that hits you when you get a box of shoes at the department store and open the box to try them on. .. A smell of rubber and leather. Smells like this thing was manufactured in a porn store. That's not good news either.
I had one of these about 7 months ago and threw it away after five minutes. Four more have been aging, awaiting Devine Intervention, on the floor of my humidor. Partially because tray space is a premium and cigars I don't smoke won't get valet parking in the Bondo-dor. But more likely I kept the bastarded sticks on the bottom so they would not contaminate anything else. Stored at 65RH, it shouldn't be dried out. The gillotine cutter chopped, the shoulder started to unravel. So I peeled that off. Pre draw also some slight resistance. WTF is with this thing? It's like a stick .
[FIRST TURD] 1:50PM - Paired beverage is a Coke Zero. Quite appropriate, since I expect zero out of this cigar.
Dog rocket lit, and onward we go !! with pure tobacco enjoyment !.
Already, It's on like Donkey Wrong ! The smoke production is lame, weak whisps of smoke. More like a cigarette. And this thing is a bat.. so go figure. Plus, it's an ugly, noxious, blue smoke off the cigar. I'm serious. Tried a couple of pictures, it's hard to see. But it was pretty obvious in the sun today. The draw resists a little. This is like trying to smoke a dowell.
Well, here's a picture of me trying to get through the "first turd".. I am trying to identify this profile. But it is more like a "nofile". It's not the bean - nut... It's not earth - barnyard.... It's not spice.... nothing on the 'flavor wheel' categories for this unpleasant taste on my lips, that makes me think there is a Crayola Crayon in here. This cigar would make a cigar beetle consider a career change. I am really fighting the urge to get away from this smoking concoction of wrapped refuse. My only salvation are the periodic Asparatame - Phenylalanine flushes from my Coke Zero.
[SECOND TURD] 2:20PM - Well, I'm just doing this for the MO Crew. And for the ESTI cause. But there is nothing smoke worthy at all about this. It is actually unenjoyable, and difficult to continue. The only way to endure this is to set goals. I'm going to keep going until 2:50 ( means 1 full hour smoking completed )... I'm going to keep going until I run out of Coke Zero. ( Oh God the beverage is necessary, believe me !!) or lastly, I finish the cigar, which is the most unlikely of the scenarios. I'll be dead first. They'll find me surrounded by a thin ghostly whisp of blue smoke as a testament to my stubborness.
Yeah sorry my hands are a little dirty. I did those front drilled slotted rotors for my wagon last week, and although the stuttering has ceased, the pedal feels a little spongy. The calipers are good but the passenger rear had a busted bleed screw. So today I bled it via the feed line. I think there's still air in there so I'm replacing it tomorrow.
OK so anyway, back to this disaster. During the "second turd" I figured out the flavor profile. You can sample it right right now. Go get the old style BIC pen with the removable cap. Chew on the cap for five minutes. Spit it out. Now. Taste that?
That's the flavor profile of this cigar. BIC Pen top.
"Licked 12 postage stamps taste" highlights on the retrohale..
[TURD TURD]2:50PM Well I just got into the last turd of this thng and saved by the bell !! It's been an hour, and I'm out of sweet, Pen Top chewing Chemical Soda Flush so I'm done.
I wanted an appropriate goodbye to this experience. On the internet there are these "cigar etiquette" articles. They say you should not squish a cigar when done. They say it is an insult to the cigar maker.
Well, looks like I may finally get some enjoyment out of this cigar, after all !!!
The insides of this thing. No BIC pen tops or crayons.
Smoke after flavorful smoke, Cu-Avana is consistently delicious and quite relaxing with nary a bad burn or dud in a dozen boxes. Despite the smooth and unobtrusive taste, there are some subtle yet distinct flavors of creamy spiciness, along with some coffee and almost lemon-like flavors, making this light cigar a treat you can enjoy any time of day. 
![2015-05-09 00.40.05 [1600x1200].jpg](/data/attachments/46/46315-d3633134efbdc2cd9124c183dbc3fb61.jpg)
