What's new

New fathers

Rating - 100%
52   0   0
Joined
May 14, 2012
Messages
3,588
Location
Milwaukee
7 months (5 months adjusted, 2 months premie). We've been up with a screaming kid for an hour. Eyes closed. Mom is now holding him and he's still not calm. This has come out of nowhere as he used to sleep during the night.
 
Rating - 100%
18   0   0
Joined
Dec 5, 2013
Messages
1,605
Location
Irwin, PA, USA
Consistency is key. We would give the crying about 10 min and would go in, not pick our boy up, but rub his back, try to calm him and let him know we were a room away. We would then leave and return every 5 min or so.

We were told by our ped not to pick him up or hold him.

Google sleep training. There's tons of info out there.

With patience and consistency, this pays off. That is until.they convert to a toddler bed. That's where we are now and there lots of falling asleep with him.
 
Rating - 100%
52   0   0
Joined
May 14, 2012
Messages
3,588
Location
Milwaukee
Sorry for all the questions guys, this is just wiping us out. So here's the scenario from last night. We leave him, he starts fussing we let him fuss for about 2 minutes. Go in. Okay. Then next time is 5 minutes. Next is ten. Problem is, now after that, he literally cannot be comforted. You go in, he doesn't calm down. You leave, it's worse. Started screaming for over an hour. We finally gave in and mom fed him.
 
Rating - 100%
52   0   0
Joined
May 14, 2012
Messages
3,588
Location
Milwaukee
Maybe he's hungry. Do you guys feed him right before laying him down? My wife nursed right before bed.
See this is maybe what I'm thinking. He nurses before bed. But throughout the day he gets solid food AND nursing /bottle. But then the bed time feeding is just nursing. We're thinking of giving him some solid food too and nursing before bed tonight.

Also, were your kids asleep when you laid them down, or just drowsy? If drowsy, how did you keep him awake during the final nursing?
 
Rating - 100%
18   0   0
Joined
Dec 5, 2013
Messages
1,605
Location
Irwin, PA, USA
See this is maybe what I'm thinking. He nurses before bed. But throughout the day he gets solid food AND nursing /bottle. But then the bed time feeding is just nursing. We're thinking of giving him some solid food too and nursing before bed tonight.

Also, were your kids asleep when you laid them down, or just drowsy? If drowsy, how did you keep him awake during the final nursing?
When we did sleep training he was awake. But he had a full belly of milk. I can't remember if we gave solids right before bed or not. That period is a blur. I remeber watching the clock like a hawk waiting to go in.

We also had a set schedule that we stuck to to keep regularity with him. Dinner at 6, bath at 7, bed by 8. This helped tremendously. Still stick to thus some what.

I wouldn't be afraid to try different things. If the wife has to nurse him to sleep after an hour than so be it. I would say just be consistent and he'll come around.

I do remember not letting ours cry for more than an hour. If we hit the hour mark one of us would hold him to sleep.

Boy...I get to do this again in may! Haha. Wouldn't trade it for the world though.
 
Rating - 100%
52   0   0
Joined
May 14, 2012
Messages
3,588
Location
Milwaukee
I probably came off as an asshole, I didn't mean to.

We went for the cereal in a bottle before bed. Not in bed though.
No worries! Haha. You could have said I love you and I would have been like screw you! That's how tired I am....... Haha.

And it's definitely worth it. He wakes up this morning smiling. Just wants to give you a hug. It's the best. That's worth it!
 

luckysaturn13

Smoke it if ya got it!
Rating - 100%
15   0   0
Joined
Feb 2, 2015
Messages
2,231
Location
St. Louis MO
Get down on the floor and play with them. It's monotonous, you'll find a million excuses not to... but get down on the floor and play dolls/legos/gijoes/whatever with them, the way they want to play.
Even if they tell you Vader can't force-choke people. Even if Hulk Is the most powerful avenger and Black Widow wouldn't be able to beat him in a fight. Let 'em imagine the world as they want to when you play. It's your world for everything else in life, let them play in their world... and play in it with them.
This is very true! Growing up when I was little my father was so wiped out from his 60-80 hr work weeks he was too worn out or sleeping to play. We always had fun on the weekends though. When I find myself wiped out I just have to remind myself to get down and have a ball with him.

Dads how to you find time to enjoy cigars. I can usually only get in two a week. Friday and sat night. Otherwise between work, kids activities, homework, dinner, household chores etc... etc... I just cant make the time.
I also have chosen not to smoke in front of my kids which also limits my available smoking time.
I smoke mine late at night or on the weekends. Kinda eats into my time with my better half but sometimes she will hang out with me in the garage why I smoke. Other times ill smoke on the weekends or let her "talk me into" taking a solo car ride to run some errands so I can herf. I don't mind my son seeing me smoke cigars. Hes only two but he will tell you ciggys are ka ka and cigars are awesome! when its nice out ill throw him in the jogging stroller and herf while I push him threw town or we will play hockey out side together.

Did you guys let your kids scream themselves to sleep? We're having a hard time figuring out what to do at bed time. Obviously the kid needs to learn how to soothe himself, but how? Short of leaving him scream, what do you do?
Ok when I was a first time father two years ago this was the hardest thing we delt with. I was in a very very small rental and you could hear his screams all threw the house. It crushes your soul. You almost feel like you threw your kid off the Brooklyn bridge. We finally got to a breaking point after getting about 3 hrs of sleep a night. You have to let them scream it out! The first week is so frikn hard but you have to do it. If you know there not hurngy and not wet you have to stop giving in or it will never stop. This is the same for infants onto toddlers. If there in the crib you know there safe. It does pull on your heart stings but you have to get them into a routine. Something that I found to really help this situation.... I had a set of safety earmuffs with the built in radio I used when I worked in lawncare. They work wonders :) Id also use em for late night diaper changes when I didn't want to hear the crying .Don't be aftraid to put your baby down in the crib then step out side to herf. Makes it a lil easier. Also as your child grows there will be times you and the wife cant get them to quit crying. As I said earlier if there dry and fed don't be afraid to put them in the crib. Kids will get overly tired and they just cry and cry and cry and wont go to sleep until they wear themselves out and pass out.
hope this helps!
 

cgraunke

BoM March '14
Rating - 100%
229   0   0
Joined
Aug 14, 2013
Messages
7,681
Location
Spring strong sweet tall green grass grow...
New dad here too. I have a 16 month old son. If anyone wants to talk about our experience with sleep training, baby helmets, or if you are like me and up at any time of night, hit me up! I will glean this thread for new father tips for sure!
At Children's right now getting little man's cap. So worried about him. I know it will work out, but I can't help but feel bad. Any things I should be asking the doc about?
 
Rating - 100%
33   0   0
Joined
Dec 13, 2013
Messages
1,353
Location
San Diego
At Children's right now getting little man's cap. So worried about him. I know it will work out, but I can't help but feel bad. Any things I should be asking the doc about?
Big step for your little man's future right there Clint! When I was worried or felt bad, I kept thinking "We are doing everything in our power to help him." I'll never regret that. Yet I was still worried of how he'd adjust to wearing it and how people would look at him and treat him. Yes people do stare and sometimes ask questions, but more times than not, the people who have made comments on his cap knew someone close to them that had one too. For the other people asking questions, we used that opportunity to educate or share our experience. We got so accustomed to how he looked with his "cap", we forgot he had one on! His personality shined through.

As for our son, he adjusted like a champ. Most all undergoing "cap" treatment do. His cap was very lightweight. He sweated a lot the first day, then his body acclimated to it after that. We dressed our son cool (just onesies most of the time), cleaned his cap during his 1 hour cap break period (the cap does get stinky), and gave him a bath at this time too.

Sorry I didn't see this post until just right now. You guys are probably not at Children's at the moment anymore. But as for questions, if your experience is like ours, you'll get the "cap" adjusted every other week. At that time, you'll be able to ask the doctor/therapist any questions or concerns you may have. We were very happy with the company we used and the therapist who we worked with. She was very good at taking care of our son and addressing any questions we had.

One question you may want to ask is what the estimated treatment time is. But be flexible. Cases may vary. We only thought he'd benefit from a 4 month treatment, but at the end of 4 months, based on his rate of improvement and growth we opted for another 4 months.

You have my family's full support Clint. If you have questions (I'm sure you'll have more as he starts to live with his cap), I'll try to help. If you ever feeling down and need a boost of encouragement, you have it brother. If you need to vent, let me know! This will only last a short period of time in the grand scheme of things. Before you know it you'll be celebrating the end of his treatment with a celebratory smoke!

How'd it go this morning?
 
Rating - 100%
14   0   0
Joined
Nov 13, 2014
Messages
984
Location
Fort Wainwright, AK
Parents don't forget to take some time for yourselves and/or you and your wife. This is something my wife and I have not done enough of. Get that babysitter every now and again. Get the grandparents to watch them for a weekend so you can take a weekend trip with the wife. I regret not having done this enough. I love my kids, but they also drive me crazy and sometimes you have to get away. Even just some normal adult conversation can be nice now and again.
I want to like this a thousand times over. My son was born in Nov '13 and I deployed May of '14. I didn't get(or make) a chance to really spend enough time one on one with my wife and I deployed not knowing if I was going to even come home to them. Luckily my wife and I have upped our communication game and we are better than ever before with a few babysitters on the contact list so we can enjoy us time when I get back this month.
 

CigarSaint

Who Dat!
Rating - 100%
31   0   0
Joined
May 24, 2011
Messages
907
Location
Covington, La
Jaxson is 2 and our 2nd is due in May (not sure how we are going to manage 2) and I take any possible moment I can to enjoy a drink or stick on my nights off while the little ones sleeping. Congrats on the baby skully and sound me in as subscribed.
It's hard, but you be just fine. Our first one slept and the second one now 10 months had colic from 1 month to six months. Now she'ss perfect... except she wakes up at 5:30 every morning. She does sleep through the night. You can sleep when you retire!!!
 
Rating - 100%
14   0   0
Joined
Nov 13, 2014
Messages
984
Location
Fort Wainwright, AK
At Children's right now getting little man's cap. So worried about him. I know it will work out, but I can't help but feel bad. Any things I should be asking the doc about?
I don't know if you're a Chiver or not, but a while back (maybe early last year) they had a section about an artist who paints awesome designs on caps. I'll look through galleries and see if I can find it and send you the link if you're interested.
 
Top