the OE15 Dog Rocket Challenge!!!
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8ball
Ruler of Grayskull
That paper clip story is awesome. If I tried to do that on Craigslist, I'd probably get kidnapped.I havent done a review in several years, so I really hope Im able to pinpoint the flavors in this stick, and convey them accurately so that the reader feels as if they are here smoking it right alongside me. But not too close.
Ok todays smoke is the wonderful Pleiades Overruns - Cruzeros in about a 7.5" x 42 size. I cant find much about it online, they were supposed to have been aging for 11 years back when they were being sold in 2010 or 2011, so its probably almost old enough to get its drivers license now.
Prelight it smells like old hay & tobacco. Light it up without toasting, in between my puffs a thick black smoke comes off the foot of it, kind of like the smokestack on the 18 wheelers back in the 70's.
Im kind of cheating here, because im mowing the lawn while im smoking this...
1/3 stats out with a little bitterness (probably from lighting it), and a mix of hay & tobacco (sounds familiar)
2/3 continues and transitions in flavors of hay and tobacco, and a bonus of kind of nutty taste
The red object in the background is the worlds largest red paperclip, which if youre not familiar with it, has an amazing story behind it.
down to 3/3 now, and as you probably guessed, more hay and tobacco, and occasionally the nutty taste
I smoked about 15 more minutes, until it reached the band. The flavor stayed the same but seemed to be putting out a good bit of nicotine. It is not enjoyable at this point, so I lay it down.
This was not a terrible stick, nor was it an overly good one.Very one dimensional. It stayed burning the whole time I was mowing & weedwhacking, and kept a very nice burn line the whole time until I put it down.
SouthernerInSask
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Alright brothers, we're 2 weeks into this thing, so it's time for week in review!
Before we begin, @luuckysaturn13 atoned for his Kismet submission by smoking this, a Cuvee Rogue, pics of which he couldn't get to post, but texted to me as proof:
Between this and his other contributions this week, we're counting the Kismet - which brings us to 10 dog rockets + 5 bonus points for some truly epic reviews on the week. So, $20 from week 1 plus 15 from week 2, puts us at 35 - but wait, we're not done yet!
The biggest boost to our efforts here this week comes from @SouthernerInSask , who (as you probably already saw) is matching me for every dollar raised here on this thread!!! So 35 bucks x 2, puts us at $70 for the kids of Esteli, and a whole lot of laughs and brotherly love, that we've generated so far!
What does week 3 have in store for us? Stay tuned to find out!
Before we begin, @luuckysaturn13 atoned for his Kismet submission by smoking this, a Cuvee Rogue, pics of which he couldn't get to post, but texted to me as proof:
Between this and his other contributions this week, we're counting the Kismet - which brings us to 10 dog rockets + 5 bonus points for some truly epic reviews on the week. So, $20 from week 1 plus 15 from week 2, puts us at 35 - but wait, we're not done yet!
The biggest boost to our efforts here this week comes from @SouthernerInSask , who (as you probably already saw) is matching me for every dollar raised here on this thread!!! So 35 bucks x 2, puts us at $70 for the kids of Esteli, and a whole lot of laughs and brotherly love, that we've generated so far!
What does week 3 have in store for us? Stay tuned to find out!
c.ortiz108
The fly in the ointment.
Wait, aren't Cuvee's supposed to be kind of high class sticks, made by Davidoff? You guys seem to have a pretty low dog rocket threshold. I'm gonna smoke some piece of crap called Opus X tomorrow and you better pay up for those kids!
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LOL, I assumed it was a turd until you made me question it... so I went to CI, and they only had good things to say about it... (damn, maybe you're right...) but sloppycom shows fivers going for 13 bucks avg, so I'm counting it. Only $1 though, because no review...
which is really my only disappointment here so far, because lucky's rocket reviews are legendary - but I also know that he's got a lot going on lately, so I can't hold him to the fire for that right now. Although, I'm doing everything I can short of bad life advice, to get his ass out here to my place for a herf... If he doesn't show up soon, we're gonna have to turn up the heat on him.
SouthernerInSask
© MCMLXI
They really are great reviews!
Hope to see one from you soon too lol. Maybe @EO80 will join in with a review?
This stick is a handmade from the DR. The label reads: The Retirement System Of Alabama with the actual RSA logo.
This was another rocket from the 'it's far worse than you can imagine' collection in the CI Dominican Sampler.
I have no idea of the intended construction for this cigar. It has the feel of a dish sponge that's used well past it's intended lifespan, then left to dry out completely only to be pressed into service again. Contributing to that could be a long pressed in streak, which look suspiciously like the crease a conveyor wheel might make, that stretches down 2/3rds of the stick. I hope you can see it in this pic.
The cap was put on with all the love of a Belgian street worker. It was peeling off right out of the cellophane. Once put back in place, the cap cut smoothly and I took the pre-light draw. "Why", I asked myself immediately, "did I do that?" I struggled for a while on which type of cardboard this was reminiscent of. Not your standard shipping box, I though about perhaps the inner side to a Pop-Tarts box, but that was too sweet. No, from my past I remembered with horror, this was the taste of the U-haul Enviro-Bubble® Box. Not the bubble wrap, but just the box.
![Enviro-bubble [1600x1200].jpg](/data/attachments/46/46741-80a0f6a4e36d618ebd3c819932cd8041.jpg)
![yak-on-the-plateau [1600x1200].jpg](/data/attachments/46/46743-19d816ceee1f4131973e63cffccac45e.jpg)
Take this box, pass it through the ass of a yak, and that's your pre-light draw.
Right away, we're off the the races. Notes of asparagus root and despair. The burn is all over the place.
The root goes away soon and by midway is replaced by PallMall buts found in a city park ashtray after a hailstorm. The despair is still hanging in there. Into the last third (it's for the children!) it's starting to get notes of What Did I do With My Life. The despair has mellowed out to a faint sobbing flavor.
That's about all the torture I can take. It was a fast smoke, thankfully. The burn kept wanting to run down that channel in the side. To sum up, the cigar makes me want to ride Amtrak.
This was another rocket from the 'it's far worse than you can imagine' collection in the CI Dominican Sampler.
I have no idea of the intended construction for this cigar. It has the feel of a dish sponge that's used well past it's intended lifespan, then left to dry out completely only to be pressed into service again. Contributing to that could be a long pressed in streak, which look suspiciously like the crease a conveyor wheel might make, that stretches down 2/3rds of the stick. I hope you can see it in this pic.
The cap was put on with all the love of a Belgian street worker. It was peeling off right out of the cellophane. Once put back in place, the cap cut smoothly and I took the pre-light draw. "Why", I asked myself immediately, "did I do that?" I struggled for a while on which type of cardboard this was reminiscent of. Not your standard shipping box, I though about perhaps the inner side to a Pop-Tarts box, but that was too sweet. No, from my past I remembered with horror, this was the taste of the U-haul Enviro-Bubble® Box. Not the bubble wrap, but just the box.
Take this box, pass it through the ass of a yak, and that's your pre-light draw.
Right away, we're off the the races. Notes of asparagus root and despair. The burn is all over the place.
The root goes away soon and by midway is replaced by PallMall buts found in a city park ashtray after a hailstorm. The despair is still hanging in there. Into the last third (it's for the children!) it's starting to get notes of What Did I do With My Life. The despair has mellowed out to a faint sobbing flavor.
That's about all the torture I can take. It was a fast smoke, thankfully. The burn kept wanting to run down that channel in the side. To sum up, the cigar makes me want to ride Amtrak.
c.ortiz108
The fly in the ointment.
Ha ha! Great review of one of my favorite named cigars. Rolled by retirees in Alabama, i imagine.
SouthernerInSask
© MCMLXI
Awesome review! Wonder where the heck they found that gem hiding lol
LMAO almost spit my slaw dog all over the screen!
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I guess I wasn't going to get away with challenging everyone else to smoke a turd if I wasn't going to do it myself, so here it is: the Hesitant Pirate. An appropriately named choice for this endeavor, as I've been hesitating to do this for quite a while now...
I bought these along with some other crap on cbid about 3 years ago, when I first started smoking cigars. After smoking a few of the Duques, etc, they all went into gallon Ziploc bags, and into my closet. I've never smoked one of these, but at least it has some age on it. The band is cool enough I guess, with a surprising amount of detail put into it, for being such a cheap stick. The wrapper is a bit veiny and has a few off-color spots, but overall it's not bad and even has some tooth to it. The stick feels a bit spongey and bounces back when squeezed. Not bad until I sniff it, as it smells dank and musty, like an old basement. I don't usually run my nose along my cigar and sniff it, and I wouldn't do it if it wasn't mine, but for what we're doing here, we can throw etiquette and decency out the window. Pre-light draw isn't horrible, but with the usual cheap tobacco and hay notes that you'd expect from a stick like this.
First third - first few puffs aren't as bad as I had anticipated, there's really nothing there, which is much more of a relief than a disappointment. The draw is easy and the ask is white, and I'm pairing it with a Natty Light. Still no flavor through the first third, aroma is plain tobacco, cardboard, and dust. It has a slight aftertaste of cheap cigarettes. Solid chunk of ash falls at about 1 inch.
2nd third - still smells like a dive bar where old people smoke cheap cigarettes. It's burning pretty well, and the ash falls in half-inch increments now. Still nothing much going on with it flavor-wise; I think that any flavors I'm getting here are more from the beer, so I switch it up to see if Bud Light brings out anything else in it. It doesn't. Retrohale produces nothing. It's giving me a mild headache.
3rd third - or is it third 3rd? There's still nothing going on here except for the stanky aroma (which is tolerable) and maybe a bit of cheap cigarette aftertaste, which is masked pretty easily by my beer. The worst part about it is the headache, which is not going away. So I'm reaching for the aspirin. Burn line is approaching the band, and it's burned pretty evenly throughout. As I remove the band, I'm thinking I could probably nub this thing, but wondering if I'll ever live down the inevitable jokes about taking all 7 inches of a rocket... Phuckitt, self-respect is over-rated anyway, so I'm grabbing another aspirin and soldiering on!
I was able to smoke it well past the band, but the burn is getting hot at this point, so this is the end of the road for the Hesitant Pirate. All in all, it could have been a lot worse. It wasn't disgusting, there just wasn't anything there. It's late and I could easily go to bed right now, but I have to know if I can now smoke a mediocre cigar and have it taste amazing, or if my taste buds are completely shot for the night, so it's back to the humi for some scientific experimenting!
I bought these along with some other crap on cbid about 3 years ago, when I first started smoking cigars. After smoking a few of the Duques, etc, they all went into gallon Ziploc bags, and into my closet. I've never smoked one of these, but at least it has some age on it. The band is cool enough I guess, with a surprising amount of detail put into it, for being such a cheap stick. The wrapper is a bit veiny and has a few off-color spots, but overall it's not bad and even has some tooth to it. The stick feels a bit spongey and bounces back when squeezed. Not bad until I sniff it, as it smells dank and musty, like an old basement. I don't usually run my nose along my cigar and sniff it, and I wouldn't do it if it wasn't mine, but for what we're doing here, we can throw etiquette and decency out the window. Pre-light draw isn't horrible, but with the usual cheap tobacco and hay notes that you'd expect from a stick like this.
First third - first few puffs aren't as bad as I had anticipated, there's really nothing there, which is much more of a relief than a disappointment. The draw is easy and the ask is white, and I'm pairing it with a Natty Light. Still no flavor through the first third, aroma is plain tobacco, cardboard, and dust. It has a slight aftertaste of cheap cigarettes. Solid chunk of ash falls at about 1 inch.
2nd third - still smells like a dive bar where old people smoke cheap cigarettes. It's burning pretty well, and the ash falls in half-inch increments now. Still nothing much going on with it flavor-wise; I think that any flavors I'm getting here are more from the beer, so I switch it up to see if Bud Light brings out anything else in it. It doesn't. Retrohale produces nothing. It's giving me a mild headache.
3rd third - or is it third 3rd? There's still nothing going on here except for the stanky aroma (which is tolerable) and maybe a bit of cheap cigarette aftertaste, which is masked pretty easily by my beer. The worst part about it is the headache, which is not going away. So I'm reaching for the aspirin. Burn line is approaching the band, and it's burned pretty evenly throughout. As I remove the band, I'm thinking I could probably nub this thing, but wondering if I'll ever live down the inevitable jokes about taking all 7 inches of a rocket... Phuckitt, self-respect is over-rated anyway, so I'm grabbing another aspirin and soldiering on!
I was able to smoke it well past the band, but the burn is getting hot at this point, so this is the end of the road for the Hesitant Pirate. All in all, it could have been a lot worse. It wasn't disgusting, there just wasn't anything there. It's late and I could easily go to bed right now, but I have to know if I can now smoke a mediocre cigar and have it taste amazing, or if my taste buds are completely shot for the night, so it's back to the humi for some scientific experimenting!
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8ball
Ruler of Grayskull
Man, brother, for being new and only 5 posts, you sure are taking a beating for this place. And I thought I was bad.
SouthernerInSask
© MCMLXI
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Thanks! But I'm afraid that the real damage wasn't just the hour and a half I spent on that stick... I'm smoking a Nat Sherman Metropolitan maduro right now, and it tastes just like the Hesitant Pirate, and only smells marginally better. I really hope taste buds grow back...
I am bound and determined to pare down my inventory. Having recently acquired some substantial humidors, I want to leave the days of the plastic tub behind me. I also want room for more good stickage.
On top of that (nerd alert) I used to keep the minutes for our monthly BBS gathering (wings, beer, modems, etc). I can explain what a BBS was for the young ones, if needed. I wrote them in much the same style as these dog rocket reviews and they were well received. I've missed doing that since BBSes vanished once the web appeared on the scene. And the plus side to any bad event, in this case an awful cigar, is an entertaining story. So I get to use up these literal wastes of space and stretch my inner muse.
I've been smoking two or three a day lately, so it's not like I'm only smoking these rockets.
8ball
Ruler of Grayskull
Yeah, same thing with me. That duque would have probably sat in my humidor for years. This is a really good idea to smoke less desirables. They do make funny reviews, one of the reasons I took on the task of reviewing an acid tin, for the enjoyment of others
I am waiting on the dog rocket box to get here. I would hate to smoke up my inventory before having to gain more. Perhaps if it is deemed appropriate I will smoke a garcia y vega crystal maduro for review. Its a "premium" machine made from what I gather. And trust me, I smoked one of these before and it was not good.
So what say the powers that be? If you deem it worthy like this this post.
SouthernerInSask
© MCMLXI
Thats awesome lol. I think that maybe the one that originally got me into smoking cigars