King Kill 33
BoM Dec '13
Wow man! What are you up to? Did you make that shit up yourself? LOL
I can't stop laughing at your 2 part joke...
KK33
Tell us a joke.
- Thread starter rev.b
- Start date
I can't stop laughing at your 2 part joke...
KK33
Lol works way better in person back to back. After the first one people look at u like the f*ck is in your cup!? Then you're like ok ok lemme redeem myself lol harder to pull off here.
King Kill 33
BoM Dec '13
An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone.
An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more.
This happens yet again. The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers.
Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?"
"Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies, "You see, I have two brothers, and one went to America, and the other to Australia. We promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond."
The bartender and the whole town was pleased with this answer, and soon the Man Who Orders Three Beers became a local celebrity and source of pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him drink.
Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers. The bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening: he orders only two beers. The word flies around town. Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers.
The next day, the bartender says to the man, "Folks around here, me first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. You know-the two beers and all..."
The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, "You'll be happy to hear that my two brothers are alive and well. It's just that I, meself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent."
An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more.
This happens yet again. The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers.
Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?"
"Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies, "You see, I have two brothers, and one went to America, and the other to Australia. We promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond."
The bartender and the whole town was pleased with this answer, and soon the Man Who Orders Three Beers became a local celebrity and source of pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him drink.
Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers. The bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening: he orders only two beers. The word flies around town. Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers.
The next day, the bartender says to the man, "Folks around here, me first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. You know-the two beers and all..."
The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, "You'll be happy to hear that my two brothers are alive and well. It's just that I, meself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent."
That is great, never heard that before!!!Ever had sex while camping?........its fucking intents
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as
a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he
had any odd jobs for her to do.
Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, How much
will you charge me?" The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would
need was in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, Does she
realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?" He responded,
"That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those
dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
You're finished already?" the husband asked. Yes," the blonde replied,
"and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it
to her.
And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."
a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he
had any odd jobs for her to do.
Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, How much
will you charge me?" The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would
need was in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, Does she
realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?" He responded,
"That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those
dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
You're finished already?" the husband asked. Yes," the blonde replied,
"and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it
to her.
And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."
Thank you for this. It maybe a dumb joke but I just about pissed my pants laughing.
Met this tattooed Spanish whore,
We had a Tit for Tat relationship
(yes, I did make this up)
We had a Tit for Tat relationship
(yes, I did make this up
)
Why did God give women legs?
So they wouldn't leave a slug trail everywhere they went.
So they wouldn't leave a slug trail everywhere they went.
Hoshneer
Drew Estate NotRex
Omg! That is hilarious!
Which one tattooed whores or legless women? lol
Sorry for these next ones, I can't help myself:
You've CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!
You FELINE ok?
Do you need a PURR-ametic
So bad, I know lol
You've CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!
You FELINE ok?
Do you need a PURR-ametic
So bad, I know
lol