So, I started out with the Penny Colada. A little backstory... Last night, went to a friends for a cookout. He fancies himself as a cigar smoker, so he brought out a couple of Java cigars before I could retrieve my own from the car. These were like the churchill version of a hershey's candy bar. I wont go into detail, but that was a long hour plus of graciously smiling while smoking...
So back to the penny colada... I had a conuco and Hershey Java in my recent history, and was still half drunk, so I wasnt intimidated.
That was the last smile of the day...
If you close your eyes and smell the P-C, you can imagine the Hawiian Tropic Bikini Team and let your mind wander. Unfortunately, Wes was always there to bring me screeching back to reality. Best thing about that smoke is that it only takes 30 min to power through it. Some things I vaguely recall... Bikini Team. Wes. Burning cardboard. Grape drank. Coconut lip balm. Bikini Team. Freakin' Wes! Stale, musty saddle leather recently used on a camel. Grape drank. Bikini.. WES! 84 year old Italian dude oiled up in a speedo. WTF Wes... Apparently the pic didnt make it, but I took it down to 1/2"...
Next up was Bondo Mystery Stick #5.
Grabbed the V-cutter only to realize it was pre-cut. Shit. I recall some of these being reported previously, so I was pretty apprehensive. Lit, smoked, and was happy. After the terrible stuff I'd smoked over the past 24 hours, this was a breath of fresh air. Not that it was good or anything, it just wasnt horrible. Medium body cigar, with specific tasting notes lost to dead taste buds, but seriously a high point of the day. Ok, maybe just not as low as the rest, but you get the idea. Would I smoke another? Hell yes, if I'd just run the Conuco/Java/Penny-colada gauntlet again for some strange reason. Otherwise, maybe.
Or not.
Steve shows up after getting dragged into a work issue. Just in time... Third on the docket was Preachers toxic rocket. What an abomination... Oregano and mint, mixed with eternal reflection on poor decisions past. Those past decisions all look pretty good right now, compared to smoking this thing. There really isnt a way to explain it, other than a menthol version of my wife's countertop cleaner.
I think they share some common ingredients.
Every time she sprays this stuff, my sinuses scream, and here I am smoking it... not a pleasant process, but the deed was done, with a headache as the final result.
Finally, with the end in sight, and my tongue feeling like it had been swapped with the tongue of an old gym shoe, I grabbed the O-Crap. By no means a cigar I'd ever reach for again, it paled in comparison to the Preacher's Mortal Sin. Still, it was a sort of formality to end the day. I was generally delirious by this point, with no taste buds, a blank stare, and about 6 cans of hangover cure down the hatch, so I'll just provide needed documentation.
Upon further reflection, I'm almost 6% certain that Einstein came up with his Theory of Relativity when smoking a O-Crap immediately following a toxic turd...
Not sure I'll smoke another cigar for a month...
