Ok, I've been trying to delay this by getting a brisket on the smoker, which is a process that I've managed to grossly exaggerate into a several hour project. Can't hide behind that now, its on...
So the "Cuban #2" (I think that's what it was called) I bought to smoke in LuckySaturn13s honor has all the feel of a paper yard waste bag stuffed with raked leaves. The aroma is hay-like. Not the pleasant sweet hay you feed to a race horse, but more the urine-soaked hay that's in the bottom of the stall. Yes, a definite hint of parking garage stairwell, where the homeless like to relieve themselves.
A pre-light draw is fortunately piss-free, but has a vegetable flavor, reminiscent of cabbage, broccoli, or maybe brussel sprouts. I like those things, just have never considered smoking them before.
Initial draws were sweet hay, and not in a bad way. I can still smell the horse stall second hand, but fortunately it's not on the palate. It quite suddenly goes bitter, coating the whole mouth like bile. Burn is horrible, immediately canoeing and struggling to stay lit.
Midway, it briefly goes to shit. Manure. Barnyard. Alternating with peppery bitterness. Burnt tire. My tongue is starting to hurt a little...
As I near the final 1/3rd, getting some unraveling. Burnt tire changes to railroad tie. Creosote. Was playing fetch with the dog during this, but he wont bring the ball back anymore.
Ok, I'm struggling here. If not for the glory displayed by my forebearers, I would have quit long ago. I plan to nub this thing, but its hard to know when to stop. One side is nearly to my fingers, the other is unburnt 2" up. Suddenly sour lemon and Red Hot candy. Is that possible? The dog now has a hobo hankerchief tied to a stick and looks to be heading to the neighbors to live.
The cigar is badly coming apart, and can best be described as a sock stuffed with sawdust or maybe "flaccid".
One last draw convinces me I'm done. Menthol with a hint of dead, ripe mouse. The dog returns, apparently fearing for my safety, and proceeds to attack me. I'll trust his better judgement and tap out...
And if not for him, I probably don't have two other best brothers in MO: Eran @EO80 and Jamie @multi-useless . Nor would there have been that epic Vegas herf, or the SWMO2 herf. Nor would I have EVER burned some of history's most horrific cigars (e.g. the venerable Ron Mexico and St. Croix Hazelnut). 
