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Sobriety Thread

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:ROFLMAO:
Yeah, im starting to realize ill never be able to pick up again, because i know i cant just socially have one and then not think about it again. Although its not easy, Im accepting it and starting to feel a lot better.
That's awesome, brother. It's been great seeing activity on this thread again, I really appreciate you being so open and honest with us. It's tough realizing you can't have just one, especially when you feel like you can.

The beauty of sobriety, and specifically 12 step is the gifts that you receive that are because you stopped, not the gift of stopping. I hope you keep at it, because there are so many wonderful gifts to receive from step work, and from staying sober one day at a time.

The old timers told me when I arrived that a grateful heart will never use. Keep that attitude of gratitude, keep coming back, and don't ever forget your last day drinking! Very happy for you and your loved ones to be in this process, it's a truly amazing thing.
 

8ball

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That's awesome, brother. It's been great seeing activity on this thread again, I really appreciate you being so open and honest with us. It's tough realizing you can't have just one, especially when you feel like you can.

The beauty of sobriety, and specifically 12 step is the gifts that you receive that are because you stopped, not the gift of stopping. I hope you keep at it, because there are so many wonderful gifts to receive from step work, and from staying sober one day at a time.

The old timers told me when I arrived that a grateful heart will never use. Keep that attitude of gratitude, keep coming back, and don't ever forget your last day drinking! Very happy for you and your loved ones to be in this process, it's a truly amazing thing.
thanks man, it's guys like all of you that help make this easier. Me "coming out" has been personal therapy for my self. It's me letting go. On a positive note, my son got off the bus yesterday and I immediately got him to the table and started doing his homework together as opposed to me just sitting on my lazy boy with the ipad.
I'm so glad I did this now. My 5 and 8 year old are helping this process so much and it's cool that hopefully I can tell them this down the line when they can understand. The thought of them going down my path brings tears to my eyes.
 

ChefBoyRG54

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thanks man, it's guys like all of you that help make this easier. Me "coming out" has been personal therapy for my self. It's me letting go. On a positive note, my son got off the bus yesterday and I immediately got him to the table and started doing his homework together as opposed to me just sitting on my lazy boy with the ipad.
I'm so glad I did this now. My 5 and 8 year old are helping this process so much and it's cool that hopefully I can tell them this down the line when they can understand. The thought of them going down my path brings tears to my eyes.
My wife and I are both in recovery. I fear the same for my children, but plan to give them the best tools I can and can only hope they make better choices.

I'm sure the environment of keg parties and everybody Fd up not being exposed to them every time the family get together will help.

We had a name for people who could drink in moderation and only have 2 and it wasn't the name "normal". Thank God I get to teach my kids different.

Keep it up, just the tip of the iceberg. Seriously
 
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We had a name for people who could drink in moderation and only have 2 and it wasn't the name "normal". Thank God I get to teach my kids different.
I'm not sure I understand this statement. I practice moderation and model moderation for my children. This is "normal" to me and my wife...


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ChefBoyRG54

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I'm not sure I understand this statement. I practice moderation and model moderation for my children. This is "normal" to me and my wife...


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I just meant that while using/drinking and as an addict the concept of people who drink in moderation, or can drink in moderation befuddles me because I can only conceive the idea of all or nothing.

What you do is normal XD, but my addict normal was all Fd up making real normal a mere pipe dream that is completely unattainable, yet was the typical goal of the bs attempts i made by saying I am "cutting back" or "trying to control" it.

I doubt you talk about controlling your drinking because you just do it. For me, the fact that I had to think about control or try to achieve it really meant I already lost it and it wasn't coming back, if it was ever there to begin with
 
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:ROFLMAO:
Yeah, im starting to realize ill never be able to pick up again, because i know i cant just socially have one and then not think about it again. Although its not easy, Im accepting it and starting to feel a lot better.
I wish my FIL could figure this out. He was a functioning alcoholic while he was working as an engineer for the big 3. I mean seriously, 3 martini lunches, would come home and start in on whatever was at home. He was famous for the big gulp type cup full of wine. He would polish off a half gallon a night. He lost his mom and dad then retired and fell apart. He tried post retirement jobs and he got fired from them all either for being drunk or for having an attitude from withdrawing. He ended up getting divorced. When he left the house he left with a beautiful f450 and 5th wheel. Within 2 years both were destroyed. within 5 years he had 3 DUI's in multiple states and served jail time for some. He's now home living in a $2500 mobile home. He is trying but he gets 6 months sober and then thinks he can handle 1 or 2 and then goes completely off the rails again. He breaks my wife and daughter's hearts every time he does it. We've tried to shield my daughter from it but she figured it out quick. She's 15 now she loves him but wants nothing to do with him. He and I have had our differences but he is truly a good man. I've tried talking to him but I cant reach him. He will die soon eiter from a DUI wreck or the effects of 50+ years of drinking. At this point I have to have some serenity. Ive tried courage, now I just need the wisdom to accept him as is.
 

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I just meant that while using/drinking and as an addict the concept of people who drink in moderation, or can drink in moderation befuddles me because I can only conceive the idea of all or nothing.

What you do is normal XD, but my addict normal was all Fd up making real normal a mere pipe dream that is completely unattainable, yet was the typical goal of the bs attempts i made by saying I am "cutting back" or "trying to control" it.

I doubt you talk about controlling your drinking because you just do it. For me, the fact that I had to think about control or try to achieve it really meant I already lost it and it wasn't coming back, if it was ever there to begin with
Ryan, you summed this up exactly, and I agree. I understand completely. I can't comprehend someone having two to four beers and either stopping right after those beers or someone getting trashed and then not drinking again for two weeks. Two months ago I got wasted, called in sick, and then started to drink again at around 9pm. I'm finally understanding that an addicts mind is not normal, therefore, we cannot understand normal. Thus, I don't think I can ever pick up again and be "normal".
 

8ball

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I wish my FIL could figure this out. He was a functioning alcoholic while he was working as an engineer for the big 3. I mean seriously, 3 martini lunches, would come home and start in on whatever was at home. He was famous for the big gulp type cup full of wine. He would polish off a half gallon a night. He lost his mom and dad then retired and fell apart. He tried post retirement jobs and he got fired from them all either for being drunk or for having an attitude from withdrawing. He ended up getting divorced. When he left the house he left with a beautiful f450 and 5th wheel. Within 2 years both were destroyed. within 5 years he had 3 DUI's in multiple states and served jail time for some. He's now home living in a $2500 mobile home. He is trying but he gets 6 months sober and then thinks he can handle 1 or 2 and then goes completely off the rails again. He breaks my wife and daughter's hearts every time he does it. We've tried to shield my daughter from it but she figured it out quick. She's 15 now she loves him but wants nothing to do with him. He and I have had our differences but he is truly a good man. I've tried talking to him but I cant reach him. He will die soon eiter from a DUI wreck or the effects of 50+ years of drinking. At this point I have to have some serenity. Ive tried courage, now I just need the wisdom to accept him as is.
I'm sorry to hear about this especially because my niece who is 16 has a father that is a meth addict so I can understand it with your daughter. I don't know what's worst, being an addict or having a close family member that is an addict that you can't help.
 
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I'm sorry to hear about this especially because my niece who is 16 has a father that is a meth addict so I can understand it with your daughter. I don't know what's worst, being an addict or having a close family member that is an addict that you can't help.
I appreciate the thought. My kid is strong and a really good kid. Hell shes 15 and already taking college classes (blended high school 1 extra year come out with associates degree). Im just glad you are good for today. Who knows maybe my FIL will figure it out tomorrow.
 

8ball

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I appreciate the thought. My kid is strong and a really good kid. Hell shes 15 and already taking college classes (blended high school 1 extra year come out with associates degree). Im just glad you are good for today. Who knows maybe my FIL will figure it out tomorrow.
I was just going to only take a break until I experienced a moment of clarity and then immediately told myself, I need to go to AA, and soon. Hopefully the same will happen with him, it's never too late, even after you've lost everything. So happy to hear the strength of your daughter. My niece is the same, honors student, and my new brother in law adopted her last year. She's a strong kid that unfortunately had to remove her biological father from her life.
 
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I'm sorry to hear about this especially because my niece who is 16 has a father that is a meth addict so I can understand it with your daughter. I don't know what's worst, being an addict or having a close family member that is an addict that you can't help.
In some ways addiction is harder on loved ones than the addict. My father is an addict and I hated him for it and that hate is what started me down the path of addiction. I would suggest family members attend al anon meeting. http://www.al-anon.org/ to help them deal with the emotional roller coaster that comes with living / loving an addict
I appreciate the thought. My kid is strong and a really good kid. Hell shes 15 and already taking college classes (blended high school 1 extra year come out with associates degree). Im just glad you are good for today. Who knows maybe my FIL will figure it out tomorrow.

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In some ways addiction is harder on loved ones than the addict. My father is an addict and I hated him for it and that hate is what started me down the path of addiction. I would suggest family members attend al anon meeting. http://www.al-anon.org/ to help them deal with the emotional roller coaster that comes with living / loving an addict
Personally when I was a kid my mom and I went the al anon/ alateen route from my stepdad having an issue that he corrected. The only good thing I got out of it was the serenity prayer. There was so much flux in the group it felt like we went over the first step 60 gazillion times and thats about it. We talk and have a decent relationship so she comes to us when she is upset about it. My experience allows me a little more to help her than the average person


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So I have noticed that there are a number of brothers who are clean and sober and are pretty open about it. I would like this thread to be a place where those who may struggle with addiction or alcohol issues can find another brother who can offer advice and/or support. If you are clean/sober and would like to offer your help please post up.
If you think you have an issue and want advice just find a brother on this thread and PM them. There is zero need for you to post here, just PM one of us. You can post up if you like but is completely unnecessary.
And if I am the only one who offers help, that is cool too. I am here for anyone that needs help. My sobriety date is September 27, 2006, so I have a couple days experience at it.

Having said all that. What this thread will NOT be is a debate thread. If this turns into a debate about drug and alcohol addiction and treatment I will have this thing deleted so fast it will make your head spin. You want to debate? Take it to the debate thread or PM.

All that will be offered here is a chance at a better way of life.

Here is the current list of brothers to contact if you need to. And a big thanks to them for offering to help.

1. Zama80
2. Javajunkie
3. 3/5king
4. FuenteSmoker
5. ChefBoyRG54
6. Doug B
7. Cigar_Benz_Daddy
8. srduggins
9. madcox
10. CWS
So I have noticed that there are a number of brothers who are clean and sober and are pretty open about it. I would like this thread to be a place where those who may struggle with addiction or alcohol issues can find another brother who can offer advice and/or support. If you are clean/sober and would like to offer your help please post up.
If you think you have an issue and want advice just find a brother on this thread and PM them. There is zero need for you to post here, just PM one of us. You can post up if you like but is completely unnecessary.
And if I am the only one who offers help, that is cool too. I am here for anyone that needs help. My sobriety date is September 27, 2006, so I have a couple days experience at it.

Having said all that. What this thread will NOT be is a debate thread. If this turns into a debate about drug and alcohol addiction and treatment I will have this thing deleted so fast it will make your head spin. You want to debate? Take it to the debate thread or PM.

All that will be offered here is a chance at a better way of life.

Here is the current list of brothers to contact if you need to. And a big thanks to them for offering to help.

1. Zama80
2. Javajunkie
3. 3/5king
4. FuenteSmoker
5. ChefBoyRG54
6. Doug B
7. Cigar_Benz_Daddy
8. srduggins
9. madcox
10. CWS
Hey man I think this is amazing and a really great thing for people I myself have been clean one year and almost 11 months my clean date is March 25 2014 and am here to help anyone who needs I'm available at any time...
 

ChefBoyRG54

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I was just going to only take a break until I experienced a moment of clarity and then immediately told myself, I need to go to AA, and soon. Hopefully the same will happen with him, it's never too late, even after you've lost everything. So happy to hear the strength of your daughter. My niece is the same, honors student, and my new brother in law adopted her last year. She's a strong kid that unfortunately had to remove her biological father from her life.
If this happened because of this thread, that's total bs!

Thanks Eric, and you better not have used today btw!
 
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Ha ha ha. Nah, ive wanted to hit you up for awhile. Almost 24 days now & taking my son out to mini golf tomorrow. Not easy, but im seeing the rewards.
Chef is an easy target, well done.

Keep coming back, more will be revealed, and for fucks sake, always remember the time to call your sponsor is BEFORE, NOT AFTER!
 

ChefBoyRG54

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Ha ha ha. Nah, ive wanted to hit you up for awhile. Almost 24 days now & taking my son out to mini golf tomorrow. Not easy, but im seeing the rewards.
Well thanks man.

Glad you got a streak going. It's gets easier, but it's definitely not easy, especially in the early goings. Just stay busy with meetings and family etc. Idle hands can fuck shit up.

I'm proud of you brother!
 
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